October 29, 2008

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Bonus #001

Rabbits Rejoice Rape!

"...and God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That's flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Bonus Issue #001 - Learn Not to Burn

Kawaii Pattycakes: I like to say sugoi. And this is the most sugoi of all.

prettyprophet: Some people, should they discover that their friends are drawing rape fantasies featuring said people, would freak out and run the hell away. Needless to say, I'm not one of those people.

funny_bunny: I would hope not. We couldn't BEAR to be without you!

prettyprophet: Remember how we said 'no more doujinshi'? We were lying. Well, Funny was lying.

Kawaii Pattycakes: A little secret FUNNY thing for Happo Bijin's Sweet Body!

funny_bunny: So funny, it's MONEY.

prettyprophet: If you haven't clicked the comic yet, please do. Please fucking do. Got it? Yeah. Ed finally got Funny to do porn. I know, I know, Funny's did this before. This is nothing new. But drawing his friends, although copied from hentai artists, and slipping it into releases? Yeah, that's Funny for you.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Aren't you flattered? I like Pyro Jack's breasts more than your breasts.

prettyprophet: Thanks, slut. Anyways, since it was me who 'starred' in this shit, I'm explaining it, fuck off Funny.

Panel One

For those not in the know: the Incubus is Ed, Baphomet is Ink, Nyx is Lavie, and Pyro's me. Even though this is ostensibly Megaten, I emphasize the fact that pretty much everything is taken from random bits of our lives. Yes, World Tree Madness, blah blah blah, but we ditched it for Usagiten.

So this conversation really did happen. If you know Ed, this shouldn't surprise you one bit. Funny copied off Nekoi Mie for Pyro's face, mainly because of our wonderful discussion on relations between Nekoi and Chika Umino. PS: Umino's not Nekoi, so Pat, shut it.

Panel Two

This probably came from one of our talks on what was under the Pyro Jack's cloak. Funny's in love with Mechafetus and remembered that Pyro girl. Don't ask me how that turned into him copying off the hentai circle Zettai Shoujo. Pat loves Raita, the artist. And before you go, "Oh Pat's a girl, what is she, a lesbo dyke??"...this is the girl who INSISTED funbuns to do Sweet Body. You know what she also insists? Fucking yaoi by the bish-load. Look, Pat and Ed, they know their obscure asian shit, even more than me.

Panel Three

Oh Nekoi, you're a darling. Yes, this came from a Nekoi Mie doujinshi, I forget which one. Funny forgets which one. And Pat is completely in her Melty Blood zone so I can't get her attention. Oh, the moment I start talking about doujinshi she snaps out of it. Here we go: Digital Love. Hey, I recognize this. I think funny was going to use it for the Umino Rabbit Reveal...but we chose the FLCL instead because...it's fucking FLCL porn.

Also, 'boss'. I'm not even bothering to explain that.

Panel Four

In reality, I never did hear Ed talk about wanting to rape me. What happened was me and Pat (not me and Lavie) walked up to them and Funny, who was there, just points at Ed and goes, "ED WANTS TO RAPE YOU". And Ed? He's all, "Tadow bitch. Whacha gonna do?" And that was essentially that.

No, the entire issue wasn't really about Ed's rape fantasies although I bet funny had a kick drawing them. Everything is about the punchline from Lavie: "Rape. It isn't funny." Ok, here I go with a long-ass explanation for all you kids out there.

It was me, Pat, Ed, and Funny. We were sitting around before class started, I don't know why Ed was there because he wasn't in the class, whatever. So Ed and Pat are arguing because apparently Pat tried to rape Ed by lacing his drink the other night. Pat, in a moment of bizarre rationalism, counters with the fact that Ed hit her up with absinthe "just to see what she'd do". I'm not joking, that's all he wanted to know; I was there and I brought her to my house. Anyways, so we were sitting there, talking about whether or not Ed raping Pat would actually be rape, considering that a) she enjoys it b) Ed's her boyfriend c) she's as equally likely to try some sort of fucked up sexual shit with him. Light topic, lots of laughs.

Class ends. We all get ready to leave. Out of NOWHERE, this one guy with loads of sweat on his forehead who we've seen once or twice in the class, just stops in front of us and says, "Rape. It's not funny."

Now if it was just me, Pat and Funny, we would've been like "Wtf yo, get out." Funny would've definitely cracked up. No, it wasn't just us.

Ed just freezes and stares right into the guy's eyes, gives his trademark sneer, and says: "Bitch, it's hilarious."

So that was the first and last time that one guy ever talked to us. Probably because we constantly repeat that phrase everyday now. Whenever someone mentions rape? "Shut the fuck up. Rape? Not funny!" In a way, it's kinda scary because if there was ever a "shit's about to go down" moment in a fucking linguistics class...that would be it. Plus if that kid goes off the deep end, we'd be on his hit list.

And now you all know the story behind that line.

funny_bunny: Wow, I really liked that story! Especially because I was in it!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I miss that guy. He once wore a Castlevania tee!

prettyprophet: Oh, you mean like Nate's Castlevania tee? Fucking gross.

Kawaii Pattycakes: That's exactly it!

prettyprophet: Ok, I don't know where we're going with this anymore. Um, Ed got Funny into a rape fantasy which was really just a medium so Funny could use the rape line. This was all Ed and Funny because I wouldn't have let that shit slide. Course, since Funbuns is chief, if he wants to draw his friends in sexual misadventures, he can. He can because I can't stop him. What I can do, is ridicule him mercilessly in later issues.

funny_bunny: Good gameplan!

Kawaii Pattycakes: Thumbs up! WHEN'S YAOI?


prettyprophet: It's a go-go.


October 12, 2008

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - #0001

YOUSEI fairy

"The wind wakes unknown
Secrets to the surface
nani ka ga ima kawari sou de
shitsu kushi ta mono subete o tsunagi awase tara
tobira ga hirai ta (I-I-I see again!)"

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil COLOR Cover (designed by edthefucker)
Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0001 - Reality is a Harsh Mistress

prettyprophet: Hey kids, come for your cake.

funny_bunny: It is filled with Vitamin M.

Kawaii Pattycakes: MEGATEN!!1

prettyprophet: Fuck, I'm falling asleep. Alright, cover is in color, courtesy of Ed. I'm not even going to explain that.

edthefucker: What, bitch, explain. It's billion times better than that gay shit you did for Etrian.

prettyprophet: We had a gajillion more references than yours. Elmer Fudd, hm? Elmer fuck off.

funny_bunny: Nothing is better than DARK HOUR.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Sorry Ed-o, P3 = rawk.

edthefucker: Shit on all of you. Get out. Get the fuck out.

funny_bunny: It's cold outside!

prettyprophet: It's cold inside. Funbuns, turn on the heat.

funny_bunny: NEVER.

prettyprophet: Since Ink and Lavie aren't here, and I don't feel like explaining, we leave everything to Chief Funbuns. Take it.

edthefucker: Take it like the bitch you are.

funny_bunny: Ooooo you talk so dirty.

Panel One

Pixie! SMT pentagram! Mass Destruction by SHOJI MEGURO! QUOTES FROM EPIC OF GILGAMESH!

Panel Two


Panel Three

Kaneko art! Of the LATEST PIXIE. I love you too, Pixie, for you dia my soul! Look nde, grubby hands and FINGERNAILS. Nails must be long and pink and dainty like mine.

Panel Four

Hey, who drew my penis that long? I don't EVEN HAVE a penis, fufufu!

edthefucker: That was the worst fucking explanation I've ever heard. But this comic's a piece of shit anyways.

prettyprophet: Ignore ed, he happens to have too many beads up his ass. Anyways, there's your incoherent explanation by Funbuns. It's your usual style steal from Totan Kobako and Okota. The bishie pixie was...actually just drawn by funny freestyle. I guess the eyes are kinda Kaneko.

funny_bunny: Arms from LOVELESS.


prettyprophet: Better than Lily Hoshino's?

Kawaii Pattycakes: Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr they both make me SQUEE!!!!!

edthefucker: They make her wet too.

prettyprophet: I prefer Hoshino...but that's like saying I'd rather get shot in the head than pulled apart by bulls.

funny_bunny: Bull penis!

prettyprophet: Sammi Cheng's married, yo.

edthefucker: What a whore.

Kawaii Pattycakes: We NEED to watch Tea Fight. Erika Toda's in it! ERIKA TODA.

prettyprophet: We know. I was the one who told you. Shut up.


Kawaii Pattycakes: Or should we say...DIFFERENT KINDS OF DOUJINSHI! FUFUFUFUFUFU!

prettyprophet: Let's just say we got something big and completely non-game related in the wings. And we need to do it fast.

edthefucker: You guys are going to fuck it up. Faggot funny.

funny_bunny: Don't worry! Thumbs up!

prettyprophet: So yeah, No More Comics 2: Desperate Struggle. 2010. Peace out.


October 10, 2008

Rabbit Roundtable: Eight Heart Paradise


Heart warming life simulation!

Ages ago, there was a game called Harvest Moon. It was on the SNES and it was hard as hell. Fast forward several years and we got Tree of Tranquility. Oh sure, there were tons of other games in between...but we're playing this right now because no one likes playing Island of Happiness.

Chea, nde just bought it over the weekend...so naturally, I've been hogging it. I'm in summer now. They really need to add more save slots; I use only one, but nde likes to use two. Dawg, what happens if you've got a ton of housemates like ed?

Oh shit, I'm sorry, this isn't really much of a roundtable. Probably because we're all busy as hell now and don't have time for this. Instead, it's just going to be a wrap-up of the Tree of Tranquility love stories for everyone:

Lavie Rhap's Story
Sex: Female
Choices as of this date: Gill or Toby
If replayed as male: Anissa

Lavie says: I finally bought a Wii thanks to nde when I expressed my desire to try out a console Harvest Moon. Sadly, we couldn't find Magical Melody or A Wonderful Life being sold for a reasonable price, so I bought Tree of Tranquility, rather than borrowing nde's copy after he and prophet were done. That was probably for the best, since the twins are very exhaustive in their game habits.

I named my character Victoria and finding a husband wasn't a priority for me until all the Rabbits demanded I start flirting. I have interest in Gill, but with his preferred gifts being gold and silver, I deemed him being too avaricious. Since Toby is a more relaxed character, he seems more suitable in the simple life of farming. But surely Gill has a degree of innocence; the Harvest Sprites chose him to aid the Goddess. I'll have to decide when I reach the Firefly Festival, as I'd rather not a repeat of seeing the Fireworks Festival alone.

Pat's Story
Sex: Female
Choices as of this date: Jin (figures)
If replayed as male: None, it's all about Jin

Pat, through prophet, says: Fucking Pat. Always choosing the Asians.

ed's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Luna
If replayed as female: Julius

ed, through prophet, says: "I'm gonna break that bitch." That's ed for you. Sidenote: I don't think he's ever going to get past spring.

Funny's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Anissa
If replayed as female: Luke

funny says: I chose Anissa because she's one of the first you meet and her family's all warm and cozy to me and that's awesome. They have a farm too! So good family life. Also she is elfin.

prophet: Elfin?

funny: Like, her hair, her clothes...elfin! Not ears though.

prophet: It's mind-boggling, but you seem to actually have rational reasons for liking Anissa. How far-out.

nde's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Phoebe
If replayed as female: Jin

nde says: I haven't met Phoebe yet. I think I'll choose her.

prophet's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Probably Renee
If replayed as female: Dunno

prophet says: I seriously can't decide. Now, I started this as a guy, mainly because I was under impression if you go girl, you get fucked over at marriage and subsequent pregnancy, like literally. Have a kid, game ends, rah rah Japanese mindset, right? Well, apparently the game still goes on, even if you're a bird with chick. Thank the fucking Moon Rabbit for that. That's how it should be; think kids will stop a lady-farmer? Hell no. They raised those kids from dinks to doctors, all the while planting crops and shearing sheep. Course, I found out about the whole 'being a girl doesn't suck in this game' deal AFTER I finished a season. Like hell I'm starting over now when I could just have a daughter.

Now, on love. I'm thinking Renee but I've still got other options like Anissa and Selena. Anissa's the most blatant choice, given the whole family familiarity thing...which is why Funbuns chose her. Probably won't pick Anissa since he's already got that. Selena...I liked her little character story. Thought she was just an angsty runaway from a broken home? Nah, none of that shit here. Still, it was TOO little of a character story, plus Selena doesn't seem like the type to fit well in a farm environment. Bet she'll sleep around too (funny: Oh absolutely! Just look at that provocative dress and saucy temperament!).

So Renee. To me, she's like the Ellen of the first Harvest Moon. In fact, that's what she may as well be. Damn these Harvest Moon stock types. But she makes sense. Her family's the animal place and Ellen has a cute intro. Had more impact on me than the others. Oh god what the fuck am I saying?

Patty: Fufufufufu, now you're one of us!

funny: DARK SIDE.

prophet: Shut it.

Now Tree of Tranquility ain't perfect, obviously. Might seem like we're all going ga-ga over it but I got a lot of beef to fry. To start, we have some people we would just love to romance, but they're not on the list: Bo and Elli. Bo for Booberella and Elli for anyone who has a maid fetish (yeah, I know Maya kinda covers the maid thing with that waitress uniform, but that's still just a waitress uniform). Man, if only there was easy-to-use mod tools...

Speaking of mods, GLITCHES. nde and me, we've had no fuck-ups so far, but hilariously, whenever Booberella tries to play Lavie's, it stalls. It's like the game hates her or something, which is terrible, because now Booberella won't ever get to experience the latest-gen Harvest Moon. Anyways, Natsume = glitches, this isn't new, but what the hell we shouldn't be used to this.

Motion controls are shit in Tree of Tranquility? Don't know, none of us use that. Classic baby.

I personally wish we had an item organizer; maybe we do but fuck manuals. I'm pretty sure no one else reads them either, except Lavie. I probably should have, since I fucked up my first seed planting because I thought it was still 3x3 tiles instead of 1x6. Damn, that was lost profit.

Maybe it's just the Rabbits, but it seems barely any of us actually farm. nde mines, Funbuns fishes, Pat...I don't know. I have a preference for mining too, since I want to gold up all my tools. Lavie farms because she's a straight-laced cunt with no zest for life. Cooking food for townspeople in the kitchen, keeping the women rights movement down, that's what she's doing.

Ink is a cockbite motherfucker who won't play Tree of Tranquility. Oh sure, he doesn't have a Wii but neither did Lavie and she got it like THAT. Fuck Ink.

Also, the Thousand Rabbits here have a tendency to destroy any sort of innocence or seriousness any game has. In Twilight Princess, all we could talk about was how Midna x Wolf Link porn (NSFW, surprise surprise) would implode the internet (PS: you can thank Pat for that link). Here, we've got ed and funbuns talking about the sex lives of all the adults (Elli as Hamilton's slave, Sue and Samson making up through rough sex), Pat dreaming of hard Pascal x Main Character action, and me trying to figure out what drove the developers to include Luna, who is pure lolipop. Oh wait, that just answered my question, didn't it?

Homies, if only we weren't waist-deep in manhua and doujinshi...we should do Harvest Moon.

funny edit: Ohohoho, should we now?

Anyways, the Rabbits are overall happy with Tree of Tranquility. Lavie and Funbuns love it, Pat loves it but she'll lose interest soon, probably when Eternal Sonata reenters orbit, ed and Ink don't care, while nde plays it regardless. Myself? Yeah, I like it. It's relaxing fun with more goal-oriented zen. It's no great leap forward over the other games in the series...but hey, would you really want it to be?