April 22, 2009

Mobile Rabbit Roundtable 0080: Rabbits in the Pocket

Classy heroes


funny_bunny: Hey hey, everyone! It's Chief Funbuns!

prettyprophet: And the Prophet.

Lavie Rhap: And I, Lavie.

funny_bunny: Lavie's a PROTECTOR.

prettyprophet: Ok, so we were talking today about CLASS OF HEROES. I'm really looking forward to this, even though I didn't care for Etrian all too much.

Lavie Rhap: Is it because of the school setting?

prettyprophet: Exactly, it IS because of the school setting.

funny_bunny: So! In our GLORIOUS ARROGANCE...we felt that since we, the Thousand Rabbits, always place ourselves in such games...OUR READERS SHOULD LEARN HOW TO MAKE US!

prettyprophet: Hell yes, we are just that narcissistic!

Lavie Rhap: It's actually somewhat of a strange phenomenon.


prettyprophet: Alright, people have no idea what we're talking about. A few years back, when the first Etrian Odyssey came out, Pat was playing it hardcore. I didn't give a shit. One day, Funny goes to her, "Oh, you're playing Etrian. How's that?" And Pat, she just starts gushing on and on like usual but adds, "Prophet (well, my real name) just took down so and so!" I'm like, "Huh, someone's got my name? That's rare." "Oh no, I put all of you guys in my game! Look, you're all so kawaii~~^_^"

And that's that story.

Lavie Rhap: From then on, whenever any of us play games that allow character customization, we try to fit in as many of our friends as possible. Interestingly enough, our choices in classes and characters are nearly identical.

prettyprophet: It's not THAT surprising since we know how everyone plays. But dear readers, we are going to tell YOU how to make the Thousand Rabbits when Class of Heroes comes out. Well maybe not, since...has anyone taken into account race? Because I just focus on class thanks to Etrian and Disgaea.

Lavie Rhap: We'll all be exploring new ground together.

funny_bunny: No worries! Etrian will be our template! DIDI DIDI DIDI.

prettyprophet: Giving you two classes per character and predicated race. Note: Pat was the one who got everything done pretty accurately so we're using her guidelines for this, which was base characters not on usefulness but on closeness to physical appearances and personality. Refer to Etrian Oddity.


nde the Survivalist

Main: Ranger/back-line attacker - something distant
Secondary: Samurai - something stoic from the Orient
Probable Race: Elf - "They prefer softer sounds, as the ancient Elf language is very poetic."

prophet sez: Pick the most depressed looking character for nde. Withdrawn, inattentive, small, and weak. You'd think Hexer, right? Nah, that's the creepy class; Nyx got that in Pat's and I think Funny gave it to holstein in his.


prophet the Alchemist

Main: Warrior/front-line fighter - in your FACE
Secondary: Alchemist/back-line attacker - heavy attack, no magic shit
Probable Race: Elf - "They are a highly intelligent and pious race, and thus are well suited for spell-casting majors."

Lavie sez: Though Pat gave Prophet the Alchemist class in Etrian, that was mainly due to Prophet's major at the time (Chemistry). Choose an aggressive class that acts as the vanguard. Since her brother would be of the Elf race, she would have to be one as well, though I don't believe she would like that.


prophet the Alchemist

Secondary: Cleric/back-line healer - heel plz
Probable Race: Celestian - "A race with the blood of the heavens."

Funny sez: Lavie's supposed to be PROTECTOR OF US ALL and I gave her a Protector figure as a gift and it's AWESOME. But in Class of Heroes only GUYS can be Paladins and that's DETRIMENTAL to the FEMININE CAUSE. BOLLOCKS, SAYS I. So she can be Valkyrie instead.


Patty the Troubadour

Main: Thief/Troubadour/some sort of support - She's a Japanophile
Secondary: Gunner/back-line attacker - She's a slut
Probable Race: Halfling - "Even after coming of age, a member of this race is only about as tall as a human child."

prophet sez: Pat loves the most useless classes but in this case, thieves and whatnot will probably be necessary. Just pick the most energetic looking portrait. Why does she get halfling when she's as tall as I am? Because she's a goddamn CHILD.


Ed the Dark Fucker

Main: Doesn't matter/attacker - ATTACK
Secondary: Doesn't matter/attacker - ATTACK
Probable Race: Diablon - "Being of demon origin, they tend to be avoided by other races."

Lavie sez: I feel bad doing Ed's...(prophet: SHUT UP AND DO IT) Ed's class does not actually matter...we simply choose the most evil looking class. In Etrian, it was one Dark Hunter that looked quite like him, only with blue instead of red hair. He also dislikes any defense, preferring offensive capabilities all the time.


Killer Ink the Killer Landsnecht

Main: Psychicer/back-line magic caster - STOIC
Secondary: Anyone that looks Indian (as in, India) - BRAHMAN
Probable Race: Dwarf - "They are as pious as they are strong, causing many of them to enter priestly fields as well."

Funny sez: WHY DID PAT GIVE HIM LANDSNECHT? Oh yes, because he was selling his soul at the time, fufufufu! INK, YOU SELLOUT BASTARD. Anyways anyways anyways, a classy class will suit Ink just fine. A little mystic BUT NOT TOO MYSTIQUE. He gets dwarf because that is as dark as Class of Heroes gets! And he's SHORT.


Funny Medic

Main: Devout/front-back-whatever - crazy classes
Secondary: Any sort of healing thing - Funny loves healing, the freak
Probable Race: Sprites - "They are also small, but some theories suggest they use illusions to make them appear so."

prophet sez: Ah, the medic. Funny had Pat remake her medic into the lolipop one and name it after him (Pat already made him the male medic). But for Class of Heroes, who knows, Lavie'll probably take the healer slot if Paladins are out. Just pick someone who's like a sprite. You know, someone from the SPRITE race.


prettyprophet: I have my own classes already set for a bunch of friends:

Mori = Wizard, Erdgeist
Nyx = Evoker, Diablon
Peking Duck = Kunoichi, Felpier
trev = Monk, Drake
Trojan = Samurai, Human
Whopper = Paladin, Drake
Emily = Ninja, Felpier

funny_bunny: Here's mine! BUT NOT ALL.

Honey = Wizard, Celestian
holstein = Monk, Diablon
-_- = Evoker, Human
7672359440 = Samurai, Felpier
Aerith’s Bitch = Alchemist, Halfling
Barbarossa = Paladin, Celestian

Lavie Rhap: I don't have a PSP so...I sadly will not be able to join in the school of heroic deeds.

prettyprophet: Man, I gotta write about why I love school-based games one day.

funny_bunny: DO IT NOW.

prettyprophet: Fuck off, I'm playing some ROTK XI.

funny_bunny: SO! Games the Rabbits can be lovingly placed into: Nippon Ichi stuff like Disgaea! Etrian Odyssey! Romance of the Three Kingdoms! Soul Calibur IV! Sins of a Solar Empire! Old skool RPGS! CLASS OF HEROES.

Lavie Rhap: Games that allow customization but has canon names don't count.

prettyprophet: Yeah, like I can name everyone in FF7 "Cunt" but we all know Cloud's name is Cloud. Cloud Strife. Because it's the opposite of Zack. Zack Fair.

Lavie Rhap: You'll never get over that, will you?

prettyprophet: No. I can honestly say that I am totally 100% positive that the sheer fucking stupidness of the reasoning behind those names CANNOT be defended by the fanbase.

funny_bunny: EASY EASY PROPHET, surely we can forgive Final Fantasy when we have such wonderful things like the love between Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly!

prettyprophet: Funny...you just HAD to put their last names in.

funny_bunny: CLASS OF 2009!

Lavie Rhap: Heroes, created by Tim Kring.

prettyprophet: Save the cheerleader, save the PSP.


April 17, 2009

Rabbit Roundtable: Valkyria Profile ~ On the DLC Front

Valkyur is Fight!


prettyprophet: It fucking rocks. If you have Valkyria, get it. If you don't, get a PS3, get Valkyria, then download it.

nde: They should probably beat it first.

prettyprophet: Yeah, probably. So I've got a final tomorrow...fuck that, I played Selvaria's AND Edy's DLC. They're both awesome. I know, $5, that's a little steep...but it's Valkyria. And if this encourages Sega to make more (SKIES OF MOTHERFUCKING ARCADIA), I'm gonna toss 'em bones. SHUT IT YOU CUNTS, I did study, I'll be fine, SHUT IT FUNNY, KEEP CLEANING ACONY, YOU'RE DONE, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES.

nde: I bought the Edy Detachment DLC. Prophet bought Selvaria's.

prettyprophet: I was iffy on Edy since it's only one map compared to Selvaria's...maps. I don't want to spoil anything, so whatever. Anyways, nde wanted to chip in on VC stuff since I was the one who paid for the whole game; I was going to buy Selvaria regardless. You get a MG if you A-rank all of her's...nothing if you A-rank Edy.

nde: For Edy, different endings for different ranks.

prettyprophet: Technically both DLC's are fanservice filled...but Edy's is total fanservice. I'm not talking upskirt shit; just clean fun. So if you like Edy (minor spoilers), Homer, Lynn, Susie, Jann, and Marina, you'll love this DLC. Homer and Marina. They're great. Jann? Japanese makeup-wearing bears? Little too obvious.

nde: Homer has subtlety, then?

prettyprophet: Hold up, I can't believe we haven't talked about this yet: Rabbits in Valkyria, who would we be? Actually fuck that, we could just be ourselves.

nde: No, Lavie talked about this.

prettyprophet: When the hell was that?

nde: Some time ago.

On Squad 7

prettyprophet: We need to get Funny to draw some shit. Too bad it'll suck. [funny edit: nonsense, IT'LL BE FANTASTIC. I can be Hans!]

nde: He's busy working on this thing.

prettyprophet: Usagiten?

nde: This other thing.

prettyprophet: Oh god. Ok, let's talk about the Edy scenario itself. Basically your squad of six is on its own and you have to defend a town. Simple as that.

nde: If any enemy enters your base area, you lose.

prettyprophet: No retreat, no redeploy, no medics, no orders. Just what you got.

nde: I think default equipment and levels are transferred over from the main game.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I think so too, since I tried to give Lynn the badass machinegun but it didn't work. What we mean by default is whatever your levels are as of playing the DLC. Like, we'd cleared the game twice over, so we're maxed out...Edy's DLC wasn't as challenging as it may be for others thanks to that. Then again, I watched nde B-rank it first, so I figured out how to A-rank on my turn.

nde: As for Selvaria's...

prettyprophet: I used a guide for the second map. I was like, "Fuck, I'll just A-rank it first, get the machinegun."

nde: Somewhat somber. Melancholy.

prettyprophet: Hey, not with that one scene. Huh, wink, nudge?

nde: Hm?

prettyprophet: Don't tell me you missed that.

nde: Missed what?

Welkes is pretty hot...says Lavie

prettyprophet: I'll show you later. If you're a Selvaria fan, download this. I kinda am; the whole "oh I love you Max but I know you're just using me" is meh but fuck that, she's awesome. Really wish her boobs weren't designed for horndogs. And for our readers, nde just gave me one of his "you-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-I'm-thinking" looks because he thinks I'm about to go off on Valkyria's female character designs. I'm not. They're very fucking impractical. That's all I'm gonna say. That's all I have to say. Kid, shut the fuck up.

nde: I haven't played "Behind Her Blue Flames" yet. I watched.

prettyprophet: Think you'll A-rank?

nde: Maybe. Usually the easiest. But tactically unsound.

prettyprophet: And how. So that's nde and Prophet, giving you impressions on two of Valkyria Chronicles's DLC packs: "Enter the Edy Detachment" and "Behind Her Blue Flames". Didn't get the Hard-EX mode because we haven't even touched the hard skirmishes yet. I guess I'll get to that after I finish Absence of Justice.

nde: Maybe when it drops in price.

prettyprophet: They cost $5 a pack. Selvaria's is definitely worth it since it's more than one map and gives you a gun and further characterization...Hard-EX (or Hard-SEX as Funny loves to call it) we don't know about, maybe Funny or Pat bought it [funny edit: NAW SON......Pat's not getting it either because she suxxx at Valkyria! SUCKS FALDIO'S PENIS!] but since it changes up your tactics completely and gives you new weapons to use, it's got the most literal bang for your buck...and Edy, get only if you like those soldiers involved. Otherwise, pray that Sega decides to make more DLC with people you DO like.

nde: That probably depends on how many people buy the DLC though. Sadly.

prettyprophet: What are you complaining about? You got Susie and Marina. Don't try to hide your lust.

nde: Homer?

prettyprophet: I'd do him. But that'd be statutory rape. And he'd love it. Seriously though, Aika and Vyse. Let's get those Skies of Arcadia kids in and maybe Sega'll give us more rocked out RPGs like Nintendo did with Fire Emblem (even though I hate Roy, Marth, and Ike).

nde: I'm going to sleep.

prettyprophet: And I'M going to listen to Olivia's latest single, "Sailing Free", play more Valkyria, and whip Funny into cleaning.

nde: I think he's playing VC as well.

prettyprophet: Vietcong, The Other Side, Love Love Love, close your eyes, we're all under the same sky, you have me, whoever you are, I...love you...

nde: Not studying anymore?

prettyprophet: Hush.

The Art of Gallian War
Images from some MU link of the preorder artbook. Hey, send us Valkyria doujinshi. Seriously.


April 1, 2009

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - #0002

Yama Nyx, Datenshi Baphomet

"What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,
That he should weep for her? What would he do,
Had he the motive and the cue for passion
That I have? He would drown the stage with tears
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
Make mad the guilty and appal the free,
Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0002 - A Serpent Stung Me

funny_bunny: It's fun finals time! That means it's fun drawing time for me! But no one else is around because they're all study or not even in town! SOME ARE VERY VERY RESPONSIBLE AND SOME ARE VERY VERY BAD. But nde is here!

nde: Yeah.

funny_bunny: nde, are you sad that you have not made your appearance in megaten doujinshi yet?

nde: No. Prophet will figure something out.

funny_bunny: YOU won't figure something out?

nde: You know I can't write comedy.

funny_bunny: And you think ye wee sibling can?? YOU THINK I CAN? UNBELIEVABLE. Oh oh, so PP was the thinker behind this! Wait! Read ze comic before this point! No panel-panel-panel-panel breakdowns, just straight up chat-chit! Ok, MAU!

nde: Everyone wanted the summoner to be killed off early so all the demons could do anything they wanted.

funny_bunny: BUT HOW TO KILL?

nde: Then Prophet saw a bag of White Rabbit Candy that wasn't thrown out yet. So that was that.

funny_bunny: OBJECTION, cameo! That was for Aerith's Bitch, you rascal!

nde: I guess this one was self-explanatory.

funny_bunny: No REAL in-jokes here! Was SUPPOSED to be done AEONS ago. But I had to carefully hone my art to the point of perfection, as you may see here.

nde: I think people forgot about the contamination scandal by now.

funny_bunny: YOU didn't forget. MOI didn't forget!

nde: That's true.

funny_bunny: Usagiten! Melamine! Style from TOTAN KOBAKO! SKETCHBOOK!

nde: Maybe this and other projects will be worked on soon.

funny_bunny: NAAHHHHH. Too busy with SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF INKY.