prettyprophet: We figured since we've done enough of these 'reviews', 'roundtables', and whatever, it's about time for us to tell everyone our basic biases and preferred genres through lists, because, you know, lists REALLY tell you everything you need to know about a person, right? This first one only applies to GAMES though; it's the only thing all of the Thousand Rabbits are actually interested in together. Yeah, I know, movies, comics, books...but those tend to get pretty specific. Anyways, now you can pick whoever to read and ignore all those other cunts.
Something you should remember though:
Lavie Rhap usually does 'purchase guides'. Basically she's just talking about whether or not it's a good buy.
prettyprophet, aka me, usually does 'roundtables'. I either sit down with a couple of the others and we talk about whatever.....or I just get random thoughts from everyone and stitch a post together from that. Kinda like this one.
funny_bunny usually does...something. Sometimes he'll do straight-up reviews, sometimes he'll do nonsensical writings. We have no fucking clue.
...While nde, Pat, Ed and Ink don't write anything.
Anyways, here:
prettyprophet Will play: Anything Will enjoy: No clue Has: Atari, NES, GB, SNES, Genesis, Game Gear, PS1, N64, SS, GBA, DC, PS2, Xbox, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC Preferred system: DC Preferred genre: None Hated genre: None Platformer: Sonic series (Sonic the Hedgehog 2) Adventure: Phoenix Wright series (Ace Attorney) Action-Adventure: Shadow of the Colossus Fighter: Guilty Gear series (XX: The Midnight Carnival) Shooter: Panzer Dragoon series (Saga) Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II) FPS: Almost anything by Valve (Half-Life 2) RTS: Starcraft series TBS: Total War series (Medieval II) RPG: Baldur's Gate series (Baldur's Gate II) JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne) SRPG: Ogre series (Let Us Cling Together) Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah MMO: None (default Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine) Sim: Harvest Moon series (Whatever's recent, Tree of Tranquility) Puzzle: Bomberman series (64: The Second Attack) Rhythm: Audiosurf Racing: Burnout series (Whatever's recent) Sports: Whatever new and decent soccer game comes out Visual Novel: Crescendo Co-op: House of the Dead II Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl) Music: Shoji Meguro (Megaten) Art: Hyung-tae Kim (War of Genesis, Magna Carta) Story: Megaten (Nocturne) Most beloved: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Starcraft, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
prettyprophet: Sonic 2 was the first co-op game I played, Starcraft is the lifeline of any Asian who plays games, and Megaten, FUCK YES.
nde Will play: Anything Will enjoy: Indeterminable Has: Anything Prophet has (owns most of them) Preferred system: PS2 Preferred genre: None Hated genre: None Platformer: Sonic series (Sonic the Hedgehog 2) Adventure: The Longest Journey Action-Adventure: ICO Fighter: Guilty Gear series (XX: The Midnight Carnival) Shooter: Panzer Dragoon series (Saga) Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II) FPS: Breakdown RTS: Starcraft series TBS: Romance of the Three Kingdoms series (ROTK XI) RPG: Baldur's Gate series (Baldur's Gate II) JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne) SRPG: Ogre series (Knights of Lodis) Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah MMO: None Sim: Harvest Moon series (A Wonderful Life) Puzzle: Tetris (GB) Rhythm: DJ Max series (DJ Max Portable 2) Racing: Burnout series (Whatever's recent) Sports: None Visual Novel: None Co-op: House of the Dead II Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl) Music: Ko Otani (Shadow of the Colossus) Art: Kazuma Kaneko (Megaten) Story: Megaten (Nocturne) Most beloved: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Starcraft, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
nde: My interests are similar to Prophet's.
Lavie Rhap Will play: Anything Will enjoy: Indeterminable Has: Genesis, GBA, DC, DS, Wii, PC Preferred system: PC Preferred genre: Anything with historical background Hated genre: None Platformer: Mario series (Super Mario 3) Adventure: The past glory of Lucasarts Action-Adventure: Zelda series (Link's Awakening) Fighter: The Last Blade series (The Last Blade 2) Shooter: Karous Light-gun: Time Crisis series (Time Crisis 2) FPS: Halo series (Halo) RTS: C&C (Red Alert 2) TBS: Total War series (Rome) RPG: Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura JRPG: Shadow Hearts series (Shadow Hearts: Covenant) SRPG: Valkyria Chronicles Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah MMO: None Sim: Harvest Moon series (Friends of Mineral Town) Puzzle: Brain Age Rhythm: Guitar Hero series (first one) Racing: None Sports: Wii Sports Visual Novel: None Co-op: Trauma Center: New Blood Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl) Music: Yasunori Mitsuda (Chrono Cross, Xenogears) Art: Range Murata (Spy Fiction, Power Instinct) Story: Grim Fandango Most beloved: Grim Fandango, Rome: Total War, Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town
Lavie Rhap: I actually don't play games all that much; I must admit that my tastes have been somewhat shaped by Prophet, Pat, and nde.
Kawaii Pattycakes Will play: Anything that's Asian Will enjoy: Anything that's Asian Has: NES, GB, SNES, GBC, Genesis, PS1, N64, SS, GBA, DC, PS2, GC, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC Preferred system: Asian ones Preferred genre: JRPG Hated genre: RPG Platformer: Castlevania series (Symphony of the Night) Adventure: Trace Memory Action-Adventure: Ys series (Eternal) Fighter: Super Smash (BRAWL) Shooter: Rez Light-gun: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles FPS: Dark Messiah aka Hellnight RTS: GrimGrimoire TBS: THAT'S THE SAME AS TACTICS...so I'll say Front Mission! RPG: NOTHING...Sudeki! JRPG: Megaten - Persona line (Persona 4) SRPG: Anything from Nippon Ichi (Disgaea) Scary: Fatal Frame series (Crimson Butterfly) MMO: None (default Silkroad) Sim: Harvest Moon series - Rune Factory line (Rune Factory) Puzzle: Professor Layton (Curious Village) Rhythm: DDR (ALL) Racing: Initial D: Street Stage Sports: Any Prince of Tennis Visual Novel: ANY WITH BEAUTIFUL BOYS Co-op: Super Smash (Brawl) Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl) Music: Hitoshi Sakimoto (FFXII, Valkyria Chronicles) Art: Shigenori Soejima (Stella Deus, Trauma Center: New Blood, Persona 4) Story: Megaten (Persona 4) Most beloved: Ys: I&II Eternal, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly
Kawaii Pattycakes: I dunno what to say! Games make everything happy!
edthefucker Will play: Anything Will enjoy: Nothing Has: NES, GB, N64, DC, PS2, DS, 360, PS3, PC Preferred system: PC Preferred genre: FPS Hated genre: Most RPGs and JRPGs Platformer: Contra III Adventure: None Action-Adventure: X-Men Legends II Fighter: Super Smash (N64) Shooter: Cho Aniki Light-gun: House of the Dead III (arcade only) FPS: Quake III RTS: Starcraft TBS: Advance Wars (Dual Strike) RPG: Diablo series (newest) JRPG: Megaten (but not really) SRPG: None Scary: None (they aren't scary) MMO: Silkroad Sim: Cooking Mama Puzzle: Big Brain Academy Rhythm: DDR (ALL) Racing: Cruis'n USA Sports: Any NBA Street Visual Novel: Name the most fucked up one you've seen Co-op: Silk Co-hate: Silk Music: Silk Art: Silk Story: Silk Most beloved: Silk
edthefucker: Silk, bitches.
Killer Ink Will play: Stuff that has a distinct visual style Will enjoy: Things that he can interpret Has: PS2, PC Preferred system: None Preferred genre: ??? Hated genre: Sports Platformer: Odin Sphere Adventure: ICO Action-Adventure: Okami Fighter: None Shooter: Ikaruga Light-gun: None FPS: killer7 RTS: None TBS: None RPG: None JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne) SRPG: None Scary: The Lost Crown MMO: None Sim: Spore Puzzle: None Rhythm: Audiosurf Racing: None Sports: None Visual Novel: None Co-op: None Co-hate: None Music: Masafumi Takada (killer7, No More Heroes) Art: Kazuma Kaneko (Megaten) Story: ICO Most beloved: ICO, No More Heroes, Okami
Killer Ink: As long as I want to look at it.
funny_bunny Will play: Indeterminable Will enjoy: Indeterminable Has: Atari, NES, GB, Game Gear, N64, DC, PS2, Xbox, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC Preferred system: ALL Preferred genre: ALL Hated genre: ALL...especially VISUAL NOVELS Platformer: Metal Slug series (ALL) Adventure: Sam & Max (Hit the Road) Action-Adventure: Disaster Report series (first one!) Fighter: Capcom vs. SNK 2 Shooter: The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II) FPS: Oblivion RTS: Starcraft TBS: TOTAL WAR RPG: Planescape: Torment JRPG: MEGATEN SRPG: BRING BACK THE SHINING Scary: Rule of Rose MMO:Granado Espada Sim: Persona 4 Puzzle: DJ Max Portable 2 Rhythm: Saints Row 2 Racing: Ridge Racer PSP Sports: THE IDOLM@STER: Missing Moon Visual Novel: NEVER Co-op: Left 4 Dead Co-hate: BRAWL Music: Shoji Meguro (MEGATEN) Art: YOU ASK TOO MUCH [prophet edit: hey, fuck you. Even Pat had to choose.] Story: Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard Most beloved: Shin Megami Tensei, Shin Megami Tensei II, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
funny_bunny: BE YOUR TRUE GAME.
++++++++
prettyprophet: And that's us. Course, these lists are prone to change at any given time, so.....yeah, have fun figuring that out.
So here we are with our set of awards: The Respectable Rabbit Rewards...the Pleinnies. As always, our judgment bears hefty weight and surpasses all other critics by leaps and bounds. There ARE some notable exclusions that aren't even mentioned: LittleBigPlanet...and basically anything that was 360 only. None of the Thousand Rabbits have a 360. Deal with it. Some things we just didn't get a chance to play much...and the rest we just didn't give a fuck about. Again, deal. Anyways, let's set it off.
++++++
Most Fuckable Female; Not Love, but Fuck
edthefucker: That what's-that-bitch's-name from that ocean shit. Had that lifejacket. Definitely a fucking closet freak. Dolphin fucker fo sho. [Endless Ocean]
Kawaii Pattycakes:DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI.[No More Heroes]
Killer Ink: Wouldn't know.
funny_bunny:ROSIE. God, I HEART YOU ROSIE! All that running around must give you SUCH a toned body! You can blitz me any day~ [Valkyria Chronicles]
Lavie Rhap: I assume we must choose new characters, or at the very least, re-imagining of old characters, making the cast of Super Smash Bros. Brawl disqualified by default. I'll have to go with Lea Nichols. But that makes me sound like some sort of creepy voyeur, doesn't it? [The Experiment]
nde: I don't know.
prettyprophet: Well, this is a hard choice purely because there's been so many games where you DO FUCK other characters: Tree of Tranquility, P4. Therefore they're obviously fuckable. I can't do the obvious; that's such a cop-out. Most fuckable of 2008: Sylvia Christel, that fucking loon. [No More Heroes]
funny_bunny: I want to get inside Teddie and grope his stuffing out. [Persona 4]
Lavie Rhap:Kanji Tatsumi. While Teddie's winning charm is understandable and has consumed several Rabbits, I find Kanji's blending of embarrassment and bluster very endearing. Kanji, let's talk again in a few years, ok? [Persona 4]
nde: I don't know.
prettyprophet:Mao. That kid needs a good fucking. [Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice]
Most Wanted to Drown in the Depths of Obscurity So We Don't Have to Hear Anymore Idiotic Fan Arguments/Masturbation Sessions
edthefucker:Persona 4. Jesus, shut the fuck up.
Kawaii Pattycakes:Fallout 3 is GROSS.
Killer Ink:Left 4 Dead.
funny_bunny:Persona 4! Like, get over it, YOU MEGATEN LOSERS.
Lavie Rhap: Frankly, no fanbase for specific games bothers me. Console discussion is more upsetting.
nde:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
prettyprophet:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Ew.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Persona 4. Look Atlus, where's the fucking SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI IV? Don't go pulling a "let's wait until the next generation for the next core series release" shit. Oh also, MGS4 never ceases to piss us off.
++++++
Most Likely to Transplant Self Into
edthefucker:Valkyria Chronicles. Show you how to do a genocide right.
Kawaii Pattycakes:PERSONA 4 means LOTS OF SEXY SHOUNEN.
Killer Ink: I'd like to do paintings of sea life one day. So Endless Ocean.
funny_bunny:Siren: Blood Curse: so I can FIGHT ZOMBIES and EAT MEATLOAF.
Lavie Rhap: Farming in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Ah, the pastoral life!
nde:Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. City suffocates.
prettyprophet:Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI. I made myself in it and I'm a general of Wei. Fuck, if only I could do a coup...
1000 Rabbit Consensus: Technically the Thousand Rabbits have already been put into three games: Etrian Odyssey 2: Heroes of Lagaard, Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI, and Valhalla Knights 2. But for flavor's sake, we all would fit into Persona 4...probably even more than Persona 3. Funny's definitely Teddie, Pat's Rise, Ed's the TRUE KILLER, Ink's Naoto, Lavie's Margaret, nde's the main character again, and I, prophet, would probably end up taking Chie's role. You know, we've actually designated Funbuns' name as the main character's due to his hair, only for that idiot to have it cut. Funny, you fucked it up and now the main character LOOKS LIKE NOBODY.
++++++
Most Educational Game That Can Be Applied to Our Daily Lives
edthefucker:Spore shows that there's no god. Hey Christfuckers, suck on those nuts.
Kawaii Pattycakes:Persona 4 taught me to be smart and diligent and understanding and expressive and brave! Then everyone likes you and wants to CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Killer Ink: As Persona 4 displays, even Shadows can gain souls.
funny_bunny: I learned to be responsible and family-ness in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Then I learned that we must cross blades on the STAGE OF HISTORY. Then I learned that THE SHADOW SELF MUST BE ACCEPTED.
Lavie Rhap: I found through Left 4 Dead that our teamwork needs dire improving.
nde: Sharks and eels won't attack you in Endless Ocean.
prettyprophet:Valkyria Chronicles, as far as I can tell, is the only game to make a blatant comparison with the Holocaust. Guys, let's start making games that deal with racism in a less clumsy way.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Persona 4. Who hasn't dealt with their dark side? Check this shit out, you face your other self and boom, you'll be able to summon demons, solve murder-mysteries, and score with a ton of people who barely know you.
++++++
Most Disappointing Game That We Knew Would Be Disappointing
edthefucker:Persona 4 is shit just like Persona 3. It's all mainstream bullshit. Fuck those bitches.
Kawaii Pattycakes:Fallout 3? THAT'S AN INSULT TO RPGS.
Killer Ink:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Epic, sure. Like Michael Bay.
funny_bunny:Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King...WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO LISTEN TO PAT??? THAT FIEND.
Lavie Rhap: I was interested in Fallout 3 but at the same time quite wary. By the time I paid attention to it again, it had been released for a month. All in all, a lukewarm experience.
nde:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
prettyprophet:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Man, Hayter, you must have been pissed to deal with all that shit.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots sucked because it was an over-indulgent by-the-numbers wrap-up. Art? Fuck you. Oh ok, let us make some fifteen minute cutscenes of silted action where nothing really happens and when stuff does happen you feel so goddamn impotent, not because you're a decrepit geezer, but because the game just won't let you put a bullet in Ocelot's head since he has to keep talking and make stupid gestures. We had a feeling all this would happen and lo, it fucking did. Were any of us surprised? Hey, the ending sure was a surprise. They found a way to drag it out even longer and that was UNCANNY. Bravo.
++++++
Most Disappointing Game That Sucker Punched Us in the Solar Plexus
edthefucker: None. It's all shit.
Kawaii Pattycakes:Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice. MAO CANNOT COMPARE TO LAHARL. And I hate his glasses!
Killer Ink:Baroque. Too clumsy.
funny_bunny:Dokapon Kingdom: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS. BUT IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOW. Destroyed patience!
Lavie Rhap: I'd have to say Spore due to how simplistic everything before the space era felt. Things also become monotonous rather quickly if one does not develop non-in-game goals.
nde:Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. I wasn't really surprised though.
prettyprophet:Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness. Seriously could not play it. Fuck that stylus.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Hey, none of us were expecting a new game; fighters are probably the least likely to go through any major changes. It's just that for all the delays...it wasn't enough. But it's still the group game of choice and the cutscenes in it beat the piss out of MGS4.
+++++
Most Awesome Game That We Knew Would be Awesome
edthefucker: None. It's all shit.
Kawaii Pattycakes:PERSONA 4.
Killer Ink:Persona 4.
funny_bunny: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: RING OF FATES.
Lavie Rhap: Personally, due to the sheer audience good-will, Persona 4 would be my choice. However, I simply cannot ignore Sins of a Solar Empire, which is my strategy, as well as overall, game of the year.
nde: I liked Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility but since there were bugs, I'm going Persona 4. But in truth, bugs were expected.
prettyprophet:Valkyria Chronicles. Yeah, I don't think I need to pimp out P4 anymore so here's to Squad 7.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Valkyria Chronicles. Whoa, what the fuck? Not P4? Nah, fuck that, it's a sequel. We're going to reward some originality here; from SEGA, thank the fucking Moon Rabbit. C'mon guys, with HotD: Overkill and a SHINING SRPG...DON'T FUCK IT UP. Anyways, Valkyria. Persona. Get both or fuck off.
++++++
Most Awesome Game That Was Totally Inconceivable
edthefucker: None. It's all shit.
Kawaii Pattycakes:Left 4 Dead I really liked! BUT I DON'T PLAY FPS??
Killer Ink:Audiosurf. Addictive.
funny_bunny:Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core! Playing it was FUN. DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING ELSE LIKE THAT BASTARD SEPHIROTH OR GACKT-FACE. Nonetheless, moi liked a FF game?? WORLD'S END IS NIGH.
Lavie Rhap: I didn't know a thing about Theresia and I'm very glad I didn't. Should be rather cheap compared to other DS titles; get it without reading any reviews!
nde:Prince of Persia. Reminds me of ICO.
prettyprophet:The World Ends With You...HOLY SHIT. A SQUARE GAME. Yeah, that's fucking right. No playa hate here, it's all about the games.
1000 Rabbit Consensus:Persona 4. To be completely honest, none of us expected this to be on par with P3. Rush-job to play off the fans. We were wrong and it made P3 look like crap. Props yo.
++++++
Blah blah, here's the usual list of awards:
Best Action: Prince of Persia Best FPS: Left 4 Dead Best Light-Gun: The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return Best Shooter: (none of us played Space Invaders Get Even yet but let's just assume it's awesome) Best Platformer: Bionic Commando Rearmed Best Sandbox: Yakuza 2 Best Fighter: Soul Calibur IV Best Adventure: A Vampyre Story Best RTS: Sins of a Solar Empire Best RPG: Persona 4 Best Turn-based: Valkyria Chronicles Best MMO: Shin Megami Tensei: IMAGINE (default win due to none of us playing new MMOs) Best Racer: Need for Speed: Undercover (default win, only one all of us played; PS: it's shit) Best Sports: Wii Fit (default win, also shit) Best Scary Shit: Theresia Best Rhythm: Patapon Best Sim: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility Best Visual Novel: (Funny: BOLLOCKS TO THAT) Best Puzzle: Professor Layton and the Curious Village
Because we unravelled the candles' flames! Because we won't leave the secret there forever! Because we want sashay and dance eternal! Because we'll watch the world's end supernova!
Because we're Rabbits.
About?
I love cute things and pretty things and megaten and artbooks and figures and bunnies and I can't draw but I can copy. I hate nothingness.
I'm funny_bunny the Internet pixie.
chieffunbuns[at]gmail[dot]com
1000 Rabbits?
Kawaii Pattycakes gyrates in agonizing lust whenever a beautiful boy cosplays Rosiel of Angel Sanctuary. nde dreams of chaos and law and romance. Killer Ink peers into souls and extracts their essence for cash money. funny_bunny cries himself to death and laughs himself to life. Lavie Rhap bakes cakes for all the girls and boys who debate about the Console Wars. edthefucker never seeds his torrents and sneaks scat porn onto unattended laptops. prettyprophet frees Tibet everyday and predicts a new cultural revolution.
Liberty, lunacy, and love…the Thousand Rabbits provides.
