Rabbit Roundtable: Valkyria Profile ~ On the DLC Front

VALKYRIA DLC ATTACKS.

prettyprophet: It fucking rocks. If you have Valkyria, get it. If you don't, get a PS3, get Valkyria, then download it.

nde: They should probably beat it first.

prettyprophet: Yeah, probably. So I've got a final tomorrow...fuck that, I played Selvaria's AND Edy's DLC. They're both awesome. I know, $5, that's a little steep...but it's Valkyria. And if this encourages Sega to make more (SKIES OF MOTHERFUCKING ARCADIA), I'm gonna toss 'em bones. SHUT IT YOU CUNTS, I did study, I'll be fine, SHUT IT FUNNY, KEEP CLEANING ACONY, YOU'RE DONE, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES.

nde: I bought the Edy Detachment DLC. Prophet bought Selvaria's.

prettyprophet: I was iffy on Edy since it's only one map compared to Selvaria's...maps. I don't want to spoil anything, so whatever. Anyways, nde wanted to chip in on VC stuff since I was the one who paid for the whole game; I was going to buy Selvaria regardless. You get a MG if you A-rank all of her's...nothing if you A-rank Edy.

nde: For Edy, different endings for different ranks.

prettyprophet: Technically both DLC's are fanservice filled...but Edy's is total fanservice. I'm not talking upskirt shit; just clean fun. So if you like Edy (minor spoilers), Homer, Lynn, Susie, Jann, and Marina, you'll love this DLC. Homer and Marina. They're great. Jann? Japanese makeup-wearing bears? Little too obvious.

nde: Homer has subtlety, then?

prettyprophet: Hold up, I can't believe we haven't talked about this yet: Rabbits in Valkyria, who would we be? Actually fuck that, we could just be ourselves.

nde: No, Lavie talked about this.

prettyprophet: When the hell was that?

nde: Some time ago.



prettyprophet: We need to get Funny to draw some shit. Too bad it'll suck. [funny edit: nonsense, IT'LL BE FANTASTIC. I can be Hans!]

nde: He's busy working on this thing.

prettyprophet: Usagiten?

nde: This other thing.

prettyprophet: Oh god. Ok, let's talk about the Edy scenario itself. Basically your squad of six is on its own and you have to defend a town. Simple as that.

nde: If any enemy enters your base area, you lose.

prettyprophet: No retreat, no redeploy, no medics, no orders. Just what you got.

nde: I think default equipment and levels are transferred over from the main game.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I think so too, since I tried to give Lynn the badass machinegun but it didn't work. What we mean by default is whatever your levels are as of playing the DLC. Like, we'd cleared the game twice over, so we're maxed out...Edy's DLC wasn't as challenging as it may be for others thanks to that. Then again, I watched nde B-rank it first, so I figured out how to A-rank on my turn.

nde: As for Selvaria's...

prettyprophet: I used a guide for the second map. I was like, "Fuck, I'll just A-rank it first, get the machinegun."

nde: Somewhat somber. Melancholy.

prettyprophet: Hey, not with that one scene. Huh, wink, nudge?

nde: Hm?

prettyprophet: Don't tell me you missed that.

nde: Missed what?



prettyprophet: I'll show you later. If you're a Selvaria fan, download this. I kinda am; the whole "oh I love you Max but I know you're just using me" is meh but fuck that, she's awesome. Really wish her boobs weren't designed for horndogs. And for our readers, nde just gave me one of his "you-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-I'm-thinking" looks because he thinks I'm about to go off on Valkyria's female character designs. I'm not. They're very fucking impractical. That's all I'm gonna say. That's all I have to say. Kid, shut the fuck up.

nde: I haven't played "Behind Her Blue Flames" yet. I watched.

prettyprophet: Think you'll A-rank?

nde: Maybe. Usually the easiest. But tactically unsound.

prettyprophet: And how. So that's nde and Prophet, giving you impressions on two of Valkyria Chronicles's DLC packs: "Enter the Edy Detachment" and "Behind Her Blue Flames". Didn't get the Hard-EX mode because we haven't even touched the hard skirmishes yet. I guess I'll get to that after I finish Absence of Justice.

nde: Maybe when it drops in price.

prettyprophet: They cost $5 a pack. Selvaria's is definitely worth it since it's more than one map and gives you a gun and further characterization...Hard-EX (or Hard-SEX as Funny loves to call it) we don't know about, maybe Funny or Pat bought it [funny edit: NAW SON......Pat's not getting it either because she suxxx at Valkyria! SUCKS FALDIO'S PENIS!] but since it changes up your tactics completely and gives you new weapons to use, it's got the most literal bang for your buck...and Edy, get only if you like those soldiers involved. Otherwise, pray that Sega decides to make more DLC with people you DO like.

nde: That probably depends on how many people buy the DLC though. Sadly.

prettyprophet: What are you complaining about? You got Susie and Marina. Don't try to hide your lust.

nde: Homer?

prettyprophet: I'd do him. But that'd be statutory rape. And he'd love it. Seriously though, Aika and Vyse. Let's get those Skies of Arcadia kids in and maybe Sega'll give us more rocked out RPGs like Nintendo did with Fire Emblem (even though I hate Roy, Marth, and Ike).

nde: I'm going to sleep.

prettyprophet: And I'M going to listen to Olivia's latest single, "Sailing Free", play more Valkyria, and whip Funny into cleaning.

nde: I think he's playing VC as well.

prettyprophet: Vietcong, The Other Side, Love Love Love, close your eyes, we're all under the same sky, you have me, whoever you are, I...love you...

nde: Not studying anymore?

prettyprophet: Hush.


Images from some MU link of the preorder artbook. Hey, send us Valkyria doujinshi. Seriously.

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - #0002

"What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,
That he should weep for her? What would he do,
Had he the motive and the cue for passion
That I have? He would drown the stage with tears
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
Make mad the guilty and appal the free,
Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0002 - A Serpent Stung Me

funny_bunny: It's fun finals time! That means it's fun drawing time for me! But no one else is around because they're all study or not even in town! SOME ARE VERY VERY RESPONSIBLE AND SOME ARE VERY VERY BAD. But nde is here!

nde: Yeah.

funny_bunny: nde, are you sad that you have not made your appearance in megaten doujinshi yet?

nde: No. Prophet will figure something out.

funny_bunny: YOU won't figure something out?

nde: You know I can't write comedy.

funny_bunny: And you think ye wee sibling can?? YOU THINK I CAN? UNBELIEVABLE. Oh oh, so PP was the thinker behind this! Wait! Read ze comic before this point! No panel-panel-panel-panel breakdowns, just straight up chat-chit! Ok, MAU!

nde: Everyone wanted the summoner to be killed off early so all the demons could do anything they wanted.

funny_bunny: BUT HOW TO KILL?

nde: Then Prophet saw a bag of White Rabbit Candy that wasn't thrown out yet. So that was that.

funny_bunny: OBJECTION, cameo! That was for Aerith's Bitch, you rascal!

nde: I guess this one was self-explanatory.

funny_bunny: No REAL in-jokes here! Was SUPPOSED to be done AEONS ago. But I had to carefully hone my art to the point of perfection, as you may see here.

nde: I think people forgot about the contamination scandal by now.

funny_bunny: YOU didn't forget. MOI didn't forget!

nde: That's true.

funny_bunny: Usagiten! Melamine! Style from TOTAN KOBAKO! SKETCHBOOK!

nde: Maybe this and other projects will be worked on soon.

funny_bunny: NAAHHHHH. Too busy with SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF INKY.

Rabbit Roundtable: Persona 4 - Find Your True Pairing

"Heartbeat, Heartbeat, it keeps on pounding
Heartbreak, Heartbreak, you tell me goodbye
Heartbeat, Heartbeat, it keeps on pounding
Heartbreak, Heartbreak, you tell me goodbye"

We need some more girl protagonists, yo. MASSIVE SPOILERS INSIDE.

Wassup kids, it's Prophet and I am here to finally give you our thoughts on Persona 4. "Whoa, you guys are fucking late to the party. Half-assed Megaten fans you are." First of all, fuck you. As Ed says, "Any Megaten fan that likes Persona is a fake bitch." Therefore, none of us are really Megaten fans at all. Second of all, fuck Ed. The only reason it's taken this long for us (as in, me) to write anything is because we never would have written anything. What can we say? It's Persona 4, it's better than Persona 3 in...lots of levels, and I hope the next Megaten they're doing is part of the core series.

However, because I'm trying to avoid work (both school and Rabbit stuff) I'm going to personally write up some things. Expect random bits of input from random bits of Rabbits (the ones that cleared the game, that is). If for some reason the MASSIVE SPOILERS/TRUE ENDING tag hasn't scared you off and you haven't beat P4 yet...GET THE FUCK OUT.



They're gone? Alright, let's set this off:

Love. That's what we're going to talk about. To be precise...TRUE LOVE. As in, TRUE PAIRINGS. I know, this is kinda obsessive, this thing we have...but pairing people up is just NECESSARY. Don't ask why. But I'm not talking bullshit fan-fantasy pairings, like Koromaru and what's-her-face-teacher-Hermit-arcana. I'm talking actual "this is how it may as well be" ones. P3 was more rigid in this: obviously it was Yukari the Protagonist was supposed to go for; yeah, yeah, everyone fell in love with Mitsuru and Aigis but canon-wise, it's clearly Yukari. P4? Not so much...which is A LOT more fan-fantasy friendly and leaves it to your imagination. That said, I felt P4 was weaker on terms of "let's have a happy couple relationship" not because the Protagonist didn't click with X girl...but because there was someone BETTER for her to be with. Sidenote: we're ignoring most of the secondary characters for sake of focusing on the main ones. Anyways, we're going to get back to me and start off with nde:

nde's Perspective

Hetero
Chie and Yosuke: They meshed well.
Yukiko and Teddie: He'll be taken care of.
Naoto and Kanji: Fitting.
Rise and Protagonist: I ended up choosing this path.

Homo
Teddie and Protagonist: Blatant.

[prophet sez: He actually has some VERY risque things to add as well but he's a coward so he won't say it here. Funny will probably get to it.]



Lavie Rhap's Perspective

For the heterosexual relationships, I felt that the lack of a major plot point involving romances was a detriment, on terms of having a 'love story'. Persona 3's Yukari and Aigis especially stand out; Elizabeth's departure from the Velvet Room also stays with me. Persona 4 was more friendship-based, so I found it difficult to imagine 'proper' romances. Perhaps it was only me, but I saw much of our own interactions; to inexpertly shove a hackneyed 'epic' romance into Persona 4 would be folly. These are only teenagers, after all, within a period spanning one year. But since I am being pressed to provide my own interpretations on what may as well have occurred...

Naoto and Kanji are the most obvious of the pairings and provides the most humorous speculations of what may happen next in such a relationship. Yosuke and Chie's love-hate bickering was most enjoyable; I was reminded of Prophet and Ed (sorry, Pat!). Everything else is...rather open. I personally chose Ai to be with the main character; after all, who doesn't want to express their true self? Blending one's own experiences with gaming do make for a more interesting time. Now, while I can understand the undercurrent of homosexuality, only in Kanji's case does it become pronounced. As I've stated before, friendship takes priority over romance in Persona 4.



Kawaii Pattycakes' Perspective

[prophet sez: She doesn't get anything because she loves them all. ALL (with emphasis on Teddie and the Protagonist). So we'll let Funny handle this too, because as rambling as he can be, I'll make him be brief.

Oh, and she chose Naoto. "Because she's the closest to bish." Go figure.]



edthefucker's Perspective

That cousin and that uncle, where's the hentai for that shit? FUCKIN' A. [prophet/Pat/funny sez: DIE.]



Killer Ink's Perspective

I haven't played it. I'm not going to. [prophet/Pat/funny sez: LOSER.]



funny_bunny's Perspective

I wholeheartedly agree with nde! On the straight dealies, that is. Permit me to elaborate! Ok, see, Rise and the Protagonist are PERFECT for each other because they'll meet again MUCH easier! Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but what of the star-crossed love of a STAR and a COMMONER? But of course, the TRUE LOVE is that between the Protagonist and...IZANAMI.

Fufufu, but can I neglect the HOMOEROTIC FUN? Nay, I shant...for I declare: ALL MALE SOCIAL LINKS ARE FILLED WITH SEXY.



prettyprophet's Perspective

The Protagonist of P4 is a total player. That said, my view on all this is more or less a mix of everyone else's views. Even though the 'love' deal is a pretty big part of this game, it's not; friendship, motherfuckers. Out of everyone, there is no 'this is our destiny' sorta shit. There's just a whole lotta implied and 'up-to-your-imagination'. I'm still going to put P4 above P3 because P3 played more to the stock types: Yukari = normal girl, Mitsuru = regal girl, Fuuka = gentle girl, Aigis = robot girl. Like, face it, P3's social links were all, "The fuck am I doing talking to this guy?" P4 got around this by having fewer non-essentials (Death link I'm not convinced on) and my personal favorite link, the Hanged Man. It wasn't just some random person; Naoki was and will be affected by you, the player. Now I'm not saying the P4 characters weren't all types...but we were technically getting two characters for every one: shadows, yo. Look at Kanji: he's a tough guy and a softie. Or Sayoko, crazy pervert nurse that's actually dedicated to her work. See? I'm not going to declare this the most realistic game since...Cho Aniki, but the characters are at least more believable. I will say this though: this is NOT the second coming of Christ for videogame characters. Just because they have shadow sides doesn't make P4 the equivalent of Godfather; hell, it's not even Fight Club. People have more than just a shadow. A lot more. Remember that shit.



All in all, I was very happy with P4 and I would seriously like to see doujinshi for every single pairing. Again, no bullshit pairings, just actual, 'this is what may as well have happened' pairings, like the Protagonist with...practically everyone. I will disagree with nde, Lavie, Pat, Funny...Chie and Yosuke don't work. Friends yeah, sexing each other up? I can't see it. Besides, we all know that Yosuke's had that thing for Saki, even if she never would've reciprocated. Naoto and Kanji are a given. But Lavie's right, it's all so open. And for the gay POV? Trojan finally got far enough to say something and here are his words of wisdom: "Hey, you know I love Ted...and Daisuke and Kou? Threesome time! But I liked the one with Naoki best. That was pretty sweet." Word up. I don't feel the sexual myself in that one, but I can understand it.

I ended up pairing together Yukiko and the Protagonist because...well, I got to see Naoto's and Rise's thanks to Pat and Funny. No one was doing Yukiko, so I was like, what the fuck, she's cool. I think she's the only girl character where the Protagonist actually gets to spend time alone with in story-related cutscenes...ok, maybe I'm mixing it up with social links, but I figure these two have the most potential for a long-term relationship. But ultimately...I'm going to have to go with Funny and restate the Protagonist x Izanami connection. Well...that's kinda TOO poetic, so fuck it.



So there, that's how we feel about a good number of the P4 relationships. I know, we didn't touch on everything. GO YELL ABOUT IT ON OUR FORUMS AKA THE REVOLUTION. Hey Atlus, next Persona, give us girl protagonists! Don't you think it's our turn to shop for some love? BRING ON THE BOYS.









All images from BE YOUR TRUE MIND.

Rabbit Roundtable: First Annual Videogame Awards 2008 Edition - The Pleinnies

So here we are with our set of awards: The Respectable Rabbit Rewards...the Pleinnies. As always, our judgment bears hefty weight and surpasses all other critics by leaps and bounds. There ARE some notable exclusions that aren't even mentioned: LittleBigPlanet...and basically anything that was 360 only. None of the Thousand Rabbits have a 360. Deal with it. Some things we just didn't get a chance to play much...and the rest we just didn't give a fuck about. Again, deal. Anyways, let's set it off.

++++++

Most Fuckable Female; Not Love, but Fuck

edthefucker: That what's-that-bitch's-name from that ocean shit. Had that lifejacket. Definitely a fucking closet freak. Dolphin fucker fo sho. [Endless Ocean]

Kawaii Pattycakes: DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI. [No More Heroes]

Killer Ink: Wouldn't know.

funny_bunny: ROSIE. God, I HEART YOU ROSIE! All that running around must give you SUCH a toned body! You can blitz me any day~ [Valkyria Chronicles]

Lavie Rhap: I assume we must choose new characters, or at the very least, re-imagining of old characters, making the cast of Super Smash Bros. Brawl disqualified by default. I'll have to go with Lea Nichols. But that makes me sound like some sort of creepy voyeur, doesn't it? [The Experiment]

nde: I don't know.

prettyprophet: Well, this is a hard choice purely because there's been so many games where you DO FUCK other characters: Tree of Tranquility, P4. Therefore they're obviously fuckable. I can't do the obvious; that's such a cop-out. Most fuckable of 2008: Sylvia Christel, that fucking loon. [No More Heroes]



1000 Rabbit Consensus: The ladies of No More Heroes.

++++++

Most Fuckable Male; Not Love, but Fuck

edthefucker: That fucking bitch cousin in GTA . Fuck him. [Grand Theft Auto IV]

Kawaii Pattycakes: TEDDIE. TEDDIE. TEDDIE. [Persona 4]

Killer Ink: Wouldn't know.

funny_bunny: I want to get inside Teddie and grope his stuffing out. [Persona 4]

Lavie Rhap: Kanji Tatsumi. While Teddie's winning charm is understandable and has consumed several Rabbits, I find Kanji's blending of embarrassment and bluster very endearing. Kanji, let's talk again in a few years, ok? [Persona 4]

nde: I don't know.

prettyprophet: Mao. That kid needs a good fucking. [Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice]



1000 Rabbit Consensus: The boys of Persona 4.

++++++

Most Fan-Fantasy Friendly



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Not only is there no argument but there's also no other alternatives. It's Persona-fucking-4. Does ANYTHING surpass the overall good will possessed by this semi-dating-sim? You've got Yosuke x Chie, Yukiko x Teddie, Kanji x Naoto, main character x anyone, schoolgirl idols, lolipop cousins (ain't that great, you incest-loving fucks?), rugged detective uncles (EVEN BETTER INCEST), neglected mothers, devilish nurses, the Strength threesome, the ever-hot Margaret, and MORE. It'd be easy to blame Pat, Ed, and Funny for infesting our minds with filth, but seriously, those developers? They fucking knew what they were doing. They knew.

++++++

Most Wanted to Drown in the Depths of Obscurity So We Don't Have to Hear Anymore Idiotic Fan Arguments/Masturbation Sessions

edthefucker: Persona 4. Jesus, shut the fuck up.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Fallout 3 is GROSS.

Killer Ink: Left 4 Dead.

funny_bunny: Persona 4! Like, get over it, YOU MEGATEN LOSERS.

Lavie Rhap: Frankly, no fanbase for specific games bothers me. Console discussion is more upsetting.

nde: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

prettyprophet: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Ew.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. Look Atlus, where's the fucking SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI IV? Don't go pulling a "let's wait until the next generation for the next core series release" shit. Oh also, MGS4 never ceases to piss us off.

++++++

Most Likely to Transplant Self Into

edthefucker: Valkyria Chronicles. Show you how to do a genocide right.

Kawaii Pattycakes: PERSONA 4 means LOTS OF SEXY SHOUNEN.

Killer Ink: I'd like to do paintings of sea life one day. So Endless Ocean.

funny_bunny: Siren: Blood Curse: so I can FIGHT ZOMBIES and EAT MEATLOAF.

Lavie Rhap: Farming in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Ah, the pastoral life!

nde: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. City suffocates.

prettyprophet: Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI. I made myself in it and I'm a general of Wei. Fuck, if only I could do a coup...



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Technically the Thousand Rabbits have already been put into three games: Etrian Odyssey 2: Heroes of Lagaard, Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI, and Valhalla Knights 2. But for flavor's sake, we all would fit into Persona 4...probably even more than Persona 3. Funny's definitely Teddie, Pat's Rise, Ed's the TRUE KILLER, Ink's Naoto, Lavie's Margaret, nde's the main character again, and I, prophet, would probably end up taking Chie's role. You know, we've actually designated Funbuns' name as the main character's due to his hair, only for that idiot to have it cut. Funny, you fucked it up and now the main character LOOKS LIKE NOBODY.

++++++

Most Educational Game That Can Be Applied to Our Daily Lives

edthefucker: Spore shows that there's no god. Hey Christfuckers, suck on those nuts.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Persona 4 taught me to be smart and diligent and understanding and expressive and brave! Then everyone likes you and wants to CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Killer Ink: As Persona 4 displays, even Shadows can gain souls.

funny_bunny: I learned to be responsible and family-ness in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Then I learned that we must cross blades on the STAGE OF HISTORY. Then I learned that THE SHADOW SELF MUST BE ACCEPTED.

Lavie Rhap: I found through Left 4 Dead that our teamwork needs dire improving.

nde: Sharks and eels won't attack you in Endless Ocean.

prettyprophet: Valkyria Chronicles, as far as I can tell, is the only game to make a blatant comparison with the Holocaust. Guys, let's start making games that deal with racism in a less clumsy way.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. Who hasn't dealt with their dark side? Check this shit out, you face your other self and boom, you'll be able to summon demons, solve murder-mysteries, and score with a ton of people who barely know you.

++++++

Most Disappointing Game That We Knew Would Be Disappointing

edthefucker: Persona 4 is shit just like Persona 3. It's all mainstream bullshit. Fuck those bitches.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Fallout 3? THAT'S AN INSULT TO RPGS.

Killer Ink: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Epic, sure. Like Michael Bay.

funny_bunny: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King...WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO LISTEN TO PAT??? THAT FIEND.

Lavie Rhap: I was interested in Fallout 3 but at the same time quite wary. By the time I paid attention to it again, it had been released for a month. All in all, a lukewarm experience.

nde: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

prettyprophet: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Man, Hayter, you must have been pissed to deal with all that shit.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots sucked because it was an over-indulgent by-the-numbers wrap-up. Art? Fuck you. Oh ok, let us make some fifteen minute cutscenes of silted action where nothing really happens and when stuff does happen you feel so goddamn impotent, not because you're a decrepit geezer, but because the game just won't let you put a bullet in Ocelot's head since he has to keep talking and make stupid gestures. We had a feeling all this would happen and lo, it fucking did. Were any of us surprised? Hey, the ending sure was a surprise. They found a way to drag it out even longer and that was UNCANNY. Bravo.

++++++

Most Disappointing Game That Sucker Punched Us in the Solar Plexus

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice. MAO CANNOT COMPARE TO LAHARL. And I hate his glasses!

Killer Ink: Baroque. Too clumsy.

funny_bunny: Dokapon Kingdom: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS. BUT IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOW. Destroyed patience!

Lavie Rhap: I'd have to say Spore due to how simplistic everything before the space era felt. Things also become monotonous rather quickly if one does not develop non-in-game goals.

nde: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. I wasn't really surprised though.

prettyprophet: Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness. Seriously could not play it. Fuck that stylus.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Hey, none of us were expecting a new game; fighters are probably the least likely to go through any major changes. It's just that for all the delays...it wasn't enough. But it's still the group game of choice and the cutscenes in it beat the piss out of MGS4.

+++++

Most Awesome Game That We Knew Would be Awesome

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: PERSONA 4.

Killer Ink: Persona 4.

funny_bunny: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: RING OF FATES.

Lavie Rhap: Personally, due to the sheer audience good-will, Persona 4 would be my choice. However, I simply cannot ignore Sins of a Solar Empire, which is my strategy, as well as overall, game of the year.

nde: I liked Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility but since there were bugs, I'm going Persona 4. But in truth, bugs were expected.

prettyprophet: Valkyria Chronicles. Yeah, I don't think I need to pimp out P4 anymore so here's to Squad 7.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Valkyria Chronicles. Whoa, what the fuck? Not P4? Nah, fuck that, it's a sequel. We're going to reward some originality here; from SEGA, thank the fucking Moon Rabbit. C'mon guys, with HotD: Overkill and a SHINING SRPG...DON'T FUCK IT UP. Anyways, Valkyria. Persona. Get both or fuck off.

++++++

Most Awesome Game That Was Totally Inconceivable

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Left 4 Dead I really liked! BUT I DON'T PLAY FPS??

Killer Ink: Audiosurf. Addictive.

funny_bunny: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core! Playing it was FUN. DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING ELSE LIKE THAT BASTARD SEPHIROTH OR GACKT-FACE. Nonetheless, moi liked a FF game?? WORLD'S END IS NIGH.

Lavie Rhap: I didn't know a thing about Theresia and I'm very glad I didn't. Should be rather cheap compared to other DS titles; get it without reading any reviews!

nde: Prince of Persia. Reminds me of ICO.

prettyprophet: The World Ends With You...HOLY SHIT. A SQUARE GAME. Yeah, that's fucking right. No playa hate here, it's all about the games.



1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. To be completely honest, none of us expected this to be on par with P3. Rush-job to play off the fans. We were wrong and it made P3 look like crap. Props yo.

++++++

Blah blah, here's the usual list of awards:

Best Action: Prince of Persia
Best FPS: Left 4 Dead
Best Light-Gun: The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return
Best Shooter: (none of us played Space Invaders Get Even yet but let's just assume it's awesome)
Best Platformer: Bionic Commando Rearmed
Best Sandbox: Yakuza 2
Best Fighter: Soul Calibur IV
Best Adventure: A Vampyre Story
Best RTS: Sins of a Solar Empire
Best RPG: Persona 4
Best Turn-based: Valkyria Chronicles
Best MMO: Shin Megami Tensei: IMAGINE (default win due to none of us playing new MMOs)
Best Racer: Need for Speed: Undercover (default win, only one all of us played; PS: it's shit)
Best Sports: Wii Fit (default win, also shit)
Best Scary Shit: Theresia
Best Rhythm: Patapon
Best Sim: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility
Best Visual Novel: (Funny: BOLLOCKS TO THAT)
Best Puzzle: Professor Layton and the Curious Village

Best Visuals: Valkyria Chronicles - Sega
Best Concept Art: Persona 4 - Shigenori Soejima <-head over to DOKUGANRYU
Best Music: Persona 4 - Shoji Meguro
Best Story: Persona 4 - Atlus
Best Portable: Newest DJ Max!
Best Co-op: Left 4 Dead - Valve
Best Co-hate: Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Nintendo
Best Zen: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility - Natume
Best Fan-translation: Eternal Punishment 2: Innocent Sin



Best Character of 2008: Persona 4's Teddie, voiced by Dave Wittenberg



Best Game of 2008: Valkyria Chronicles

++++++

And there you have it. Feel free to argue with us all you want; we probably won't listen.

*Images from Be Your True Mind, Danbooru, and Google.

Rabbit Review: 2008

What's the 2008 verdict??

edthefucker: BEST FUCKING YEAR. Did 2007 have Twilight? Fuck no it didn't.

Kawaii Pattycakes: It had PERSONA 4, VALKYRIA, MOTHER 3 -- (and she went on listing a fuckload of stuff)

Killer Ink: I didn't get to travel as much. I wish I gone to Sydney.

Lavie Rhap: Well, I wouldn't say that 2008 had the best cap-off but since we're all sitting here together, I'd think of it as a good year.

prettyprophet: Fuck, I don't even remember anymore. Next year, just worrying about next year. It's gonna be FUCKING headaches.

nde: I could really go for some more champagne.

funny_bunny: HAVE A TANGY TWO-OH-OH-NINE!!!

funny_bunny addendum: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON JANUARY FIRST LIKE THE WORDPRESS VERSION BUT I FORGOT, OHOHOHOHO.

Rabbit Review: Oxide 2x

Title: Oxide 2x
Artist: Hyung-Tae Kim
ISBN: 4-7577-2095-5
Publisher: Enterbrain
First Published: January 2005
Format: Hardcover, 7.5 x 10.5 inches
Language: Japanese
Pages: 176
Purchase Price: $34 US
Purchased From: Yesasia
Extras: None

In November 2005, Magna Carta: Tears of Blood was released, published by Atlus. It was a spiritual sequel to Magna Carta: Phantom of Avalanche and may have had a successful run in Japan, since a PSP version was created and there have been rumors of an Xbox360 sequel. However, in the Western world, Tears of Blood wasn’t received as such, on the account of the banal graphics and awful voice acting. Ah, if I could stop there…but I continue. The Korean RPG played out like an unholy union of Shadow Hearts and Star Ocean, taking the best features from each series and throwing them out the window. The question we have to ask now is: what was the saving grace? The answer? There wasn’t any. But there was one mitigating factor: the artwork was done by Hyung-Tae Kim.





Recollect the mantra “sex sells”. If sales were based purely on that, anything done by Hyung-Tae Kim would fly off the shelves. It’s impossible to look at his art and not think impure thoughts. Eyes that would make you swoon, a trim figure, and skin-tight clothing that reveals ample thighs…bear in mind, this is the description of Calintz, the male protagonist of Tears of Blood. And as for Kim’s ladies? Voluptuous is the word. Masculinity, femininity, and androgyny; all blended together through the craft of Kim. Characters are poised and posed in the most captivating ways, as if being without flair would cause the collapse of the universe.

And so we have a book from Hyung-Tae Kim, an artist whose talents deserve better treatment than the aforementioned game. Just because a game is bad doesn’t mean all aspects follow suit, no?





Oxide 2x is the Japanese print of Kim’s artwork from 1999-2004. There was previously a Korean release of OXIDE: The Art of Genesis, hence the ‘2x’ in this one’s title. It so happens that the Korean version of Oxide 2x, Oxide 2: Carta Numinous, has less pages than the Japanese since OXIDE covered Kim’s earlier work but contains extra art not seen in Oxide 2x. Slightly confusing, yes? Of course, that’s all irrelevant since the Korean books are no longer in print and the Japanese release is the only one we have before us.





The artwork isn’t in chronological order, with oldest to newest. Rather, it’s the opposite, starting with Magna Carta: Tears of Blood and ending at The War of Genesis III, with sketchwork to close. Magna Carta: Tears of Blood, known in the East as Magna Carta: Crimson Stigmata, totals 43 pages, with each page usually holding a single character. Exceptions would be the illustrations done for cover art, promotion, etc. This is understandably Kim’s most polished work in the book, as it is his latest. A wonderful addition is that for every character, their names, date drawn, resolution, and file size are included.





Chapter Two is 2001’s Magna Carta: The Phantom of Avalanche, released in South Korea and nowhere else. Curious to see how Tears of Blood’s Calintz contrasted Phantom of Avalanche’s. The 37 pages here are just like the preceding chapter, but also squeezing in a brief “How to Paint” guide. By ‘brief’, I mean that it is ‘exceedingly brief’. No words, just a series of small images showing the coloring of the character Chelsea. Not sure how helpful it is since I’m no expert on painting via CG. (funny_bunny: Look at the photo of Kim’s desk! I use the exact same pencil he does!)





Pages 87 to 160, which are the next two chapters, consist of War of Genesis III and War of Genesis III: Part 2. Another series by Softmax; another series that I wouldn’t count on reaching stateside. Several of characters share the same page, possibly due to the amount of them. This is especially evident in the War of Genesis III section. It’s Kim’s most early work, but his technique isn’t all too different, so no worries there. Thankfully, Part 2 is mostly spared from that kind of formatting, as that’s my favored chapter. The remaining chapter, made up of 14 pages, is packed with various rough sketches, most of it from the Phantom of Avalanche section. Interestingly enough, the back cover of Oxide 2x advertises itself as having 50 sketches. I suppose that’s true in the sense that there are 50 individual sketches; they’re just spread out over 14 pages.





Judgement:
Oxide 2x is definitely an artbook to get. With the majority of it rich with Hyung-Tae Kim’s illustrations, what’s not to love? Hardcover, two-paged spreads; all of it very professional and clean. Really, all it boils down to is whether or not you’re fond of Kim’s art. As he’s stated in interviews, he is intentionally sensual and sexual. And I, for one, can applaud that.

Author:
Lavie Rhap is a freelance writer who contributes to a number of sites and zines using multiple pseudonyms. Once thought that Super Smash Bros. was a sequel to Super Mario Bros.

Consultants:
prettyprophet is hot-tempered hellion who is always right. Lead singer in a band that constantly changes names and only does secret shows (mainly because they suck).

Kawaii Pattycakes is a self-admitted otaku with thousands of dollars worth in figures. Bought all of “Planet Blood” because she hoped it would be done by THE Hyung-Tae Kim; was sadly mistaken.

funny_bunny is an aficionado of artbooks and craves sushi. Supplies artbooks and recipes to Lavie for reviewing and cooking.









*Images from forgotten or unknown sources. May have been DGP or Hyung-taekim.org.