Villa Leporidae

Rabbit Roundtable: Biased Motherfuckers (Part I – Game Edition)

2009-06-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Gaming in hard sex mode.

prettyprophet: We figured since we've done enough of these 'reviews', 'roundtables', and whatever, it's about time for us to tell everyone our basic biases and preferred genres through lists, because, you know, lists REALLY tell you everything you need to know about a person, right? This first one only applies to GAMES though; it's the only thing all of the Thousand Rabbits are actually interested in together. Yeah, I know, movies, comics, books...but those tend to get pretty specific. Anyways, now you can pick whoever to read and ignore all those other cunts.

Something you should remember though:

Lavie Rhap usually does 'purchase guides'. Basically she's just talking about whether or not it's a good buy.

prettyprophet, aka me, usually does 'roundtables'. I either sit down with a couple of the others and we talk about whatever.....or I just get random thoughts from everyone and stitch a post together from that. Kinda like this one.

funny_bunny usually does...something. Sometimes he'll do straight-up reviews, sometimes he'll do nonsensical writings. We have no fucking clue.

...While nde, Pat, Ed and Ink don't write anything.

Anyways, here:

prettyprophet
Will play: Anything
Will enjoy: No clue
Has: Atari, NES, GB, SNES, Genesis, Game Gear, PS1, N64, SS, GBA, DC, PS2, Xbox, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC
Preferred system: DC
Preferred genre: None
Hated genre: None
Platformer: Sonic series (Sonic the Hedgehog 2)
Adventure: Phoenix Wright series (Ace Attorney)
Action-Adventure: Shadow of the Colossus
Fighter: Guilty Gear series (XX: The Midnight Carnival)
Shooter: Panzer Dragoon series (Saga)
Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II)
FPS: Almost anything by Valve (Half-Life 2)
RTS: Starcraft series
TBS: Total War series (Medieval II)
RPG: Baldur's Gate series (Baldur's Gate II)
JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne)
SRPG: Ogre series (Let Us Cling Together)
Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah
MMO: None (default Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine)
Sim: Harvest Moon series (Whatever's recent, Tree of Tranquility)
Puzzle: Bomberman series (64: The Second Attack)
Rhythm: Audiosurf
Racing: Burnout series (Whatever's recent)
Sports: Whatever new and decent soccer game comes out
Visual Novel: Crescendo
Co-op: House of the Dead II
Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl)
Music: Shoji Meguro (Megaten)
Art: Hyung-tae Kim (War of Genesis, Magna Carta)
Story: Megaten (Nocturne)
Most beloved: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Starcraft, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

prettyprophet: Sonic 2 was the first co-op game I played, Starcraft is the lifeline of any Asian who plays games, and Megaten, FUCK YES.

nde
Will play: Anything
Will enjoy: Indeterminable
Has: Anything Prophet has (owns most of them)
Preferred system: PS2
Preferred genre: None
Hated genre: None
Platformer: Sonic series (Sonic the Hedgehog 2)
Adventure: The Longest Journey
Action-Adventure: ICO
Fighter: Guilty Gear series (XX: The Midnight Carnival)
Shooter: Panzer Dragoon series (Saga)
Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II)
FPS: Breakdown
RTS: Starcraft series
TBS: Romance of the Three Kingdoms series (ROTK XI)
RPG: Baldur's Gate series (Baldur's Gate II)
JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne)
SRPG: Ogre series (Knights of Lodis)
Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah
MMO: None
Sim: Harvest Moon series (A Wonderful Life)
Puzzle: Tetris (GB)
Rhythm: DJ Max series (DJ Max Portable 2)
Racing: Burnout series (Whatever's recent)
Sports: None
Visual Novel: None
Co-op: House of the Dead II
Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl)
Music: Ko Otani (Shadow of the Colossus)
Art: Kazuma Kaneko (Megaten)
Story: Megaten (Nocturne)
Most beloved: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Starcraft, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

nde: My interests are similar to Prophet's.

Lavie Rhap
Will play: Anything
Will enjoy: Indeterminable
Has: Genesis, GBA, DC, DS, Wii, PC
Preferred system: PC
Preferred genre: Anything with historical background
Hated genre: None
Platformer: Mario series (Super Mario 3)
Adventure: The past glory of Lucasarts
Action-Adventure: Zelda series (Link's Awakening)
Fighter: The Last Blade series (The Last Blade 2)
Shooter: Karous
Light-gun: Time Crisis series (Time Crisis 2)
FPS: Halo series (Halo)
RTS: C&C (Red Alert 2)
TBS: Total War series (Rome)
RPG: Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura
JRPG: Shadow Hearts series (Shadow Hearts: Covenant)
SRPG: Valkyria Chronicles
Scary: Hellnight aka Dark Messiah
MMO: None
Sim: Harvest Moon series (Friends of Mineral Town)
Puzzle: Brain Age
Rhythm: Guitar Hero series (first one)
Racing: None
Sports: Wii Sports
Visual Novel: None
Co-op: Trauma Center: New Blood
Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl)
Music: Yasunori Mitsuda (Chrono Cross, Xenogears)
Art: Range Murata (Spy Fiction, Power Instinct)
Story: Grim Fandango
Most beloved: Grim Fandango, Rome: Total War, Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town

Lavie Rhap: I actually don't play games all that much; I must admit that my tastes have been somewhat shaped by Prophet, Pat, and nde.

Kawaii Pattycakes
Will play: Anything that's Asian
Will enjoy: Anything that's Asian
Has: NES, GB, SNES, GBC, Genesis, PS1, N64, SS, GBA, DC, PS2, GC, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC
Preferred system: Asian ones
Preferred genre: JRPG
Hated genre: RPG
Platformer: Castlevania series (Symphony of the Night)
Adventure: Trace Memory
Action-Adventure: Ys series (Eternal)
Fighter: Super Smash (BRAWL)
Shooter: Rez
Light-gun: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles
FPS: Dark Messiah aka Hellnight
RTS: GrimGrimoire
TBS: THAT'S THE SAME AS TACTICS...so I'll say Front Mission!
RPG: NOTHING...Sudeki!
JRPG: Megaten - Persona line (Persona 4)
SRPG: Anything from Nippon Ichi (Disgaea)
Scary: Fatal Frame series (Crimson Butterfly)
MMO: None (default Silkroad)
Sim: Harvest Moon series - Rune Factory line (Rune Factory)
Puzzle: Professor Layton (Curious Village)
Rhythm: DDR (ALL)
Racing: Initial D: Street Stage
Sports: Any Prince of Tennis
Visual Novel: ANY WITH BEAUTIFUL BOYS
Co-op: Super Smash (Brawl)
Co-hate: Super Smash (Brawl)
Music: Hitoshi Sakimoto (FFXII, Valkyria Chronicles)
Art: Shigenori Soejima (Stella Deus, Trauma Center: New Blood, Persona 4)
Story: Megaten (Persona 4)
Most beloved: Ys: I&II Eternal, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly

Kawaii Pattycakes: I dunno what to say! Games make everything happy!

edthefucker
Will play: Anything
Will enjoy: Nothing
Has: NES, GB, N64, DC, PS2, DS, 360, PS3, PC
Preferred system: PC
Preferred genre: FPS
Hated genre: Most RPGs and JRPGs
Platformer: Contra III
Adventure: None
Action-Adventure: X-Men Legends II
Fighter: Super Smash (N64)
Shooter: Cho Aniki
Light-gun: House of the Dead III (arcade only)
FPS: Quake III
RTS: Starcraft
TBS: Advance Wars (Dual Strike)
RPG: Diablo series (newest)
JRPG: Megaten (but not really)
SRPG: None
Scary: None (they aren't scary)
MMO: Silkroad
Sim: Cooking Mama
Puzzle: Big Brain Academy
Rhythm: DDR (ALL)
Racing: Cruis'n USA
Sports: Any NBA Street
Visual Novel: Name the most fucked up one you've seen
Co-op: Silk
Co-hate: Silk
Music: Silk
Art: Silk
Story: Silk
Most beloved: Silk

edthefucker: Silk, bitches.

Killer Ink
Will play: Stuff that has a distinct visual style
Will enjoy: Things that he can interpret
Has: PS2, PC
Preferred system: None
Preferred genre: ???
Hated genre: Sports
Platformer: Odin Sphere
Adventure: ICO
Action-Adventure: Okami
Fighter: None
Shooter: Ikaruga
Light-gun: None
FPS: killer7
RTS: None
TBS: None
RPG: None
JRPG: Megaten - Main line (Nocturne)
SRPG: None
Scary: The Lost Crown
MMO: None
Sim: Spore
Puzzle: None
Rhythm: Audiosurf
Racing: None
Sports: None
Visual Novel: None
Co-op: None
Co-hate: None
Music: Masafumi Takada (killer7, No More Heroes)
Art: Kazuma Kaneko (Megaten)
Story: ICO
Most beloved: ICO, No More Heroes, Okami

Killer Ink: As long as I want to look at it.

funny_bunny
Will play: Indeterminable
Will enjoy: Indeterminable
Has: Atari, NES, GB, Game Gear, N64, DC, PS2, Xbox, DS, PSP, Wii, PS3, PC
Preferred system: ALL
Preferred genre: ALL
Hated genre: ALL...especially VISUAL NOVELS
Platformer: Metal Slug series (ALL)
Adventure: Sam & Max (Hit the Road)
Action-Adventure: Disaster Report series (first one!)
Fighter: Capcom vs. SNK 2
Shooter: The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love?
Light-gun: House of the Dead series (House of the Dead II)
FPS: Oblivion
RTS: Starcraft
TBS: TOTAL WAR
RPG: Planescape: Torment
JRPG: MEGATEN
SRPG: BRING BACK THE SHINING
Scary: Rule of Rose
MMO:Granado Espada
Sim: Persona 4
Puzzle: DJ Max Portable 2
Rhythm: Saints Row 2
Racing: Ridge Racer PSP
Sports: THE IDOLM@STER: Missing Moon
Visual Novel: NEVER
Co-op: Left 4 Dead
Co-hate: BRAWL
Music: Shoji Meguro (MEGATEN)
Art: YOU ASK TOO MUCH [prophet edit: hey, fuck you. Even Pat had to choose.]
Story: Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard
Most beloved: Shin Megami Tensei, Shin Megami Tensei II, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

funny_bunny: BE YOUR TRUE GAME.

++++++++

prettyprophet: And that's us. Course, these lists are prone to change at any given time, so.....yeah, have fun figuring that out.

Images from Be Your True Mind, Hyung-taekim.org, and Google. Sorry about the lack of Western artists; these were just easier to find.

Porn: Not Funny; 'Tis Vile #1

2009-05-29T17:37:00.000-07:00

"iTunes may not be able to connect with Yahoo! or Google. Make sure you are connected to the Internet, and that you’ve entered the correct ID and password in iTunes. Connect iPhone to your computer, click the Info tab in iTunes, click Configure in the Contacts section, then enter your current ID and password."

Porn: Not Funny; 'Tis Vile #1

prettyprophet: In light of all this brouhaha on rape and porn and all that good stuff, we decided it would be best to make light. And by "we" I mean "me" because......well I don't feel like waiting half a year for Funny to draw whatever. Besides, this is more than adequate, right?

Kawaii Pattycakes: I want to say stuff but Prophet won't let me!

prettyprophet: Because you're a very poor representation of the rational game-playing, anime-watching community. Hell, you're probably one of the worst.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Smut has not made me a bad person.

prettyprophet: Whenever Pat's drunk, she tries to rape nde.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Hey!

prettyprophet: Oh, by that I mean she's not actually drunk but she uses that as an excuse to cop a feel. You fucking predator.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I'd use sad emoticons but you won't let me do that too.

prettyprophet: Yeah, my fist is pretty iron.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Tentacles! Tentacle yaoi...

prettyprophet: Tentacles.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Why's this 1000 Rabbits? It was all you!

prettyprophet: Because I asked Funny to do the old man's dialogue. And the tentacle was Ed.

Kawaii Pattycakes: When are we doing more yaoi...............

prettyprophet: Funny showed me the doujinshi.

Kawaii Pattycakes: IT'S HERE!?!

prettyprophet: Go talk to him. Probably being scanned yo, so you ain't getting your hands on them yet.

Kawaii Pattycakes: They're being scanned.......and BENT....BAWWWWW.....

prettyprophet: Scanlation, ugly, sexy business.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Byebye! We're going out for pho!

prettyprophet: Rabbits bringing you liberty, lunacy, and love.

Rabbit Rant: Sexuality and Scanlating P-FOREST's [Valkyria "Off" the Battlefield]

2009-05-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry kids, get the hell out. Mom is FUCKING PISSED. Featuring Valkyria Chronicles spoilers!

Prophet here. If you're Valkyria Chronicles fan (and you ALL are, right?) you may have been looking around for Valkyria doujinshi. If you're a guy Valkyria fan, you may have been looking for Valkyria hentai doujinshi. Probably featuring Ms. Selvaria Bles. Yeah, we pre-empted that shit. Valkyria "Off" the Battlefield, by P-FOREST, Selvaria x Maximilian, presented by the Randy fucking Rabbit. Ok, to be honest, I just asked Pat to find me any Valkyria doujinshi of any kind and this was the first thing she got. I wish we got it out earlier but hey, we were busy.

So we released that. Big deal, we release all sorts of shit all the time; anyone want more "fluid"? Go back a few days. We released this doujinshi. In that post, Peking Duck, who is a "normal" person compared to the rest of us, was confused by my personal stance on pornography. We argued a bit for the sake of the post. What wasn't included was our argument after.

For the record, I am totally neutral towards it. "Moral decadence", "think of the children", blah blah blah.....face it, sex is like any other aspect of life. It's pretty important but don't dwell on it, alright? Lonely college student, bored husband, experimenting couples, maybe this can assist in getting your rocks off. People who collect and catalog by actresses/actors/year/genres? That's creepy; but I can't even fucking say that because I KNOW people who do that and......ok, SOME of them are fucked up (hey Nate, what's up?)

But back to Peking Duck. She says to me (in reference to DDT's Ouverture), "Prophet, why are we bothering with porn? Let's just go downtown." I explain that it wasn't for us, at least not in the sexual gratification sense (well, I'm not going to pry to lives of our Rabbit boys). I didn't really push for Ouverture since it was already being done when I found out; I encouraged it because I wanted our own scans to be used. But we found understanding in Ouverture since it had Dark Saber dominating the hell out of Shirou. "Ah, your feminist agenda." says Duck. "Fuck you." says I. Note: do not call me a feminist because I have no fucking clue what one is. I took a Fem-Lit class once, with nde, who is my brother. He passed with an A. I, a girl, nearly failed with a D. I am still confused about it. Anyways.

"My agenda," I say to Duck, "is to have stronger women." Now that's a very general statement; how are we going to make them stronger? I don't know, it depends on the situation. Duck asks, "How the hell have you been doing that?" The example I chose was Valkyria "Off" the Battlefield.

To begin with, I pushed for Valkyria because I wanted to be the first group to get a translated Valkyria doujinshi out. That was it. Everything else just happened to work in my favor. It was translated by ak (see his blog that has actual intellectual discussion). Script primarily edited by me, with minor changes here and there by nde. Oh, I should mention that this weirds Duck out so much. I guess that makes sense but it's not like we care, so whatever.

Now, let's compare what changed from ak's script and the final product:

The title is wordplay off the Japanese name for Valkyria: Valkyria of the Battlefield: Gallian Chronicles. Add a 'f' to 'of' and there you go. I'm not sure if this was thanks to ak or actual English know-how on part of circle P-FOREST. Here, Selvaria's subtlety (relatively) sexualized. She's got that sassy back-turn, her breasts have emphasis, hair and clothes caught in the wind, bit of revealed arms, and there's a sheen to her stockings. But the expression on her face, what is that? That's disdain. I know that face, I use it all the time. Course, this is a cover and usually doesn't mean jack.

In the game, Maximilian is a pansy-ass piece of bishie shit. Selvaria is a ruthless and obsessed with our good Prince. Note: the story and characters in Valkyria Chronicles are fun and serviceable. Best game of last year? To me it was. Best script of last year? Fuck no. That goes to Persona 4. Anyways, it really doesn't matter if Selvaria's a bitch to Maximilian because she's obviously the most devastating tool of war in the entire game. Why did the Imps lose the war? Because Maximilian had no idea how to use his people and could not discipline his men into not running away when a single scout captures their base. P-FOREST here presents Max as some sort of cocky motherfucker, who knows exactly what Selvaria wants. Selvaria, being a Japanese "creation", makes one assume, "Oh, it's going to take a while before she finally admits she wants his cock." Look at THIS face, compared to the cover. Is this a confident warrior maiden of the battlefield? No. The sfx next to her is "flinch". Great, another shame-filled sexfest. Nothing in the script was really changed for this page. Let's see the next.

Selvaria locks the fucking door and just says, "No one's around." Max knows what's going to go down; he's just sitting there, chillaxing, so I can only assume this is not the first time something like this happened. He's all being coy but Selvaria, she's already taking off her clothes. Her next lines, from "I beg you" to "I ask for your penis" are unchanged from ak's script. I didn't even have to change anything; she knew what SHE wanted too.

If you haven't figured out by now, the "sex sfx" doesn't actually matter to us; it could all be "ah" but whoever's typesetting just reaches into our sex sfx vault (yeah, it's real...seriously) and paces the sfx out. Here, Selvaria's just moaning and shit.......but look at her face. She is fucking happy. Hence the "happy sex" tag we used. I know, it's a stereotype that all hentai is endless loli rape, but I've seen ones that are technically happy sex yet the girl's either crying or has a face of over-the-top pleasure. Selvaria just looks like she's enjoying yourself. Good show, P-FOREST.

Ah crap, looks like I have to take some of that back. Max just did the whole "oh, you should be ashamed of yourself" thing. Will this be the end of my pro-sexual-Selvaria? No script changes either.

And the shame continues. "Sorry", "Not right", "etc" with Max still talking. Although Max had the dominant position from the beginning, he's clearly in control by this point since he's smiling and Selvaria's got that face of instant shock and pleasure. From what I've learned after working on all that porn, that can be the first penetration or the second phase where the fucking gets intensified. There was one change I want to point out here: ak has "Your Highness' hot thing is inside me"...I have "Your Grace's hot dick is inside me". Again, this goes with the shame deal. Fuck that, Selvaria's plenty capable of saying "dick". She already said "penis", she's not changing it to "thing" now.

Ok, rubbing against the desk, that's usual. Nothing was changed here. That's right, NOTHING WAS CHANGED......and Selvaria still cries out, "Do it inside." But does Max do it? Doesn't look like it. Do it inside? What the fuck? Does she WANT a bun in the oven?

Yeah, she fucking does. Max realizes this too. And since he is SO bent on this war of his, he's willing to give her his royal bloodline. Here's Max's lines from ak's original script:

"What’s this, Selvaria? You, a Valkyrian. You, my child, what you desire… If that’s the case then win me this war. For the Empire…for my sake! I’ll give it up to you, Selvaria. Ten times, a hundred times, my semen will be yours."

Here's mine:

"Selvaria, what's this? So that is what you desire? My Valkyrur... If that's the case...win me this war! For the Empire...for my sake! ...and I'll give it up to you, Selvaria...ten times, a thousand times...my seed will be yours!"

And Sevlaria's response: "Then please leave it to me...Prince Maximilian, Your Grace." The 'then' was added by me. And there, the end.

This last page pretty much shows my entire agenda. I didn't have to change much; P-FOREST already took care of a lot of it for me by using just the right images. Is Selvaria a shame-filled cunt in the last frame? Hell no, she's got a motherfucking devious look. Her expression is clear, she's smiling, AND there's that shady tone people often use to signify some sort of sneakiness. What the fuck does Max have? Just his dick and Selvaria's ideal image of him. He can't brush her off now. Think about it: Selvaria was born some sort of lowly experiment, saved by a Prince. She becomes a badass beauty on the battlefield, capable of leveling armies on her own. And now, she's going to be at future Emperor Maximilian's side and be the mother to the Imperial heir. That's my prediction on Valkyria Chronicles alternate history.

"Prophet," Peking Duck says, "Do you REALLY think that people are going to get that?" Sadly no. Most people aren't going to get it unless it's totally blatant like in Ouverture. And even then, all this is just used for masturbation material. Now, I will say that P-FOREST probably was aiming for that assertive Selvaria, so with their images and my adjustments to the script, I'm HOPING that more people got that impression of Selvaria than what we give them credit for. Speaking of credits, I may as well include it.

This is how I ended up vetoing for the "Selvaria x Maximilian" concept, not the other way around. Does this go against my own personal hatred against non-canon fan-fantasy pairings? Pat thinks it does, but I disagree. Selvaria and Max's relationship was always simple to me. The ONLY power Max has over her is love. And that's a fucking damning power. Whoever loves least, right? That's it. However, that takes only "love" into consideration. Love isn't just "love"; that's bullshit. There's always more "wants". Max probably doesn't "love" Selvaria; but he wants and needs her to do ANYTHING. Selvaria just needs "love"...but there is so much more she can take from him. Naturally, we'll never know what she can take. So this works as canon fan-fantasy. If it was something like "Selvaria orders her shocktroopers to gangrape Faldio until she finally gores his ass with her charged up lance" then I have no argument on that. But this is Selvaria and Maximilian, at the beginning of the Gallian campaign, subtlety playing with the idea of control.

At first I was also going to use this rant to get into faithfulness to scripts......but fuck that, I wrote way too much already. I'll save it for another time.

Author:
prettyprophet is a hot-tempered hellion who scans, proofreads, edits, and does public relations for the Rabbits but won't fund it at all out of stubborn principle. When not being harried by the scanlation scene, she gets involved with other scenes, harrying herself even further.

Mobile Rabbit Roundtable 0080: Rabbits in the Pocket

2009-04-22T22:36:00.001-07:00

DEATH TO GUNDAM.

funny_bunny: Hey hey, everyone! It's Chief Funbuns!

prettyprophet: And the Prophet.

Lavie Rhap: And I, Lavie.

funny_bunny: Lavie's a PROTECTOR.

prettyprophet: Ok, so we were talking today about CLASS OF HEROES. I'm really looking forward to this, even though I didn't care for Etrian all too much.

Lavie Rhap: Is it because of the school setting?

prettyprophet: Exactly, it IS because of the school setting.

funny_bunny: So! In our GLORIOUS ARROGANCE...we felt that since we, the Thousand Rabbits, always place ourselves in such games...OUR READERS SHOULD LEARN HOW TO MAKE US!

prettyprophet: Hell yes, we are just that narcissistic!

Lavie Rhap: It's actually somewhat of a strange phenomenon.

funny_bunny: It's SAME ALPHA WAVELENGTHS.

prettyprophet: Alright, people have no idea what we're talking about. A few years back, when the first Etrian Odyssey came out, Pat was playing it hardcore. I didn't give a shit. One day, Funny goes to her, "Oh, you're playing Etrian. How's that?" And Pat, she just starts gushing on and on like usual but adds, "Prophet (well, my real name) just took down so and so!" I'm like, "Huh, someone's got my name? That's rare." "Oh no, I put all of you guys in my game! Look, you're all so kawaii~~^_^"

And that's that story.

Lavie Rhap: From then on, whenever any of us play games that allow character customization, we try to fit in as many of our friends as possible. Interestingly enough, our choices in classes and characters are nearly identical.

prettyprophet: It's not THAT surprising since we know how everyone plays. But dear readers, we are going to tell YOU how to make the Thousand Rabbits when Class of Heroes comes out. Well maybe not, since...has anyone taken into account race? Because I just focus on class thanks to Etrian and Disgaea.

Lavie Rhap: We'll all be exploring new ground together.

funny_bunny: No worries! Etrian will be our template! DIDI DIDI DIDI.

prettyprophet: Giving you two classes per character and predicated race. Note: Pat was the one who got everything done pretty accurately so we're using her guidelines for this, which was base characters not on usefulness but on closeness to physical appearances and personality. Refer to Etrian Oddity.

nde

Main: Ranger/back-line attacker - something distant
Secondary: Samurai - something stoic from the Orient
Probable Race: Elf - "They prefer softer sounds, as the ancient Elf language is very poetic."

prophet sez: Pick the most depressed looking character for nde. Withdrawn, inattentive, small, and weak. You'd think Hexer, right? Nah, that's the creepy class; Nyx got that in Pat's and I think Funny gave it to holstein in his.

Prophet

Main: Warrior/front-line fighter - in your FACE
Secondary: Alchemist/back-line attacker - heavy attack, no magic shit
Probable Race: Elf - "They are a highly intelligent and pious race, and thus are well suited for spell-casting majors."

Lavie sez: Though Pat gave Prophet the Alchemist class in Etrian, that was mainly due to Prophet's major at the time (Chemistry). Choose an aggressive class that acts as the vanguard. Since her brother would be of the Elf race, she would have to be one as well, though I don't believe she would like that.

Lavie

Main: PALADIN'S ARE MALE ONLY IN CLASS OF HEROES/front-line defense - TANK
Secondary: Cleric/back-line healer - heel plz
Probable Race: Celestian - "A race with the blood of the heavens."

Funny sez: Lavie's supposed to be PROTECTOR OF US ALL and I gave her a Protector figure as a gift and it's AWESOME. But in Class of Heroes only GUYS can be Paladins and that's DETRIMENTAL to the FEMININE CAUSE. BOLLOCKS, SAYS I. So she can be Valkyrie instead.

Patty

Main: Thief/Troubadour/some sort of support - She's a Japanophile
Secondary: Gunner/back-line attacker - She's a slut
Probable Race: Halfling - "Even after coming of age, a member of this race is only about as tall as a human child."

prophet sez: Pat loves the most useless classes but in this case, thieves and whatnot will probably be necessary. Just pick the most energetic looking portrait. Why does she get halfling when she's as tall as I am? Because she's a goddamn CHILD.

Ed

Main: Doesn't matter/attacker - ATTACK
Secondary: Doesn't matter/attacker - ATTACK
Probable Race: Diablon - "Being of demon origin, they tend to be avoided by other races."

Lavie sez: I feel bad doing Ed's...(prophet: SHUT UP AND DO IT) Ed's class does not actually matter...we simply choose the most evil looking class. In Etrian, it was one Dark Hunter that looked quite like him, only with blue instead of red hair. He also dislikes any defense, preferring offensive capabilities all the time.

Ink

Main: Psychicer/back-line magic caster - STOIC
Secondary: Anyone that looks Indian (as in, India) - BRAHMAN
Probable Race: Dwarf - "They are as pious as they are strong, causing many of them to enter priestly fields as well."

Funny sez: WHY DID PAT GIVE HIM LANDSNECHT? Oh yes, because he was selling his soul at the time, fufufufu! INK, YOU SELLOUT BASTARD. Anyways anyways anyways, a classy class will suit Ink just fine. A little mystic BUT NOT TOO MYSTIQUE. He gets dwarf because that is as dark as Class of Heroes gets! And he's SHORT.

Funny

Main: Devout/front-back-whatever - crazy classes
Secondary: Any sort of healing thing - Funny loves healing, the freak
Probable Race: Sprites - "They are also small, but some theories suggest they use illusions to make them appear so."

prophet sez: Ah, the medic. Funny had Pat remake her medic into the lolipop one and name it after him (Pat already made him the male medic). But for Class of Heroes, who knows, Lavie'll probably take the healer slot if Paladins are out. Just pick someone who's like a sprite. You know, someone from the SPRITE race.

++++++++

prettyprophet: I have my own classes already set for a bunch of friends:

Mori = Wizard, Erdgeist
Nyx = Evoker, Diablon
Peking Duck = Kunoichi, Felpier
trev = Monk, Drake
Trojan = Samurai, Human
Whopper = Paladin, Drake
Emily = Ninja, Felpier

funny_bunny: Here's mine! BUT NOT ALL.

Honey = Wizard, Celestian
holstein = Monk, Diablon
-_- = Evoker, Human
7672359440 = Samurai, Felpier
Aerith’s Bitch = Alchemist, Halfling
Barbarossa = Paladin, Celestian

Lavie Rhap: I don't have a PSP so...I sadly will not be able to join in the school of heroic deeds.

prettyprophet: Man, I gotta write about why I love school-based games one day.

funny_bunny: DO IT NOW.

prettyprophet: Fuck off, I'm playing some ROTK XI.

funny_bunny: SO! Games the Rabbits can be lovingly placed into: Nippon Ichi stuff like Disgaea! Etrian Odyssey! Romance of the Three Kingdoms! Soul Calibur IV! Sins of a Solar Empire! Old skool RPGS! CLASS OF HEROES.

Lavie Rhap: Games that allow customization but has canon names don't count.

prettyprophet: Yeah, like I can name everyone in FF7 "Cunt" but we all know Cloud's name is Cloud. Cloud Strife. Because it's the opposite of Zack. Zack Fair.

Lavie Rhap: You'll never get over that, will you?

prettyprophet: No. I can honestly say that I am totally 100% positive that the sheer fucking stupidness of the reasoning behind those names CANNOT be defended by the fanbase.

funny_bunny: EASY EASY PROPHET, surely we can forgive Final Fantasy when we have such wonderful things like the love between Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly!

prettyprophet: Funny...you just HAD to put their last names in.

funny_bunny: CLASS OF 2009!

Lavie Rhap: Heroes, created by Tim Kring.

prettyprophet: Save the cheerleader, save the PSP.

Rabbit Roundtable: Valkyria Profile ~ On the DLC Front

2009-04-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

VALKYRIA DLC ATTACKS.

prettyprophet: It fucking rocks. If you have Valkyria, get it. If you don't, get a PS3, get Valkyria, then download it.

nde: They should probably beat it first.

prettyprophet: Yeah, probably. So I've got a final tomorrow...fuck that, I played Selvaria's AND Edy's DLC. They're both awesome. I know, $5, that's a little steep...but it's Valkyria. And if this encourages Sega to make more (SKIES OF MOTHERFUCKING ARCADIA), I'm gonna toss 'em bones. SHUT IT YOU CUNTS, I did study, I'll be fine, SHUT IT FUNNY, KEEP CLEANING ACONY, YOU'RE DONE, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES.

nde: I bought the Edy Detachment DLC. Prophet bought Selvaria's.

prettyprophet: I was iffy on Edy since it's only one map compared to Selvaria's...maps. I don't want to spoil anything, so whatever. Anyways, nde wanted to chip in on VC stuff since I was the one who paid for the whole game; I was going to buy Selvaria regardless. You get a MG if you A-rank all of her's...nothing if you A-rank Edy.

nde: For Edy, different endings for different ranks.

prettyprophet: Technically both DLC's are fanservice filled...but Edy's is total fanservice. I'm not talking upskirt shit; just clean fun. So if you like Edy (minor spoilers), Homer, Lynn, Susie, Jann, and Marina, you'll love this DLC. Homer and Marina. They're great. Jann? Japanese makeup-wearing bears? Little too obvious.

nde: Homer has subtlety, then?

prettyprophet: Hold up, I can't believe we haven't talked about this yet: Rabbits in Valkyria, who would we be? Actually fuck that, we could just be ourselves.

nde: No, Lavie talked about this.

prettyprophet: When the hell was that?

nde: Some time ago.

prettyprophet: We need to get Funny to draw some shit. Too bad it'll suck. [funny edit: nonsense, IT'LL BE FANTASTIC. I can be Hans!]

nde: He's busy working on this thing.

prettyprophet: Usagiten?

nde: This other thing.

prettyprophet: Oh god. Ok, let's talk about the Edy scenario itself. Basically your squad of six is on its own and you have to defend a town. Simple as that.

nde: If any enemy enters your base area, you lose.

prettyprophet: No retreat, no redeploy, no medics, no orders. Just what you got.

nde: I think default equipment and levels are transferred over from the main game.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I think so too, since I tried to give Lynn the badass machinegun but it didn't work. What we mean by default is whatever your levels are as of playing the DLC. Like, we'd cleared the game twice over, so we're maxed out...Edy's DLC wasn't as challenging as it may be for others thanks to that. Then again, I watched nde B-rank it first, so I figured out how to A-rank on my turn.

nde: As for Selvaria's...

prettyprophet: I used a guide for the second map. I was like, "Fuck, I'll just A-rank it first, get the machinegun."

nde: Somewhat somber. Melancholy.

prettyprophet: Hey, not with that one scene. Huh, wink, nudge?

nde: Hm?

prettyprophet: Don't tell me you missed that.

nde: Missed what?

prettyprophet: I'll show you later. If you're a Selvaria fan, download this. I kinda am; the whole "oh I love you Max but I know you're just using me" is meh but fuck that, she's awesome. Really wish her boobs weren't designed for horndogs. And for our readers, nde just gave me one of his "you-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-I'm-thinking" looks because he thinks I'm about to go off on Valkyria's female character designs. I'm not. They're very fucking impractical. That's all I'm gonna say. That's all I have to say. Kid, shut the fuck up.

nde: I haven't played "Behind Her Blue Flames" yet. I watched.

prettyprophet: Think you'll A-rank?

nde: Maybe. Usually the easiest. But tactically unsound.

prettyprophet: And how. So that's nde and Prophet, giving you impressions on two of Valkyria Chronicles's DLC packs: "Enter the Edy Detachment" and "Behind Her Blue Flames". Didn't get the Hard-EX mode because we haven't even touched the hard skirmishes yet. I guess I'll get to that after I finish Absence of Justice.

nde: Maybe when it drops in price.

prettyprophet: They cost $5 a pack. Selvaria's is definitely worth it since it's more than one map and gives you a gun and further characterization...Hard-EX (or Hard-SEX as Funny loves to call it) we don't know about, maybe Funny or Pat bought it [funny edit: NAW SON......Pat's not getting it either because she suxxx at Valkyria! SUCKS FALDIO'S PENIS!] but since it changes up your tactics completely and gives you new weapons to use, it's got the most literal bang for your buck...and Edy, get only if you like those soldiers involved. Otherwise, pray that Sega decides to make more DLC with people you DO like.

nde: That probably depends on how many people buy the DLC though. Sadly.

prettyprophet: What are you complaining about? You got Susie and Marina. Don't try to hide your lust.

nde: Homer?

prettyprophet: I'd do him. But that'd be statutory rape. And he'd love it. Seriously though, Aika and Vyse. Let's get those Skies of Arcadia kids in and maybe Sega'll give us more rocked out RPGs like Nintendo did with Fire Emblem (even though I hate Roy, Marth, and Ike).

nde: I'm going to sleep.

prettyprophet: And I'M going to listen to Olivia's latest single, "Sailing Free", play more Valkyria, and whip Funny into cleaning.

nde: I think he's playing VC as well.

prettyprophet: Vietcong, The Other Side, Love Love Love, close your eyes, we're all under the same sky, you have me, whoever you are, I...love you...

nde: Not studying anymore?

prettyprophet: Hush.

Images from some MU link of the preorder artbook. Hey, send us Valkyria doujinshi. Seriously.

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - #0002

2009-04-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

"What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,
That he should weep for her? What would he do,
Had he the motive and the cue for passion
That I have? He would drown the stage with tears
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
Make mad the guilty and appal the free,
Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0002 - A Serpent Stung Me

funny_bunny: It's fun finals time! That means it's fun drawing time for me! But no one else is around because they're all study or not even in town! SOME ARE VERY VERY RESPONSIBLE AND SOME ARE VERY VERY BAD. But nde is here!

nde: Yeah.

funny_bunny: nde, are you sad that you have not made your appearance in megaten doujinshi yet?

nde: No. Prophet will figure something out.

funny_bunny: YOU won't figure something out?

nde: You know I can't write comedy.

funny_bunny: And you think ye wee sibling can?? YOU THINK I CAN? UNBELIEVABLE. Oh oh, so PP was the thinker behind this! Wait! Read ze comic before this point! No panel-panel-panel-panel breakdowns, just straight up chat-chit! Ok, MAU!

nde: Everyone wanted the summoner to be killed off early so all the demons could do anything they wanted.

funny_bunny: BUT HOW TO KILL?

nde: Then Prophet saw a bag of White Rabbit Candy that wasn't thrown out yet. So that was that.

funny_bunny: OBJECTION, cameo! That was for Aerith's Bitch, you rascal!

nde: I guess this one was self-explanatory.

funny_bunny: No REAL in-jokes here! Was SUPPOSED to be done AEONS ago. But I had to carefully hone my art to the point of perfection, as you may see here.

nde: I think people forgot about the contamination scandal by now.

funny_bunny: YOU didn't forget. MOI didn't forget!

nde: That's true.

funny_bunny: Usagiten! Melamine! Style from TOTAN KOBAKO! SKETCHBOOK!

nde: Maybe this and other projects will be worked on soon.

funny_bunny: NAAHHHHH. Too busy with SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF INKY.

Rabbit Roundtable: Persona 4 - Find Your True Pairing

2009-02-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

"Heartbeat, Heartbeat, it keeps on pounding
Heartbreak, Heartbreak, you tell me goodbye
Heartbeat, Heartbeat, it keeps on pounding
Heartbreak, Heartbreak, you tell me goodbye"

We need some more girl protagonists, yo. MASSIVE SPOILERS INSIDE.

Wassup kids, it's Prophet and I am here to finally give you our thoughts on Persona 4. "Whoa, you guys are fucking late to the party. Half-assed Megaten fans you are." First of all, fuck you. As Ed says, "Any Megaten fan that likes Persona is a fake bitch." Therefore, none of us are really Megaten fans at all. Second of all, fuck Ed. The only reason it's taken this long for us (as in, me) to write anything is because we never would have written anything. What can we say? It's Persona 4, it's better than Persona 3 in...lots of levels, and I hope the next Megaten they're doing is part of the core series.

However, because I'm trying to avoid work (both school and Rabbit stuff) I'm going to personally write up some things. Expect random bits of input from random bits of Rabbits (the ones that cleared the game, that is). If for some reason the MASSIVE SPOILERS/TRUE ENDING tag hasn't scared you off and you haven't beat P4 yet...GET THE FUCK OUT.

They're gone? Alright, let's set this off:

Love. That's what we're going to talk about. To be precise...TRUE LOVE. As in, TRUE PAIRINGS. I know, this is kinda obsessive, this thing we have...but pairing people up is just NECESSARY. Don't ask why. But I'm not talking bullshit fan-fantasy pairings, like Koromaru and what's-her-face-teacher-Hermit-arcana. I'm talking actual "this is how it may as well be" ones. P3 was more rigid in this: obviously it was Yukari the Protagonist was supposed to go for; yeah, yeah, everyone fell in love with Mitsuru and Aigis but canon-wise, it's clearly Yukari. P4? Not so much...which is A LOT more fan-fantasy friendly and leaves it to your imagination. That said, I felt P4 was weaker on terms of "let's have a happy couple relationship" not because the Protagonist didn't click with X girl...but because there was someone BETTER for her to be with. Sidenote: we're ignoring most of the secondary characters for sake of focusing on the main ones. Anyways, we're going to get back to me and start off with nde:

nde's Perspective

Hetero
Chie and Yosuke: They meshed well.
Yukiko and Teddie: He'll be taken care of.
Naoto and Kanji: Fitting.
Rise and Protagonist: I ended up choosing this path.

Homo
Teddie and Protagonist: Blatant.

[prophet sez: He actually has some VERY risque things to add as well but he's a coward so he won't say it here. Funny will probably get to it.]

Lavie Rhap's Perspective

For the heterosexual relationships, I felt that the lack of a major plot point involving romances was a detriment, on terms of having a 'love story'. Persona 3's Yukari and Aigis especially stand out; Elizabeth's departure from the Velvet Room also stays with me. Persona 4 was more friendship-based, so I found it difficult to imagine 'proper' romances. Perhaps it was only me, but I saw much of our own interactions; to inexpertly shove a hackneyed 'epic' romance into Persona 4 would be folly. These are only teenagers, after all, within a period spanning one year. But since I am being pressed to provide my own interpretations on what may as well have occurred...

Naoto and Kanji are the most obvious of the pairings and provides the most humorous speculations of what may happen next in such a relationship. Yosuke and Chie's love-hate bickering was most enjoyable; I was reminded of Prophet and Ed (sorry, Pat!). Everything else is...rather open. I personally chose Ai to be with the main character; after all, who doesn't want to express their true self? Blending one's own experiences with gaming do make for a more interesting time. Now, while I can understand the undercurrent of homosexuality, only in Kanji's case does it become pronounced. As I've stated before, friendship takes priority over romance in Persona 4.

Kawaii Pattycakes' Perspective

[prophet sez: She doesn't get anything because she loves them all. ALL (with emphasis on Teddie and the Protagonist). So we'll let Funny handle this too, because as rambling as he can be, I'll make him be brief.

Oh, and she chose Naoto. "Because she's the closest to bish." Go figure.]

edthefucker's Perspective

That cousin and that uncle, where's the hentai for that shit? FUCKIN' A. [prophet/Pat/funny sez: DIE.]

Killer Ink's Perspective

I haven't played it. I'm not going to. [prophet/Pat/funny sez: LOSER.]

funny_bunny's Perspective

I wholeheartedly agree with nde! On the straight dealies, that is. Permit me to elaborate! Ok, see, Rise and the Protagonist are PERFECT for each other because they'll meet again MUCH easier! Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but what of the star-crossed love of a STAR and a COMMONER? But of course, the TRUE LOVE is that between the Protagonist and...IZANAMI.

Fufufu, but can I neglect the HOMOEROTIC FUN? Nay, I shant...for I declare: ALL MALE SOCIAL LINKS ARE FILLED WITH SEXY.

prettyprophet's Perspective

The Protagonist of P4 is a total player. That said, my view on all this is more or less a mix of everyone else's views. Even though the 'love' deal is a pretty big part of this game, it's not; friendship, motherfuckers. Out of everyone, there is no 'this is our destiny' sorta shit. There's just a whole lotta implied and 'up-to-your-imagination'. I'm still going to put P4 above P3 because P3 played more to the stock types: Yukari = normal girl, Mitsuru = regal girl, Fuuka = gentle girl, Aigis = robot girl. Like, face it, P3's social links were all, "The fuck am I doing talking to this guy?" P4 got around this by having fewer non-essentials (Death link I'm not convinced on) and my personal favorite link, the Hanged Man. It wasn't just some random person; Naoki was and will be affected by you, the player. Now I'm not saying the P4 characters weren't all types...but we were technically getting two characters for every one: shadows, yo. Look at Kanji: he's a tough guy and a softie. Or Sayoko, crazy pervert nurse that's actually dedicated to her work. See? I'm not going to declare this the most realistic game since...Cho Aniki, but the characters are at least more believable. I will say this though: this is NOT the second coming of Christ for videogame characters. Just because they have shadow sides doesn't make P4 the equivalent of Godfather; hell, it's not even Fight Club. People have more than just a shadow. A lot more. Remember that shit.

All in all, I was very happy with P4 and I would seriously like to see doujinshi for every single pairing. Again, no bullshit pairings, just actual, 'this is what may as well have happened' pairings, like the Protagonist with...practically everyone. I will disagree with nde, Lavie, Pat, Funny...Chie and Yosuke don't work. Friends yeah, sexing each other up? I can't see it. Besides, we all know that Yosuke's had that thing for Saki, even if she never would've reciprocated. Naoto and Kanji are a given. But Lavie's right, it's all so open. And for the gay POV? Trojan finally got far enough to say something and here are his words of wisdom: "Hey, you know I love Ted...and Daisuke and Kou? Threesome time! But I liked the one with Naoki best. That was pretty sweet." Word up. I don't feel the sexual myself in that one, but I can understand it.

I ended up pairing together Yukiko and the Protagonist because...well, I got to see Naoto's and Rise's thanks to Pat and Funny. No one was doing Yukiko, so I was like, what the fuck, she's cool. I think she's the only girl character where the Protagonist actually gets to spend time alone with in story-related cutscenes...ok, maybe I'm mixing it up with social links, but I figure these two have the most potential for a long-term relationship. But ultimately...I'm going to have to go with Funny and restate the Protagonist x Izanami connection. Well...that's kinda TOO poetic, so fuck it.

So there, that's how we feel about a good number of the P4 relationships. I know, we didn't touch on everything. GO YELL ABOUT IT ON OUR FORUMS AKA THE REVOLUTION. Hey Atlus, next Persona, give us girl protagonists! Don't you think it's our turn to shop for some love? BRING ON THE BOYS.

All images from BE YOUR TRUE MIND.

Rabbit Roundtable: First Annual Videogame Awards 2008 Edition - The Pleinnies

2009-01-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

So here we are with our set of awards: The Respectable Rabbit Rewards...the Pleinnies. As always, our judgment bears hefty weight and surpasses all other critics by leaps and bounds. There ARE some notable exclusions that aren't even mentioned: LittleBigPlanet...and basically anything that was 360 only. None of the Thousand Rabbits have a 360. Deal with it. Some things we just didn't get a chance to play much...and the rest we just didn't give a fuck about. Again, deal. Anyways, let's set it off.

++++++

Most Fuckable Female; Not Love, but Fuck

edthefucker: That what's-that-bitch's-name from that ocean shit. Had that lifejacket. Definitely a fucking closet freak. Dolphin fucker fo sho. [Endless Ocean]

Kawaii Pattycakes: DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI. DR. NAOMI. [No More Heroes]

Killer Ink: Wouldn't know.

funny_bunny: ROSIE. God, I HEART YOU ROSIE! All that running around must give you SUCH a toned body! You can blitz me any day~ [Valkyria Chronicles]

Lavie Rhap: I assume we must choose new characters, or at the very least, re-imagining of old characters, making the cast of Super Smash Bros. Brawl disqualified by default. I'll have to go with Lea Nichols. But that makes me sound like some sort of creepy voyeur, doesn't it? [The Experiment]

nde: I don't know.

prettyprophet: Well, this is a hard choice purely because there's been so many games where you DO FUCK other characters: Tree of Tranquility, P4. Therefore they're obviously fuckable. I can't do the obvious; that's such a cop-out. Most fuckable of 2008: Sylvia Christel, that fucking loon. [No More Heroes]

1000 Rabbit Consensus: The ladies of No More Heroes.

++++++

Most Fuckable Male; Not Love, but Fuck

edthefucker: That fucking bitch cousin in GTA . Fuck him. [Grand Theft Auto IV]

Kawaii Pattycakes: TEDDIE. TEDDIE. TEDDIE. [Persona 4]

Killer Ink: Wouldn't know.

funny_bunny: I want to get inside Teddie and grope his stuffing out. [Persona 4]

Lavie Rhap: Kanji Tatsumi. While Teddie's winning charm is understandable and has consumed several Rabbits, I find Kanji's blending of embarrassment and bluster very endearing. Kanji, let's talk again in a few years, ok? [Persona 4]

nde: I don't know.

prettyprophet: Mao. That kid needs a good fucking. [Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice]

1000 Rabbit Consensus: The boys of Persona 4.

++++++

Most Fan-Fantasy Friendly

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Not only is there no argument but there's also no other alternatives. It's Persona-fucking-4. Does ANYTHING surpass the overall good will possessed by this semi-dating-sim? You've got Yosuke x Chie, Yukiko x Teddie, Kanji x Naoto, main character x anyone, schoolgirl idols, lolipop cousins (ain't that great, you incest-loving fucks?), rugged detective uncles (EVEN BETTER INCEST), neglected mothers, devilish nurses, the Strength threesome, the ever-hot Margaret, and MORE. It'd be easy to blame Pat, Ed, and Funny for infesting our minds with filth, but seriously, those developers? They fucking knew what they were doing. They knew.

++++++

Most Wanted to Drown in the Depths of Obscurity So We Don't Have to Hear Anymore Idiotic Fan Arguments/Masturbation Sessions

edthefucker: Persona 4. Jesus, shut the fuck up.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Fallout 3 is GROSS.

Killer Ink: Left 4 Dead.

funny_bunny: Persona 4! Like, get over it, YOU MEGATEN LOSERS.

Lavie Rhap: Frankly, no fanbase for specific games bothers me. Console discussion is more upsetting.

nde: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

prettyprophet: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Ew.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. Look Atlus, where's the fucking SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI IV? Don't go pulling a "let's wait until the next generation for the next core series release" shit. Oh also, MGS4 never ceases to piss us off.

++++++

Most Likely to Transplant Self Into

edthefucker: Valkyria Chronicles. Show you how to do a genocide right.

Kawaii Pattycakes: PERSONA 4 means LOTS OF SEXY SHOUNEN.

Killer Ink: I'd like to do paintings of sea life one day. So Endless Ocean.

funny_bunny: Siren: Blood Curse: so I can FIGHT ZOMBIES and EAT MEATLOAF.

Lavie Rhap: Farming in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Ah, the pastoral life!

nde: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. City suffocates.

prettyprophet: Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI. I made myself in it and I'm a general of Wei. Fuck, if only I could do a coup...

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Technically the Thousand Rabbits have already been put into three games: Etrian Odyssey 2: Heroes of Lagaard, Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI, and Valhalla Knights 2. But for flavor's sake, we all would fit into Persona 4...probably even more than Persona 3. Funny's definitely Teddie, Pat's Rise, Ed's the TRUE KILLER, Ink's Naoto, Lavie's Margaret, nde's the main character again, and I, prophet, would probably end up taking Chie's role. You know, we've actually designated Funbuns' name as the main character's due to his hair, only for that idiot to have it cut. Funny, you fucked it up and now the main character LOOKS LIKE NOBODY.

++++++

Most Educational Game That Can Be Applied to Our Daily Lives

edthefucker: Spore shows that there's no god. Hey Christfuckers, suck on those nuts.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Persona 4 taught me to be smart and diligent and understanding and expressive and brave! Then everyone likes you and wants to CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Killer Ink: As Persona 4 displays, even Shadows can gain souls.

funny_bunny: I learned to be responsible and family-ness in Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. Then I learned that we must cross blades on the STAGE OF HISTORY. Then I learned that THE SHADOW SELF MUST BE ACCEPTED.

Lavie Rhap: I found through Left 4 Dead that our teamwork needs dire improving.

nde: Sharks and eels won't attack you in Endless Ocean.

prettyprophet: Valkyria Chronicles, as far as I can tell, is the only game to make a blatant comparison with the Holocaust. Guys, let's start making games that deal with racism in a less clumsy way.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. Who hasn't dealt with their dark side? Check this shit out, you face your other self and boom, you'll be able to summon demons, solve murder-mysteries, and score with a ton of people who barely know you.

++++++

Most Disappointing Game That We Knew Would Be Disappointing

edthefucker: Persona 4 is shit just like Persona 3. It's all mainstream bullshit. Fuck those bitches.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Fallout 3? THAT'S AN INSULT TO RPGS.

Killer Ink: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Epic, sure. Like Michael Bay.

funny_bunny: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King...WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO LISTEN TO PAT??? THAT FIEND.

Lavie Rhap: I was interested in Fallout 3 but at the same time quite wary. By the time I paid attention to it again, it had been released for a month. All in all, a lukewarm experience.

nde: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

prettyprophet: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Man, Hayter, you must have been pissed to deal with all that shit.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots sucked because it was an over-indulgent by-the-numbers wrap-up. Art? Fuck you. Oh ok, let us make some fifteen minute cutscenes of silted action where nothing really happens and when stuff does happen you feel so goddamn impotent, not because you're a decrepit geezer, but because the game just won't let you put a bullet in Ocelot's head since he has to keep talking and make stupid gestures. We had a feeling all this would happen and lo, it fucking did. Were any of us surprised? Hey, the ending sure was a surprise. They found a way to drag it out even longer and that was UNCANNY. Bravo.

++++++

Most Disappointing Game That Sucker Punched Us in the Solar Plexus

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice. MAO CANNOT COMPARE TO LAHARL. And I hate his glasses!

Killer Ink: Baroque. Too clumsy.

funny_bunny: Dokapon Kingdom: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS. BUT IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOW. Destroyed patience!

Lavie Rhap: I'd have to say Spore due to how simplistic everything before the space era felt. Things also become monotonous rather quickly if one does not develop non-in-game goals.

nde: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. I wasn't really surprised though.

prettyprophet: Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness. Seriously could not play it. Fuck that stylus.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Hey, none of us were expecting a new game; fighters are probably the least likely to go through any major changes. It's just that for all the delays...it wasn't enough. But it's still the group game of choice and the cutscenes in it beat the piss out of MGS4.

+++++

Most Awesome Game That We Knew Would be Awesome

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: PERSONA 4.

Killer Ink: Persona 4.

funny_bunny: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: RING OF FATES.

Lavie Rhap: Personally, due to the sheer audience good-will, Persona 4 would be my choice. However, I simply cannot ignore Sins of a Solar Empire, which is my strategy, as well as overall, game of the year.

nde: I liked Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility but since there were bugs, I'm going Persona 4. But in truth, bugs were expected.

prettyprophet: Valkyria Chronicles. Yeah, I don't think I need to pimp out P4 anymore so here's to Squad 7.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Valkyria Chronicles. Whoa, what the fuck? Not P4? Nah, fuck that, it's a sequel. We're going to reward some originality here; from SEGA, thank the fucking Moon Rabbit. C'mon guys, with HotD: Overkill and a SHINING SRPG...DON'T FUCK IT UP. Anyways, Valkyria. Persona. Get both or fuck off.

++++++

Most Awesome Game That Was Totally Inconceivable

edthefucker: None. It's all shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Left 4 Dead I really liked! BUT I DON'T PLAY FPS??

Killer Ink: Audiosurf. Addictive.

funny_bunny: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core! Playing it was FUN. DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING ELSE LIKE THAT BASTARD SEPHIROTH OR GACKT-FACE. Nonetheless, moi liked a FF game?? WORLD'S END IS NIGH.

Lavie Rhap: I didn't know a thing about Theresia and I'm very glad I didn't. Should be rather cheap compared to other DS titles; get it without reading any reviews!

nde: Prince of Persia. Reminds me of ICO.

prettyprophet: The World Ends With You...HOLY SHIT. A SQUARE GAME. Yeah, that's fucking right. No playa hate here, it's all about the games.

1000 Rabbit Consensus: Persona 4. To be completely honest, none of us expected this to be on par with P3. Rush-job to play off the fans. We were wrong and it made P3 look like crap. Props yo.

++++++

Blah blah, here's the usual list of awards:

Best Action: Prince of Persia
Best FPS: Left 4 Dead
Best Light-Gun: The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return
Best Shooter: (none of us played Space Invaders Get Even yet but let's just assume it's awesome)
Best Platformer: Bionic Commando Rearmed
Best Sandbox: Yakuza 2
Best Fighter: Soul Calibur IV
Best Adventure: A Vampyre Story
Best RTS: Sins of a Solar Empire
Best RPG: Persona 4
Best Turn-based: Valkyria Chronicles
Best MMO: Shin Megami Tensei: IMAGINE (default win due to none of us playing new MMOs)
Best Racer: Need for Speed: Undercover (default win, only one all of us played; PS: it's shit)
Best Sports: Wii Fit (default win, also shit)
Best Scary Shit: Theresia
Best Rhythm: Patapon
Best Sim: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility
Best Visual Novel: (Funny: BOLLOCKS TO THAT)
Best Puzzle: Professor Layton and the Curious Village

Best Visuals: Valkyria Chronicles - Sega
Best Concept Art: Persona 4 - Shigenori Soejima <-head over to DOKUGANRYU
Best Music: Persona 4 - Shoji Meguro
Best Story: Persona 4 - Atlus
Best Portable: Newest DJ Max!
Best Co-op: Left 4 Dead - Valve
Best Co-hate: Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Nintendo
Best Zen: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility - Natume
Best Fan-translation: Eternal Punishment 2: Innocent Sin

Best Character of 2008: Persona 4's Teddie, voiced by Dave Wittenberg

Best Game of 2008: Valkyria Chronicles

++++++

And there you have it. Feel free to argue with us all you want; we probably won't listen.

*Images from Be Your True Mind, Danbooru, and Google.

Rabbit Review: 2008

2009-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

What's the 2008 verdict??

edthefucker: BEST FUCKING YEAR. Did 2007 have Twilight? Fuck no it didn't.

Kawaii Pattycakes: It had PERSONA 4, VALKYRIA, MOTHER 3 -- (and she went on listing a fuckload of stuff)

Killer Ink: I didn't get to travel as much. I wish I gone to Sydney.

Lavie Rhap: Well, I wouldn't say that 2008 had the best cap-off but since we're all sitting here together, I'd think of it as a good year.

prettyprophet: Fuck, I don't even remember anymore. Next year, just worrying about next year. It's gonna be FUCKING headaches.

nde: I could really go for some more champagne.

funny_bunny: HAVE A TANGY TWO-OH-OH-NINE!!!

funny_bunny addendum: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON JANUARY FIRST LIKE THE WORDPRESS VERSION BUT I FORGOT, OHOHOHOHO.

Rabbit Review: Oxide 2x

2009-01-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

Title: Oxide 2x
Artist: Hyung-Tae Kim
ISBN: 4-7577-2095-5
Publisher: Enterbrain
First Published: January 2005
Format: Hardcover, 7.5 x 10.5 inches
Language: Japanese
Pages: 176
Purchase Price: $34 US
Purchased From: Yesasia
Extras: None

In November 2005, Magna Carta: Tears of Blood was released, published by Atlus. It was a spiritual sequel to Magna Carta: Phantom of Avalanche and may have had a successful run in Japan, since a PSP version was created and there have been rumors of an Xbox360 sequel. However, in the Western world, Tears of Blood wasn’t received as such, on the account of the banal graphics and awful voice acting. Ah, if I could stop there…but I continue. The Korean RPG played out like an unholy union of Shadow Hearts and Star Ocean, taking the best features from each series and throwing them out the window. The question we have to ask now is: what was the saving grace? The answer? There wasn’t any. But there was one mitigating factor: the artwork was done by Hyung-Tae Kim.

Recollect the mantra “sex sells”. If sales were based purely on that, anything done by Hyung-Tae Kim would fly off the shelves. It’s impossible to look at his art and not think impure thoughts. Eyes that would make you swoon, a trim figure, and skin-tight clothing that reveals ample thighs…bear in mind, this is the description of Calintz, the male protagonist of Tears of Blood. And as for Kim’s ladies? Voluptuous is the word. Masculinity, femininity, and androgyny; all blended together through the craft of Kim. Characters are poised and posed in the most captivating ways, as if being without flair would cause the collapse of the universe.

And so we have a book from Hyung-Tae Kim, an artist whose talents deserve better treatment than the aforementioned game. Just because a game is bad doesn’t mean all aspects follow suit, no?

Oxide 2x is the Japanese print of Kim’s artwork from 1999-2004. There was previously a Korean release of OXIDE: The Art of Genesis, hence the ‘2x’ in this one’s title. It so happens that the Korean version of Oxide 2x, Oxide 2: Carta Numinous, has less pages than the Japanese since OXIDE covered Kim’s earlier work but contains extra art not seen in Oxide 2x. Slightly confusing, yes? Of course, that’s all irrelevant since the Korean books are no longer in print and the Japanese release is the only one we have before us.

The artwork isn’t in chronological order, with oldest to newest. Rather, it’s the opposite, starting with Magna Carta: Tears of Blood and ending at The War of Genesis III, with sketchwork to close. Magna Carta: Tears of Blood, known in the East as Magna Carta: Crimson Stigmata, totals 43 pages, with each page usually holding a single character. Exceptions would be the illustrations done for cover art, promotion, etc. This is understandably Kim’s most polished work in the book, as it is his latest. A wonderful addition is that for every character, their names, date drawn, resolution, and file size are included.

Chapter Two is 2001’s Magna Carta: The Phantom of Avalanche, released in South Korea and nowhere else. Curious to see how Tears of Blood’s Calintz contrasted Phantom of Avalanche’s. The 37 pages here are just like the preceding chapter, but also squeezing in a brief “How to Paint” guide. By ‘brief’, I mean that it is ‘exceedingly brief’. No words, just a series of small images showing the coloring of the character Chelsea. Not sure how helpful it is since I’m no expert on painting via CG. (funny_bunny: Look at the photo of Kim’s desk! I use the exact same pencil he does!)

Pages 87 to 160, which are the next two chapters, consist of War of Genesis III and War of Genesis III: Part 2. Another series by Softmax; another series that I wouldn’t count on reaching stateside. Several of characters share the same page, possibly due to the amount of them. This is especially evident in the War of Genesis III section. It’s Kim’s most early work, but his technique isn’t all too different, so no worries there. Thankfully, Part 2 is mostly spared from that kind of formatting, as that’s my favored chapter. The remaining chapter, made up of 14 pages, is packed with various rough sketches, most of it from the Phantom of Avalanche section. Interestingly enough, the back cover of Oxide 2x advertises itself as having 50 sketches. I suppose that’s true in the sense that there are 50 individual sketches; they’re just spread out over 14 pages.

Judgement:
Oxide 2x is definitely an artbook to get. With the majority of it rich with Hyung-Tae Kim’s illustrations, what’s not to love? Hardcover, two-paged spreads; all of it very professional and clean. Really, all it boils down to is whether or not you’re fond of Kim’s art. As he’s stated in interviews, he is intentionally sensual and sexual. And I, for one, can applaud that.

Author:
Lavie Rhap is a freelance writer who contributes to a number of sites and zines using multiple pseudonyms. Once thought that Super Smash Bros. was a sequel to Super Mario Bros.

Consultants:
prettyprophet is hot-tempered hellion who is always right. Lead singer in a band that constantly changes names and only does secret shows (mainly because they suck).

Kawaii Pattycakes is a self-admitted otaku with thousands of dollars worth in figures. Bought all of “Planet Blood” because she hoped it would be done by THE Hyung-Tae Kim; was sadly mistaken.

funny_bunny is an aficionado of artbooks and craves sushi. Supplies artbooks and recipes to Lavie for reviewing and cooking.

*Images from forgotten or unknown sources. May have been DGP or Hyung-taekim.org.

Rabbit Review: Hagu’s Hardboiled Wonderland

2008-12-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

Name: Hagumi Hanamoto
Series: Honey & Clover
Sculptor: Kobayashi Shin (Long Long)
Maker: Alter
Figure Type: 1/8 scale PVC
First Release: June 2007
Purchase Price: $60
Purchased From: HLJ

The grass is wet. Green. Unspoiled. This isn't a place for man but here he is, arm's length away from a girl. A fresh one; she's no duchess, that's for sure. A toadstool like an adolescent's phallus, complete with a drip of tiny bird on top. Makes him a bit sick, thinking about what might just happen next.

It was a week back and all he had was the drink. He was hungry. Course he was, otherwise he wouldn't have taken the job. Must be how old folks feel once the world stops giving a shit about them. Phone rang. He listened. Shouldn't have. But he did.

"You're a detective?" The kid was young. Didn't like him. "Hattie's Diner. We'll talk there."

Hattie's is a bad place in a bad area. You don't go there to eat. You go there to talk. And the talk is always bad.

The kid was already there. Outside, waiting.

"You're fucking late. You're a detective? You look like you just got off your ma's teats."

"Likewise."

"Fuck you. Here's the photos."

"Coffee."

"Fuck you. We're talking out here. You think you're hot shit? That why you don't got any work? I'd tell you to sell your ass but you look like you've already been 'round the block."

He looked through. Another girl. "Who's paying?"

"Fuck you, that's who."

"The Colonel."

"Heh, guess you're smarter than you look. Now, just find the girl."

"No." He walked away.

"Double the usual." said the kid. He stopped.

Wouldn't be hard to find her. Just another one of the Colonel's girls. That's what he thought. He was wrong. She was different. No one seen her. No one knew her. Word said she was some sort of artist. Never did understand art. So he talked to someone who did.

"Dame like that? Ain't city. Check those eyes. Doesn't seem the type to fuck and go. This for a case, right?"

He drove out 30 miles, out to Coen's Crossing. Never been there in the spring.

The girl hasn't noticed him yet. She's got a leaf for an umbrella. It's not raining yet.

"Excuse me." She turns. Photos can't do reality justice. "The Colonel wants you back."

There's no change in expression. Maybe a tilt of her head, like a kitten. "You don't know him?"

The bird hops around. Still not agitated. He wondered how he should tell the kid he lost her, that he wouldn't work for the Colonel ever again when a child with rabbit ears clubbed him in the back.

"Ohoho! Is the flamingo not an excellent blunt instrument? Of course it is. But as a leaf sounds like sheath, mayhaps it feels the same as well? My dear, I applaud your choice in arms! But that is a lie; how can I applaud when my hands are filled with pink? And you cannot applaud yourself, not with those precious hands grasped together like that! I daresay a filthy mind would translate your actions into something more unsavory but then again, I dare not. Then let our feathered friend sitting there applaud for us! But how can he applaud; he has no hands! Stamping of his feet then, which we could do ourselves, making his presence completely unnecessary unless one is an aesthete; after all, we are artists, are we not? Surely we are! Do we not have flowers in our hair? And flour is nourishment; that is why people should eat cake. Ah, cake, filler of bellies...but not the soul. No, only the artist can provide such enrichment! Sadly, the artist is never rich; the rich are never artists. Money makes one safe from harm/No need for suffering and sadness/Makes one stay on the farm/Because banality is happiness! But that's not correct either! Have you watched Gossip Girl? Always affluent angsty Anglos! And I have no doubt about thy own bitter and beautiful world; or have thou not sunk thy teeth into such meate? Ha! Bewitching angel, come take a journey with Yours Truly, and we shall slake our intellectual lusts! Off into the Rabbit Hole we go!"

He rises out of the blackness and calls the kid.

"And?"

"She's in wonderland."

And he hangs up.

And here, have an ACTUAL review of hot-stuff Hagu!

Author:
funny_bunny dressed up like Philip Marlowe and the March Hare during the writing of this post. Will dress up like Deidara next when he creates a 2D-sprite-based Naruto x Wuthering Heights shoot-em-up.

Photographer:
Aerith's Bitch burnt an effigy of funny_bunny for making unwholesome comments about Hagu. Thanks super rats for tutorials that have enhanced his life in over a thousand ways.

Rabbit Roundtable: What about WALL-E?

2008-11-14T19:55:00.001-08:00

Verdict: What-a-pile-of-rubbish-only-white-people-could-think-of-fuck-them-all.

prettyprophet: Hoho, just fucking around. We're not THAT much of snobs. Well, I'm not.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I'm downloading WALL-E WALLPAPERS right THIS VERY MOMENT.

funny_bunny: Send when done!

prettyprophet: If you haven't guessed, WALL-E pretty much charmed the pants off everyone. But I think that's because we all saw it in Trojan's theater of a basement with a new plasma TV, Blu-ray, and surround sound.

Killer Ink: And people were drunk.

prettyprophet: Yes they fucking were. It wasn't piss-drunk or anything, it was a good time.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I was drunk. And it was a very good time.

funny_bunny: I wasn't drunk. And it was an EVEN GOODER TIME.

prettyprophet: You've never been drunk. You're just...something.

funny_bunny: I touched nde's inner thigh.

prettyprophet: So yeah, Trojan comes up to us all excited and he's like, "WALL-E. Blu-ray. New TV. Check it." We're all, "Oh, plasma, sweet. And WALL-E you say? I haven't seen it yet!" And Funbuns just gets all wide-eyed and he goes, "Can I use your Blu-ray burner?"

funny_bunny: I want to MAXIMIZE THE POWER OF THE PS3.

Killer Ink: The only reason why 'Blu-ray' is amazing to Funny is because no one has a Blu-ray burner yet. But now Whopper has one. He got WALL-E for Trojan.

prettyprophet: Wasn't for free though. Then again, Trojan insisted on paying Whopper so what the hell.

funny_bunny: Now FUNNY will look terrible if he does not pay for goods and services!

Killer Ink: You never pay anyways.

funny_bunny: I paid for everyone's lunch once!

prettyprophet: Yeah, you paid for everyone when everyone was just you and nde. If another one of us were there, THEN it'd count as everyone.

funny_bunny: I stand by my statement.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I sit on your face.

funny_bunny: Fufufufu.

prettyprophet: Anyways, since this is like, the only movie EVERYONE fucking watched together, thoughts?

Kawaii Pattycakes: Sugoi!

Killer Ink: Entertaining.

funny_bunny: SUBLIME.

prettyprophet: Yeah, I'll say it's magic too. nde, talk.

nde: It was good.

prettyprophet: I know Lavie liked it...and Ed, he fucking loved it.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Uh huh, he's got the OST in his car!

prettyprophet: Course, since he's a dick, first thing he says once the credits hit: "OH MY GOD, FUCK PETER GABRIEL THAT FAGGOT."

Killer Ink: He was more vocal on the environmentalist issue, however.

prettyprophet: Oh yeah, after when we're all just chillaxing, all Ed would talk about was "how fucking shit the movie was and it was all just bullshit fear-mongering by douche-sniffing liberals". But we all know he jerks it to EVE.

Kawaii Pattycakes: He has it on BLU-RAY TOO NOW.

funny_bunny: Wait wait wait wait, Ed has burner now??

Kawaii Pattycakes: Dunno!

prettyprophet: Ok, more thoughts. Um, fuck Nick and Nora, THIS is the shit.

funny_bunny: Fuck Slumdogs!

prettyprophet: Yeah Lavie, chew on that. Slumdogs GOT NOTHIN'. Let the Right One In? INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE BIN.

Killer Ink: This is what happens whenever other Rabbits aren't around.

Kawaii Pattycakes: We sneeze lots!

prettyprophet: Thanks to Ed and me. We talk so much shit. Ok, Ed talks shit, I just talk anecdotes. And Funbuns talks lies. And Pat talks sexual fantasy pairings.

funny_bunny: So what's everyone's fav part? NO SPOILERS.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Dancing!

Killer Ink: Also sprach Zarathustra.

nde: Love.

prettyprophet: Thomas fucking Newman. And 'Wanted' signs.

And Lavie says hers is M-O and WALL-E's handshake. Ed's is the trapped robot in space. And I'm not gonna do the rest of the Rabbits because fuck the rest of you.

funny_bunny: EVERYTHING. Especially SLO-MO.

prettyprophet: Explosions are cool.

funny_bunny: EVE is so beautiful.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I'm writing WALL-E fic now!

funny_bunny: SEND THE WALL-E WALLIES.

prettyprophet: Ugh. Hey, is it just me listening to oldies hardcore now? Fucking Fallout.

Killer Ink: It's nostalgia affecting your sensibilities.

prettyprophet: Definitely, since I lived through the 40s in America, listening to The Ink Spots and breaking down racial barriers. Fuck you.

funny_bunny: Psssssssssst guys, prophet's growing a small penis and dying her hair red and being a SADIST.

prettyprophet: Hey, someone's gotta be the Ed when Ed's not around.

funny_bunny: Hey hey, I just bought it on BLU-RAY.

Killer Ink: Weren't you going to have Whopper get you a copy?

funny_bunny: TWO DISCS! And I got GOTH'S CAGE while at it!

Kawaii Pattycakes: Oh, maybe I'll do that too! No wait, I WILL!

prettyprophet: Stop, just stop fucking spending money. Actually no, Pat, you stop, funny you keep spending. And give me WALL-E after.

Killer Ink: Blu-ray, prophet.

prettyprophet: Son of a buddha. Alright, time to snag a PS3. nde, get a card, I'm maxed.

Kawaii Pattycakes: YASUSHI SUZUKI!

funny_bunny: Let's get sushi!

Killer Ink: We've drifted.

prettyprophet: Word, anyways, WALL-E. Watch that shit because it is fantastic and heart-warming. We think it may even have caused romantic stirrings between nde and Lavie. So, as the PR Rabbit, I ORDER YOU TO WATCH.

funny_bunny: I WANT TO SET THE WORLD ON FIRE.

prettyprophet: Whoa, simmer down, Heath.

RABBIT REVEAL: Hainan Cholera Outbreak Is Cover Story For Massive Zombie Infection

2008-11-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

"Today, students who were off campus could not enter even with their students passes. The guards told them to take a three-day vacation. The off-campus students said that it was not sure whether things were serious inside the campus or it was even more unsafe outside.

I did not think about going down to the cafeteria at all. Perhaps I was scared off by what I saw when I walked past the cafeterias after class. There were crowds out the entrance and the university workers were yelling: "Do not enter. Please do not push. It is already full inside. Even if you get in, you won't get any food." There were many students dressed in camouflage uniforms trying to maintain order. They chased waves and waves of students back out. Even the temporary stands outside the cafeteria for instant noodles were mobbed. There was a notice which said that the cafeteria which re-opened yesterday is closed today because of water stoppage. The workers watched the people from the second floor. As I walked past this cafeteria, I heard a male student yell from the second floor: "I want to eat food, I want to drink water."

When I got back to the dormitory, there were more notices downstairs. Two notices were new: water was stopped and the Internet will be down tomorrow. Everybody howled in collective agony again. I don't think cholera is scary. But the lack of supply of the various essential things in daily life is the true terror.

I just learned that the water has been turned back on. I can make noodles."

Breaking news: China is now ground zero for an outbreak of panic, rape, looting, and delicious brain-eating.

This is Dionysos J. Juju, reporting live from Shanghai. I've been assigned here to cover Mr. Obama's effects on the heathen Chinee populace but I think I speak for all of us when I say: FUCK THAT!!!!!!

ZOMBIES. THERE ARE ZOMBIES POURING INTO CHINA'S BEAUTIFUL CAPITAL OF FASHION AND BOUTIQUES AND BEIJING IS SOOOOOOO CLOSET-HOMO.

Oh, Patti Fujifilm, I'm told you are at the scene of the madness. How's things over there? Thumbs up?

Patti: Sorry J. Juju but I'm afraid my connection might get cut off any second now because the officials have sealed off the entire sector so my sentences are going to go all run-on and splot! I am watching some G-men in really sinister-looking suits take away an old man...I think he's a professor. Or maybe a dissident! COULD ALL THIS BE A RUSE FOR PURGES!!?!?!? Cameraman Edward Woodcock, what do you think?

Woodcock: Obama is going to JIHAD the rice out China now. Nuclear zombie APOCALYPSE. Got rice bitch? Not anymore.

Patti: Oh my god, now they're resorting to cannibalism! AHHHHHHHH HORRIBLE PIERCING SHIERKS!!! RED RAIN RED RAIN!!!! WE'RE CURSED, DOOMED!! MUST KILL, SHARE SUFFERING.

Woodcock: Yo, fucking white people mucking up in my Siren.

Patti: Chea! Little Japanese girls ftw. Back to you, Juju!

Juju: There you have it, astonishing reports from our intrepid Patti Fujifilm. I can only pray that the world hears of this; let not the great Firewall of China filter our truth! ZOMBIES ARE COMING. ZOMBIES ARE COMING. BOARD UP YOUR WINDOWS! GATHER CANNED FOOD! STOCK UP ON AMMO! GET SOME TYPEWRITERS!!!!!!

And now some words from our sponsors!

pinkoprophet: So I was doing a term essay that's due tomorrow when I get this message from Funny: "CHINA! ZOMBIES! COVER UPS! SARS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Less than ten seconds later, nde's like, "Funny just sent this: 'LEFT 4 DEAD IN REAL LIFE, WORLD WAR Z BEGINS!!!!'

Then, this from Lavie: "Is it just me or has Funny gone on a zombie binge: 'Lavie, I thought about this for a long time and I didn't know how to tell you in person.........so here it is. THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC HAS A ZOMBIE PANDEMIC ON THEIR HANDS.'

As you can see, that coconut has been sending this around very rapidly. I kinda do hope there's zombies though. That way the march of the volunteers can do a little twist into an easy-going, flesh-eating shuffle. Why not? Anyone who believes all that shit's already dead to the world.

Oh yeah, Siren: Blood Curse. It's actually a metaphor for how Obamamania causes the utter collapse of the Western Sphere, allowing Hugo Chavez to fill Europe and North America with true left-wing ideals, creating total bliss and allowing movies like Twilight to prosper. Now that's future worth fighting for!

*Since we've made multiple references to politics, social struggles, and zombies, clearly this is a serious blog. Hey, we WERE the ones to bring you this doozy.

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Bonus #001

2008-10-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

"...and God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That's flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Bonus Issue #001 - Learn Not to Burn

Kawaii Pattycakes: I like to say sugoi. And this is the most sugoi of all.

prettyprophet: Some people, should they discover that their friends are drawing rape fantasies featuring said people, would freak out and run the hell away. Needless to say, I'm not one of those people.

funny_bunny: I would hope not. We couldn't BEAR to be without you!

prettyprophet: Remember how we said 'no more doujinshi'? We were lying. Well, Funny was lying.

Kawaii Pattycakes: A little secret FUNNY thing for Happo Bijin's Sweet Body!

funny_bunny: So funny, it's MONEY.

prettyprophet: If you haven't clicked the comic yet, please do. Please fucking do. Got it? Yeah. Ed finally got Funny to do porn. I know, I know, Funny's did this before. This is nothing new. But drawing his friends, although copied from hentai artists, and slipping it into releases? Yeah, that's Funny for you.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Aren't you flattered? I like Pyro Jack's breasts more than your breasts.

prettyprophet: Thanks, slut. Anyways, since it was me who 'starred' in this shit, I'm explaining it, fuck off Funny.

Panel One

For those not in the know: the Incubus is Ed, Baphomet is Ink, Nyx is Lavie, and Pyro's me. Even though this is ostensibly Megaten, I emphasize the fact that pretty much everything is taken from random bits of our lives. Yes, World Tree Madness, blah blah blah, but we ditched it for Usagiten.

So this conversation really did happen. If you know Ed, this shouldn't surprise you one bit. Funny copied off Nekoi Mie for Pyro's face, mainly because of our wonderful discussion on relations between Nekoi and Chika Umino. PS: Umino's not Nekoi, so Pat, shut it.

Panel Two

This probably came from one of our talks on what was under the Pyro Jack's cloak. Funny's in love with Mechafetus and remembered that Pyro girl. Don't ask me how that turned into him copying off the hentai circle Zettai Shoujo. Pat loves Raita, the artist. And before you go, "Oh Pat's a girl, what is she, a lesbo dyke??"...this is the girl who INSISTED funbuns to do Sweet Body. You know what she also insists? Fucking yaoi by the bish-load. Look, Pat and Ed, they know their obscure asian shit, even more than me.

Panel Three

Oh Nekoi, you're a darling. Yes, this came from a Nekoi Mie doujinshi, I forget which one. Funny forgets which one. And Pat is completely in her Melty Blood zone so I can't get her attention. Oh, the moment I start talking about doujinshi she snaps out of it. Here we go: Digital Love. Hey, I recognize this. I think funny was going to use it for the Umino Rabbit Reveal...but we chose the FLCL instead because...it's fucking FLCL porn.

Also, 'boss'. I'm not even bothering to explain that.

Panel Four

In reality, I never did hear Ed talk about wanting to rape me. What happened was me and Pat (not me and Lavie) walked up to them and Funny, who was there, just points at Ed and goes, "ED WANTS TO RAPE YOU". And Ed? He's all, "Tadow bitch. Whacha gonna do?" And that was essentially that.

No, the entire issue wasn't really about Ed's rape fantasies although I bet funny had a kick drawing them. Everything is about the punchline from Lavie: "Rape. It isn't funny." Ok, here I go with a long-ass explanation for all you kids out there.

It was me, Pat, Ed, and Funny. We were sitting around before class started, I don't know why Ed was there because he wasn't in the class, whatever. So Ed and Pat are arguing because apparently Pat tried to rape Ed by lacing his drink the other night. Pat, in a moment of bizarre rationalism, counters with the fact that Ed hit her up with absinthe "just to see what she'd do". I'm not joking, that's all he wanted to know; I was there and I brought her to my house. Anyways, so we were sitting there, talking about whether or not Ed raping Pat would actually be rape, considering that a) she enjoys it b) Ed's her boyfriend c) she's as equally likely to try some sort of fucked up sexual shit with him. Light topic, lots of laughs.

Class ends. We all get ready to leave. Out of NOWHERE, this one guy with loads of sweat on his forehead who we've seen once or twice in the class, just stops in front of us and says, "Rape. It's not funny."

Now if it was just me, Pat and Funny, we would've been like "Wtf yo, get out." Funny would've definitely cracked up. No, it wasn't just us.

Ed just freezes and stares right into the guy's eyes, gives his trademark sneer, and says: "Bitch, it's hilarious."

So that was the first and last time that one guy ever talked to us. Probably because we constantly repeat that phrase everyday now. Whenever someone mentions rape? "Shut the fuck up. Rape? Not funny!" In a way, it's kinda scary because if there was ever a "shit's about to go down" moment in a fucking linguistics class...that would be it. Plus if that kid goes off the deep end, we'd be on his hit list.

And now you all know the story behind that line.

funny_bunny: Wow, I really liked that story! Especially because I was in it!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I miss that guy. He once wore a Castlevania tee!

prettyprophet: Oh, you mean like Nate's Castlevania tee? Fucking gross.

Kawaii Pattycakes: That's exactly it!

prettyprophet: Ok, I don't know where we're going with this anymore. Um, Ed got Funny into a rape fantasy which was really just a medium so Funny could use the rape line. This was all Ed and Funny because I wouldn't have let that shit slide. Course, since Funbuns is chief, if he wants to draw his friends in sexual misadventures, he can. He can because I can't stop him. What I can do, is ridicule him mercilessly in later issues.

funny_bunny: Good gameplan!

Kawaii Pattycakes: Thumbs up! WHEN'S YAOI?

funny_bunny: NO MORE DOUJINSHI! OPERATION BIGTIME SHOWTIME BEGINS.

prettyprophet: It's a go-go.

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - #0001

2008-10-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

"The wind wakes unknown
Secrets to the surface
nani ka ga ima kawari sou de
shitsu kushi ta mono subete o tsunagi awase tara
tobira ga hirai ta (I-I-I see again!)"

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil COLOR Cover (designed by edthefucker)
Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0001 - Reality is a Harsh Mistress

prettyprophet: Hey kids, come for your cake.

funny_bunny: It is filled with Vitamin M.

Kawaii Pattycakes: MEGATEN!!1

prettyprophet: Fuck, I'm falling asleep. Alright, cover is in color, courtesy of Ed. I'm not even going to explain that.

edthefucker: What, bitch, explain. It's billion times better than that gay shit you did for Etrian.

prettyprophet: We had a gajillion more references than yours. Elmer Fudd, hm? Elmer fuck off.

funny_bunny: Nothing is better than DARK HOUR.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Sorry Ed-o, P3 = rawk.

edthefucker: Shit on all of you. Get out. Get the fuck out.

funny_bunny: It's cold outside!

prettyprophet: It's cold inside. Funbuns, turn on the heat.

funny_bunny: NEVER.

prettyprophet: Since Ink and Lavie aren't here, and I don't feel like explaining, we leave everything to Chief Funbuns. Take it.

edthefucker: Take it like the bitch you are.

funny_bunny: Ooooo you talk so dirty.

Panel One

Pixie! SMT pentagram! Mass Destruction by SHOJI MEGURO! QUOTES FROM EPIC OF GILGAMESH!

Panel Two

MEGATEN NOCTURNE SUMMONING! Hey look, I have that shirt. Not as REVEALING THOUGH.

Panel Three

Kaneko art! Of the LATEST PIXIE. I love you too, Pixie, for you dia my soul! Look nde, grubby hands and FINGERNAILS. Nails must be long and pink and dainty like mine.

Panel Four

Hey, who drew my penis that long? I don't EVEN HAVE a penis, fufufu!

edthefucker: That was the worst fucking explanation I've ever heard. But this comic's a piece of shit anyways.

prettyprophet: Ignore ed, he happens to have too many beads up his ass. Anyways, there's your incoherent explanation by Funbuns. It's your usual style steal from Totan Kobako and Okota. The bishie pixie was...actually just drawn by funny freestyle. I guess the eyes are kinda Kaneko.

funny_bunny: Arms from LOVELESS.

Kawaii Pattycakes: OMG THAT HAS THE BEST ARTBOOK EVER.

prettyprophet: Better than Lily Hoshino's?

Kawaii Pattycakes: Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr they both make me SQUEE!!!!!

edthefucker: They make her wet too.

prettyprophet: I prefer Hoshino...but that's like saying I'd rather get shot in the head than pulled apart by bulls.

funny_bunny: Bull penis!

prettyprophet: Sammi Cheng's married, yo.

edthefucker: What a whore.

Kawaii Pattycakes: We NEED to watch Tea Fight. Erika Toda's in it! ERIKA TODA.

prettyprophet: We know. I was the one who told you. Shut up.

funny_bunny: NO MORE DOUJINSHI FOR LONG TIME!

Kawaii Pattycakes: Or should we say...DIFFERENT KINDS OF DOUJINSHI! FUFUFUFUFUFU!

prettyprophet: Let's just say we got something big and completely non-game related in the wings. And we need to do it fast.

edthefucker: You guys are going to fuck it up. Faggot funny.

funny_bunny: Don't worry! Thumbs up!

prettyprophet: So yeah, No More Comics 2: Desperate Struggle. 2010. Peace out.

Rabbit Roundtable: Eight Heart Paradise

2008-10-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

Heart warming life simulation!

Ages ago, there was a game called Harvest Moon. It was on the SNES and it was hard as hell. Fast forward several years and we got Tree of Tranquility. Oh sure, there were tons of other games in between...but we're playing this right now because no one likes playing Island of Happiness.

Chea, nde just bought it over the weekend...so naturally, I've been hogging it. I'm in summer now. They really need to add more save slots; I use only one, but nde likes to use two. Dawg, what happens if you've got a ton of housemates like ed?

Oh shit, I'm sorry, this isn't really much of a roundtable. Probably because we're all busy as hell now and don't have time for this. Instead, it's just going to be a wrap-up of the Tree of Tranquility love stories for everyone:

Lavie Rhap's Story
Sex: Female
Choices as of this date: Gill or Toby
If replayed as male: Anissa

Lavie says: I finally bought a Wii thanks to nde when I expressed my desire to try out a console Harvest Moon. Sadly, we couldn't find Magical Melody or A Wonderful Life being sold for a reasonable price, so I bought Tree of Tranquility, rather than borrowing nde's copy after he and prophet were done. That was probably for the best, since the twins are very exhaustive in their game habits.

I named my character Victoria and finding a husband wasn't a priority for me until all the Rabbits demanded I start flirting. I have interest in Gill, but with his preferred gifts being gold and silver, I deemed him being too avaricious. Since Toby is a more relaxed character, he seems more suitable in the simple life of farming. But surely Gill has a degree of innocence; the Harvest Sprites chose him to aid the Goddess. I'll have to decide when I reach the Firefly Festival, as I'd rather not a repeat of seeing the Fireworks Festival alone.

Pat's Story
Sex: Female
Choices as of this date: Jin (figures)
If replayed as male: None, it's all about Jin

Pat, through prophet, says: Fucking Pat. Always choosing the Asians.

ed's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Luna
If replayed as female: Julius

ed, through prophet, says: "I'm gonna break that bitch." That's ed for you. Sidenote: I don't think he's ever going to get past spring.

Funny's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Anissa
If replayed as female: Luke

funny says: I chose Anissa because she's one of the first you meet and her family's all warm and cozy to me and that's awesome. They have a farm too! So good family life. Also she is elfin.

prophet: Elfin?

funny: Like, her hair, her clothes...elfin! Not ears though.

prophet: It's mind-boggling, but you seem to actually have rational reasons for liking Anissa. How far-out.

nde's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Phoebe
If replayed as female: Jin

nde says: I haven't met Phoebe yet. I think I'll choose her.

prophet's Story
Sex: Male
Choices as of this date: Probably Renee
If replayed as female: Dunno

prophet says: I seriously can't decide. Now, I started this as a guy, mainly because I was under impression if you go girl, you get fucked over at marriage and subsequent pregnancy, like literally. Have a kid, game ends, rah rah Japanese mindset, right? Well, apparently the game still goes on, even if you're a bird with chick. Thank the fucking Moon Rabbit for that. That's how it should be; think kids will stop a lady-farmer? Hell no. They raised those kids from dinks to doctors, all the while planting crops and shearing sheep. Course, I found out about the whole 'being a girl doesn't suck in this game' deal AFTER I finished a season. Like hell I'm starting over now when I could just have a daughter.

Now, on love. I'm thinking Renee but I've still got other options like Anissa and Selena. Anissa's the most blatant choice, given the whole family familiarity thing...which is why Funbuns chose her. Probably won't pick Anissa since he's already got that. Selena...I liked her little character story. Thought she was just an angsty runaway from a broken home? Nah, none of that shit here. Still, it was TOO little of a character story, plus Selena doesn't seem like the type to fit well in a farm environment. Bet she'll sleep around too (funny: Oh absolutely! Just look at that provocative dress and saucy temperament!).

So Renee. To me, she's like the Ellen of the first Harvest Moon. In fact, that's what she may as well be. Damn these Harvest Moon stock types. But she makes sense. Her family's the animal place and Ellen has a cute intro. Had more impact on me than the others. Oh god what the fuck am I saying?

Patty: Fufufufufu, now you're one of us!

funny: DARK SIDE.

prophet: Shut it.

Now Tree of Tranquility ain't perfect, obviously. Might seem like we're all going ga-ga over it but I got a lot of beef to fry. To start, we have some people we would just love to romance, but they're not on the list: Bo and Elli. Bo for Booberella and Elli for anyone who has a maid fetish (yeah, I know Maya kinda covers the maid thing with that waitress uniform, but that's still just a waitress uniform). Man, if only there was easy-to-use mod tools...

Speaking of mods, GLITCHES. nde and me, we've had no fuck-ups so far, but hilariously, whenever Booberella tries to play Lavie's, it stalls. It's like the game hates her or something, which is terrible, because now Booberella won't ever get to experience the latest-gen Harvest Moon. Anyways, Natsume = glitches, this isn't new, but what the hell we shouldn't be used to this.

Motion controls are shit in Tree of Tranquility? Don't know, none of us use that. Classic baby.

I personally wish we had an item organizer; maybe we do but fuck manuals. I'm pretty sure no one else reads them either, except Lavie. I probably should have, since I fucked up my first seed planting because I thought it was still 3x3 tiles instead of 1x6. Damn, that was lost profit.

Maybe it's just the Rabbits, but it seems barely any of us actually farm. nde mines, Funbuns fishes, Pat...I don't know. I have a preference for mining too, since I want to gold up all my tools. Lavie farms because she's a straight-laced cunt with no zest for life. Cooking food for townspeople in the kitchen, keeping the women rights movement down, that's what she's doing.

Ink is a cockbite motherfucker who won't play Tree of Tranquility. Oh sure, he doesn't have a Wii but neither did Lavie and she got it like THAT. Fuck Ink.

Also, the Thousand Rabbits here have a tendency to destroy any sort of innocence or seriousness any game has. In Twilight Princess, all we could talk about was how Midna x Wolf Link porn (NSFW, surprise surprise) would implode the internet (PS: you can thank Pat for that link). Here, we've got ed and funbuns talking about the sex lives of all the adults (Elli as Hamilton's slave, Sue and Samson making up through rough sex), Pat dreaming of hard Pascal x Main Character action, and me trying to figure out what drove the developers to include Luna, who is pure lolipop. Oh wait, that just answered my question, didn't it?

Homies, if only we weren't waist-deep in manhua and doujinshi...we should do Harvest Moon.

funny edit: Ohohoho, should we now?

Anyways, the Rabbits are overall happy with Tree of Tranquility. Lavie and Funbuns love it, Pat loves it but she'll lose interest soon, probably when Eternal Sonata reenters orbit, ed and Ink don't care, while nde plays it regardless. Myself? Yeah, I like it. It's relaxing fun with more goal-oriented zen. It's no great leap forward over the other games in the series...but hey, would you really want it to be?

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil - GENESIS

2008-09-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

"Call it what you will--
a revelation from God, or a curse of the Demon King.
The fact remains that our world came to an end."

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Symphony for the Devil Issue #0000 - April is the Cruellest Month

prettyprophet: Hey, guess why funny drew this. C'mon, shouldn't be hard.

funny_bunny: To sell to wealthy oilmen?

Killer Ink: To ignore papers.

prettyprophet: To piss me off.

nde: We all like Megaten.

prettyprophet: That we fucking do. Anyways, this was bound to happen sooner or later. Once funny saw me and nde in Jack Bros. costume...it broke him.

funny_bunny: Don't forget the SWEET BODY slapdash!

Killer Ink: Not many saw that.

prettyprophet: Yeah, no one goes to those posts for some reason, despite it having MAJOR NUDITY. Jeez, horndogs, here it is and you don't want it? Fine.

funny_bunny: Now the Thousand Rabbits present...USAGITEN!

nde: Rebirth of the Rabbit.

Killer Ink: Symphony for the Devil.

prettyprophet: And we know it's 'RESURRECTION'. We picked 'Rebirth' because it's got less syllables.

Killer Ink: Though if we were to stick with syllables, it should be 'Usaten'.

funny_bunny: USAGITEN. DON'T ARGUE WITH THE FUEHRER.

prettyprophet: Christ, I'm glad Pat ain't here. She'd be all up in arms over 'proper' Jap romanization. Fuck that.

funny_bunny: You know who I wish WAS here? ed. I could really use COD4.

prettyprophet: Oh, you goddamn brokeass. Alright, info time. Funbuns was drawing Megaten for no reason in class because that's the kind of idiot he is. Boom, next day he's all, "Let's do it. Let's do Megaten doujinshi." Look, I don't even care anymore that we have several open comic projects. Why? Funny's the artist. So unless Ink feels like taking up the tablet...which he is adamantly refusing right now...we'll just do whatever funny want's to do. Doesn't matter to me; it's really all the same material. In-jokes, geek jokes, random shit from funny, whatever. Slip in some social commentary and we're good.

"Symphony for the Devil" is a play off "Sympathy for the Devil" and the "April is the cruellest month" is from T.S. Eliot. Sidenote: Eliot was featured in Nocturne's initial hour by way of Hikawa explaining why April is the "cruellest month". Props to localization or actually from the original script? Who knows? Ink, take the panels.

Killer Ink:

Panel One

Funny did something different here, tracing Kaneko's Pixie (Kazuma Kaneko Works I version). Perhaps he got lazy. Or as he's saying, because he rarely traces and wanted to see what it'd be like. Chino Hills was chosen due to it having the lowest population of California. '199X' is a reference to Shin Megami Tensei's date.

Image taken from Be Your True Mind.

Panel Two

The wallpapers are from To Love-Ru and Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice. The figures between the monitors are from Kotobukiya's (funny: KOTOBUKKAKE) Megami Tensei Trading Figures Box Set #6. Shown (left to right) are Astaroth, Odin, Lakshmi, Pixie, Barong, and Thor. The mousepads with breasts as rests came from ed's collection. The Tetris keyboard was drawn on impulse. The improbable amount of wires was drawn because prophet says that wires represent technology.

Images from Anime Wallpapers.com.

Panel Three

Funny wanted to draw Network Terminals for no reason, even though SftD appears to be focused on a cross between the very original Megami Tensei and possibly Shin Megami Tensei (prophet: Yeah right, this shit is crisscrossing EVERYWHERE). There's a Pepsi Terminal, a Playboy Terminal, and a regular Network Terminal. The summoner was randomly generated through our visual dislikes; I dislike double-chins, funny dislikes neckbeards, nde dislikes grubby hands, ed dislikes fat people, prophet dislikes sweat, and Pat dislikes balding (funny: Lavie dislikes NOTHING in particular because she's too nice and if you're really shy and blushing, she might let you touch her boobies).

Panel Four

'Amala Network' is from Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. Rice Crispies reference in the sound effects. The three demons displayed are (left to right) Baphomet, Nyx, and XXX. Models are myself, Lavie, and funny, respectively. funny does not wish for the XXX demon to be named yet, for some unknown reason. The shirt Demon XXX is wearing is a King of Games Kid Icarus tee. The game Demon XXX is playing is Persona 4. The lyrics are from the introduction song, "Pursuing My True Self".

Styles used for this, and overall, were from Totan Kobako's Sketchbook and Okota's Tsukihime/Fate Stay doujinshi.

prettyprophet: Wow, you are so fucking dry and boring. Ok, Ink, you're doing the panel explanations from now on.

Killer Ink: I don't feel like this is an honor.

prettyprophet: It's not. Anyways, we did the four panel deal this time because...fuck you, Pat. Four panels = more concise.

funny_bunny: Also, I've decided EVERYONE's demon!

Killer Ink: He spent hours doing so.

prettyprophet: Shit you not. And he's got papers due, unsurprisingly.

funny_bunny: YOU CAN'T JUST PICK ANY DEMON, THEY MUST BE CAREFULLY SCREENED TO PERFECTION.

prettyprophet: The sad thing is...funny really did put thought into this. Most of it, anyways.

funny_bunny: And now! FACE THE TRUE ENEMY!

prettyprophet: Atlus, WHERE'S MEGATEN PROPER?

Etrian Oddity, or the World Tree Madness in the West: #00003

2008-09-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

"So you're the one aimlessly leading my Yorda around. Do you know who this girl is? That girl you're with is my one and only beloved daughter. Stop wasting your time with her. She lives in a different world than some boy with horns!"

Etrian Oddity Issue #00003 - BLAM!

prettyprophet: funny's playing Disgaea, nde's playing Spore, and Ink won't say anything. So it's basically just me talking with occasional remarks from funny. And maybe the other two kids if I can get something out of them. I don't even know why I'M the one writing about #3; it was entirely funny's idea.

funny_bunny: I love NIHEI.

prettyprophet: So yeah, at first he wanted to go all out and draw a few pages of stuff that would make Nihei proud...but we talked him out of it, since it'd take forever.

Panel One

Oh hey, reused from last time. This probably the last time you're going to see sustained continuity from chapter to chapter.

Note the hand. That was COPY AND PASTED from chapter 59 of BLAME! That chapter was pretty much used frame for frame here. But that hand...for some reason, funny didn't want to draw it out himself, so he just copy/pasted. Which leads us to the next frame...

Panel Two

He doesn't draw out the hand...but draws out the fucking face. And draws the hand. Jesus, you make no sense. That is chapter 59's featured safeguard, the 'Old Man'. Unsurprisingly, that mofo is also blown away by Killy's fucking monster of a gun.

Panel Three

I like Nihei's explosions. They're vast. Like atom bombs across the pages. Shit, I still haven't read the BLAME!2 thing. funny's saying something but I'm ignoring him.

Panel Four

Originally Harvest was supposed to be all like, "TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW, YOU STUPID FUCK" but since we only had five panels to work with, stuff had to get cut. Plus we wanted to keep things totally non-talky throughout.

Panel Five

Yeah, a little fountain is positioned directly where Snowflake falls. I think funny was going to do a pool at first, then wanted a fountain because...fountains are pretty. So he says right now. Anyways, sorry about compressing so much action into five small panels but BLAME! funny for it. Blame him for anything.

Hey, Ink, who was your favorite safeguard?

Killer Ink: I didn't read much of BLAME!

prettyprophet: You read something. Name one.

Killer Ink: Sanakan.

prettyprophet: See? You read enough. nde, what about you?

nde: Only safeguards?

prettyprophet: We'll do silicon creatures another day.

nde: Level 9.

prettyprophet: Sexy. I'm going Sanakan myself. Dhomo's hot and everything, but fuck that, Sanakan's gun is BAM. I guess there's Killy himself, but he doesn't count as safeguard.

funny_bunny: My favorite...ISN'T THE OLD MAN SAFEGUARD! OHOHOHO. Oh wait, it is the old man safeguard.

prettyprophet: Well, obviously. You keep drawing him.

funny_bunny: He's just TOO DREAMY! He BITES Killy. Also Mao is just like prophet and that's satisfactory.

prettyprophet: Mao. What a name.

Etrian Oddity, or the World Tree Madness in the West: #00002

2008-08-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

"Gudeui hansumsoge chug chyojin balgorum soge
charari momchwojigil baranun haruga isso
amuron gidedo obgo irohda hal sollemdo obso
hajiman bakwonagal yonggido iyudo obso"

Etrian Oddity Issue #00002 - Etrian Psycho (written by the 1000 Rabbits, visualized by funny_bunny)

funny_bunny: I enjoyed doing this chapter VERY much. Hey nde, what do YOU think?

nde: I guess it's pretty accurate.

funny_bunny: Hoho.

prettyprophet: You'd think this would stop me from walking around the house near-nude, but it's not. I mean, funny once wrote a story where someone who MAY HAVE BEEN BASED ON ED whacked off to someone WHO MAY HAVE BEEN BASED ON NDE who was getting murdered. At least this was non-sexual.

funny_bunny: And very true-to-life.

prettyprophet: Ok, let's get this done:

The whole thing was basically just a near-copy of American Psycho's opening monologue. It was actually a lot more accurate at first, but we had to cut it down for five panels. Why the hell would we make such a reference to a book/movie that Etrian Odyssey fans probably don't care about? Truth is, World Tree's an excuse for us to put our lives into comic form. Expect continuous references and crossovers with things that have absolutely nothing to do with EO.

Panel One

You can thank Barbarossa for the photo. Guy's a castle nut so funny just asked him for whatever. This one fit into the frame decent enough.

Panel Two

My/Harvest's comment about stupid student concept films is a direct quote of...myself. We were passing by some of the boys who were watching something on Youtube. I took a look and said, "Wow, what a stupid student concept film". You know, all flash and technique because the actors can't carry shit. Nate turns to me and he's just like, "That's MY film, you bitch." "Yeah, it still sucks." Yeah, I'm turning into ed.

Also, I don't spend all the time in the nude. I live with my family, not just nde, so sadly I must put on something while the folks are in the house. Usually it's a gown from Lavie. But as we all know, funny has an active imagination.

Something I almost forgot to add: funny seriously was considering drawing areola and nipple because he's crazy and doesn't mind pissing me off. Then he saw naked Salvatore and thought the lure of the unknown was sexier. Thank the fucking Moon Rabbit. PS: I laugh at Pat because she's so sick, she can't even play games like DISGAEA 3. funny, go rob that slut.

Panel Three

We don't have a tub. But I do sing in the shower. That right there is from Cherry Filter's Revolution A.D. ...I think funny's also using them as the opening quote for this. Monologue there is completely true except for the honey bit. I think we were just changing words around or something.

Panel Four

Funny story behind that hair dryer. About a year ago we had to head up to a wedding and stayed at a swanky hotel. nde comes up to me and he says, "Beloved sister, used the hair dryer yet? It's pretty strong." I try it out, damn, it was for such a small thing. So I stole it and now it's what we use at home.

Also, there was MUCH argument over the sound effects of a hair dryer. nde suggested 'whirrrr' but funny's like, "No, that's too much like spinning." Long story short: wrrrr.

No, I don't drink in the morning. We needed something that had to do with the word 'alcohol' so we were like, fuck it, make me an alcoholic.

That thing on my arm isn't a watch. It's really a bracelet with an electric charge in it. I saw it in HK but wasn't carrying any cash, so nde got it for me. Kid, you regret doing that?

nde: No, you never use it on me.

prettprophet: I bet everyone else hates you. Anyways...boobs. Specifically mine. Want to know where they came from?

funny_bunny: I used HAPPOU BIJIN illustrations!

prettprophet: My reaction to that was recorded in the 'Leporidae Rex' ACHTUNG post over at the Reich. My words? "Fucking Father Christmas". And I stand by them.

funny_bunny: I wanted shapely, firm ones.

prettprophet: Yes. Now I expect some hot and sweaty boy love action to compensate.

funny_bunny: Turning into Pat?

prettprophet: No, I just want...no, wait, fuck it. THIS TOPIC IS OVER.

Panel Five

I'm wearing a Kazu Kibuishi 'Pachyderm Forest' shirt which I do not have. I didn't even know it was that shirt until funny told me since...frankly, you can't even tell from that lack of detail. Thank you funny for drawing us in apparel we would like to one day own, thus furthering our desires.

A sidenote here that Ink noticed...if Harvest and Snowflake are royalty...why the hell do they share a bathroom? Uh, because they're too cheap and Asian to get another one.

funny_bunny: I'm copying off SKETCHBOOK from now on as my main source! It's done by MUSASHI QUALTIY and it's ROCKING.

prettprophet: I just started reading it...yeah, that's high school all over again. Minus any art club. Anyways, in these explanations...I'm not referring to Harvest/myself as ME anymore. They're CARICATURES of ourselves and that's that.

funny_bunny: Why not switch all willy-nilly? IT'LL BE FUN.

prettprophet: And confusing. So there, Harvest was a nude skank in this issue.

funny_bunny: With excellent boobs.

prettprophet: Right. When's your chapter?

funny_bunny: Oh, you know me. I'm always wearing something!

prettprophet: Not when you sleep.

funny_bunny: Hey, let's make that the end page for the next release. "WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN?"

prettprophet: funny sleeps half nude.

funny_bunny: nde sleeps in CLOTHES to hide his SHAMEFULLY DELICIOUS BODY!

Rabbit Review: Shining Tears - Collection of Visual Materials

2008-08-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

Title: Shining Tears – Collection of Visual Materials
Artist: Tony Taka
ISBN: 4757722346
Publisher: Enterbrain
Format: Softcover, 8.5 x 11.25 inches
Language: Japanese
Pages: 127
First Published: March 2005
Purchase Price: $28 US
Purchased From: Animebooks
Extras: None

If you can recall, March 2005 had the release of Shining Tears. If you can’t, I don’t fault you; it was an action RPG that has the dubious honor being X-Play’s “3rd Worst PS2 Game Ever”. Perhaps the reason was because of the game’s lineage: the Shining series was beloved for its tactical titles and reviled for its drastic changes in genre. Regardless, the artwork was pleasant enough to catch my eye and I would learn that Tony Taka, or just plain ‘Tony’ was responsible for it. Then I would later learn that he was also responsible for the art of several of Japan’s infamous ‘adult’ games. Yes, that kind of game. Not surprising, considering how many artists dabble in the erotic: Ghost in the Shell’s Masamune Shirow or Growlanser’s Satoshi Urushihara. Even Akira Toriyama of Dragon Quest and Dragonball fame ended up in the adult artbook Bitch’s Life Illustration File.

Tony’s Shining Tears – Collection of Visual Materials is as its name suggests: an artbook containing all things visually related to Shining Tears. His art may have struck a chord with fans of Shining Tears, what with the sequel Shining Wind bearing his touch.

It opens with a gallery of 24 full color images, all illustrations of the Shining Tears cast; the females take up most of those pages. The fact that they seem to have more love invested into them should be expected, given Tony’s background. Following that is a four page interview with the man himself, which then segues into the individual character illustrations. Thirteen pages of character graphics, since there are thirteen principle characters. Then 24 pages of their profiles, containing early sketches and portraits.

At this point, we’re then treated to about 27 pages describing the Shining Force world; not a good thing if you’ve bought this for the art. In this “World” section, there’s also artwork for the landscapes, NPCs, and enemies. This artwork appears to have been done by another artist, as the style varies too greatly and Tony appears to have been billed only for character design.

There’s a second interview with Tony and the storyboards for the opening cinematic, side-by-side with the finished product for comparison. To end the book, we’re provided fifteen pages of linework selected from the gallery section.

I know Visual Materials sounds like it holds a great deal but it’s only 127 pages. Out of that 127, I’d believe 76 are pure art; taking out the fifteen pages of linework, as they’re reiterations of gallery work, brings us down to 61 pages. So if it is quantity you’d like in your artbooks, this one’s lacking. This is not something unexpected; “visual collection” artbooks tend to be a way to make money off fans of the respective games, compared to artbooks that span an artist’s career. Still, there’s a lot of background information of Shining Tears, plus the interviews, so this could be absorbing if you can read Japanese.

Judgement:
Personally, I’m not that big of a Tony fan. His characters edge too close to the cliché for my tastes and the female-to-male ratio is rather unbalanced. However, I can see how his style can be appealing to the senses, given his aesthetically pleasing females. With that said, I find it hard to recommend Shining Tears – Collection of Visual Materials. If you’re a fan of the Shining Force series, chances are you won’t take a liking to Shining Tears and Tony’s art, as charming as it is, probably won’t sway you to buy the artbook. The same applies to anyone who’s simply looking for some fine art; Visual Materials isn’t worth the bother. Now, if you already are a fan of Tony, then by all means, get this. A glossy gallery, interviews, sketches; all wonderful. Just keep in mind that only half of it is actual art, which can be a sore spot for those wanting more.

Author:
Lavie Rhap is a freelance writer who contributes to a number of sites and zines using multiple pseudonyms. When not undertaking research, she enjoys reading classical texts and being the moral compass of the Thousand Rabbits.

Consultants:
Kawaii Pattycakes is a self-admitted otaku with interest only in Asiatic culture. Every cent she earns is put into funding her hobby; it is only through intense efforts of prettyprophet does she experience the rest of the world.

funny_bunny is [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] megaten [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] artbooks [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] cakes.

*Images from Aethereality Gallery and DPG because funny_bunny didn't want to scan his own book.

Happoubi Jin’s Sweet Body Chapter Three (Version 2)

2008-08-25T09:06:00.001-07:00

"The wind rises, electric. She's soft and warm and almost weightless. Her perfume is a sweet promise that brings tears to my eyes. I tell her that everything will be all right. That I'll save her from whatever she's scared of and take her far, far away. I tell her I love her."

Lavie Rhap: No messages for the people?

funny_bunny: Nope nope!

Lavie Rhap: That's fine too.

Additional links:

On Mediafire
On Rapidshare

Happoubi Jin's Sweet, Sweet Body CHAP 01 PART 01

2008-08-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

"It's the truth. You're not my son. You never have been. You're an orphan. Did you ever hear that word? You operated here today like one. I should have seen this coming. I should have known that under this all, these past years you've been building your hate for me piece by piece. I don't even know who you are because you have none of me in you; you're someone else's. This anger, your maliciousness, backwards dealings with me. You're an orphan from a basket in the middle of the desert. And I took you for no other reason than I needed a sweet face to buy land. Did you get that? Now you know. Look at me. You're lower than a bastard. Mmm-hmm. You have none of me in you. You're just a bastard from a basket."

prettyprophet: Despite this being the "last" chapter, we're not done. Still gotta redo chapter three.

funny_bunny: Only then will we consider Sweet Body complete!

prettyprophet: We're going to need hosting for the volume release because it's big as a mother. So c'mon, give us the hook-ups.

funny_bunny: Hook a playa up!

prettyprophet: Fo sho. Peace.

Additional links:

On Mediafire
On Rapidshare

AX 2008 was really really fun

2008-08-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

And I didn't even go!

funny_bunny: Chea.

prettyprophet: Chea boi.

Kawaii Pattycakes: CHEA!

Lavie Rhap: How's your jetlag, prophet?

prettyprophet: Oh, the jetlag that turned into constant loss of equilibrium? It's great. Fucking great.

Kawaii Pattycakes: You should relax now. Watch some Geass.

funny_bunny: OR PLAY MGS4! Because SOME PEOPLE are kind and sweet enough to let people play WHENEVER.

Kawaii Pattycakes: QUIET YOU BAKA BUNNY.

funny_bunny: HENTAI PATTYCAKES.

Lavie Rhap: Civility, please.

prettyprophet: SHUT THE FUCK UP. Aw, now it looks like I'm saying that to Lavie. Way to preempt me, you bitch.

funny_bunny: Hey, everyone, get the FUCK out. It's FUNNY BUNNY's field.

Kawaii Pattycakes: WHERE'S THE YAOI DOUJINSHI?

funny_bunny: I'LL BURN YOUR ROOM, SLUT.

prettyprophet: Actually, this is pretty much funny's post so whatever. Do what the fuck you want.

funny_bunny: See? VICTOLY.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I will drill you. And keep Enchanted Arms out of your sexy hands!

Lavie Rhap: Pat, no one likes a hoarder.

Kawaii Pattycakes: He hasn't even finished FES!

prettyprophet: Jesus, you haven't? Piece of shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Neither have you!

funny_bunny: We're all DECADENT SCUM. Anywhos, I was at ANIME EXPO 2008! In spirit.

Lavie Rhap: There was only one Rabbit who went. Pat was tricked into thinking she would, but ed took her to Spain instead.

Kawaii Pattycakes: That TRAITOR.

funny_bunny: That wonderful Rabbit who I am indebted to is...AERITH'S BITCH! Danke danke, you OTAKU SCUM. So with his awesome aid, I spent a hundred bones there. Fufu!

prettyprophet: Fucking funny.

funny_bunny: My luxurious Lavie, list the goods!

Lavie Rhap: Didn't you take photos?

funny_bunny: Mon Dieu! I did!

prettyprophet: Fucking forgetful funny.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I <3 the Pokemon!

funny_bunny: My most valued possession! BUT IGNORE THEM THIS TIME! Gaze on the majesty of AX SWAG.

prettyprophet: A hundred fucking dollars. You could've got Folklore. I want to play that shit.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I'LL BE GETTING IT NEXT!

prettyprophet: Bitch, please. You're more broke than funny.

funny_bunny: Bet you I'll get it before Pat. I bet a dollar.

Lavie Rhap: funny, focus on the purchases.

funny_bunny: Right right! Really, only THREE things cost moolah: PERSONA 3 doujinshi by MECHAFETUS, commissioned sketch of PLEINAIR and USAGI by PERSONA of MECHAFETUS, and PULCHRITUDINOUS POISON PVC. Everything else was free! I think.

prettyprophet: And somehow it still amounted to a hundred. Fucking Moon Rabbits, what the shit.

funny_bunny: Pretty Poison was a pretty penny.

prettyprophet: Hey, I'm all for a rocked out figure...but paying that much? Fuck off.

Kawaii Pattycakes: And that's why you'll NEVER understand the beauty behind PVC. Get out, you unbeliever.

prettyprophet: Fuck you, white girl.

funny_bunny: I hope you two wrestle.

Kawaii Pattycakes: I hope so too!

prettyprophet: I'm just not going to comment any further. Just talk funny. Just fucking talk.

funny_bunny: Fo shizzle!

funny_bunny: I haven't even taken her out of the BOX.

Kawaii Pattycakes: And you should never! Figures must be kept boxed and pristine. THAT IS LAW.

funny_bunny: I DEFY LAW. Also, Meatbun.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Meatbun is SUGOIIIII.

funny_bunny: SIGNED BY TAKEHITO HARADA!

Kawaii Pattycakes: THIS IS WHY I HATE FUNNY!

funny_bunny: Hate Aerith's Bitch for not getting you a copy!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I hate YOU for not reminding him!

funny_bunny: I love me!

prettyprophet: Hey funny, you didn't scan the back of the board.

funny_bunny: Nor shall I!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I LOVE TANIEL. I LOVE HER SIGNATURE. GYABO, DIE FUNNY.

funny_bunny: Oh Pat, what's that say? "TO FANIIBANII (HEART)". HARADA WROTE THAT TOO! MINUS THE HEART! OHOHOHO. I AM THE THIRD REVELATION! I AM WHO THE GREAT MOON RABBIT HAS CHOSEN!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I have more PS3 games!

funny_bunny: DIE.

prettyprophet: I would murder for this.

Kawaii Pattycakes: prophet unleashing her OTAKUNESS!?

prettyprophet: Hell no, I just want a sprite-based megaten fighting game. God, that'd be beautiful.

funny_bunny: Let that poster twirl in your dreamscape. It's from MECHAFETUS, PAUL ROBERTSON SPECIFICALLY.

Lavie Rhap: Of Pirate Baby and Kings of Power fame.

funny_bunny: You know, THIS was all I originally wanted.

Kawaii Pattycakes: But how can you stop there when so many other goodies call?

prettyprophet: Fucking easily.

funny_bunny: It is Mechafetus doujin! It is wonderful! This Time it's Persona3l!

prettyprophet: They even squeezed in Mara. Fuck yeah.

Lavie Rhap: Shall this be scanned?

funny_bunny: Of course not! THIS IS FOR RABBITS ONLY.

prettyprophet: Now that's just badass.

Kawaii Pattycakes: WHERE IS SAME-SAN!!!???

Lavie Rhap: funny's actual request was somewhere along the lines of a FF/Pokemon crossover, I believe.

funny_bunny: WRONG. I quote my superb self: "Pleinair raping Usagi while riding a Voltorb that's falling onto Megaten cast members such as sexy crazy demon lady Yuriko or brave space cat Goto...who are in the midst of a violent fight with FF cast members such as mangy Montblanc the moogle or mirthful Mjrn, who probably carries lustful, incestuous thoughts for Fran...meanwhile, Bikini Bible-chan benevolently observes everything...before preparing to annihilate all with pious Christian fury."

prettyprophet: Clearly that vision was distorted in production.

funny_bunny: Aerith's Bitch tells me Persona WAS NOT FAMILIAR with who Pleinair and Usagi were! So THAT CONFUZZLED THINGS.

Kawaii Pattycakes: But we have this triumph of loli might now!

Lavie Rhap: If there is anyone out there who would like to illustrate funny's request, by all means, do so.

funny_bunny: I wish I gave this to Ink to do before he got rich. So that's folks! NO MORE SWAG. Well, swag photos and scans that is!

prettyprophet: Good. Now let's fucking SMASH.

funny_bunny: Thank you so very much Aerith's Bitch for taking all the effort to GATHER THIS SWAG. I got him SMT: NOCTURNE AND A DS JAPANESE MAGIC TRANSLATING THINGY in return! Thank you Harada and Taniel for delighting a FANII BANII! Thank you Persona, Paul, EVO3 aka Ouendan, and Kinuko of Mechafetus for BEING SO SEXY AND SALACIOUS! ANIME EXPO, SEE YOU AGAIN SPIRITUALLY NEXT YEAR!

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funny_bunny: BOO.

Raidou Kuzunoha vs. OUR HEARTS: WHO SHALL BE WINNER??!

2008-07-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

The answer should be obvious.

EVERYONE WINS!

First comes this, to wet our whistle. "Oh!" said a funny bunny, "Look at what Atlus hast wrought!" "Ludacris!" roared a pretty prophet, "For everyone has the PERSONA plague, not DEVIL disease."

And then this arrived! And a killer piece of ink declared thusly: "Kazuma Kaneko." And all became right in the world.

Etrian Oddity, or the World Tree Madness in the West: #00001

2008-07-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

"And other ills, in countless multitude,
Thou seest not yet, on thee and on thy seed
Shall fall alike. Vent forth thy wrath then loud,
On Creon and on me. There lives not man
Who wastes his life more wretchedly than thou."

Etrian Oddity Cover (designed by prettyprophet and funny_bunny)
Etrian Oddity Issue #00001 - Welcome to Etria (written by the 1000 Rabbits, visualized by funny_bunny)

Lavie Rhap: To commemorate the first actual scanlation by the Rabbit Reich, funny decided to release the next issue of Etrian Oddity.

funny_bunny: It's RABBIT-TASTIC!

Lavie Rhap: funny, when do you think the next issue will be done?

funny_bunny: When Mori wears a spiked brassiere with stiletto heels!

Lavie Rhap: funny's burning himself out in order to release a number of things before prophet and nde return from vacation. I think it's for the best that we space ourselves out, however.

funny_bunny: Never! We must hurtle forward into the future like the speed demons we are! Isn't that right, my happy holstein?

Lavie Rhap: Will she join us as well?

holstein: Yes. [note: holstein didn't say anything after that.]

funny_bunny: Shall we begin?

Lavie Rhap: There's two items in this post: the "cover" of the series and the #00001 issue. Technically, #00000 is the real start but funny had great desire to designate it with a "0" number.

funny_bunny: The zero means INFINITE.

Lavie Rhap: And the eight?

funny_bunny: I like both.

Lavie Rhap: We'll begin with the cover: As some may realize, this is a direct copy off Blood Meridian's Vintage published cover. Originally, funny intended to draw a Thousand Rabbits version of it...

funny_bunny: And we can see how ALL THAT TURNED OUT.

Lavie Rhap: Then prophet thought it'd be better to draw nothing at all. So instead of a reproduction of the Vintage art, we get delightful scribbles from the artistic fields of funny.

funny_bunny: I referenced a lot of stuff there that I leave for you to figure out! BECAUSE REFERENCES ARE FUN.

Lavie Rhap: The Thousand Rabbits actually has an obsession with referencing anything that relates to the given subject...and sometimes even if there's no relation. I think funny personally does it to keep us on our toes.

funny_bunny: Like a ballerina.

Lavie Rhap: Anna Pavlova.

funny_bunny: When shall you travel the world, performing for foreign dignitaries?

Lavie Rhap: I'd rather perform through a different art instead.

funny_bunny: Erotic arts!

Lavie Rhap: One more thing I almost neglected to mention relating to the cover: Although I didn't write anything for it, prophet paraphrased a situation that was rather close to what you've read. It was months ago, when Etrian Oddity was being formulated: no one thought funny would be able to dedicate himself to drawing a comic but I knew he could. However, afterwards funny didn't draw much relating to Etrian aside from the initial sketches, so everyone kept telling him how disappointed I was in him, which was completely untrue. Either way, funny wasn't disheartened at all, so no harm done.

Onto Issue One: funny, as per recent tradition, placed holstein as the speaker of notes. How does she feel about being the mascot? Apparently funny hasn't told her and is motioning for me not to say anything, since holstein is only a few feet away.

Panel One

To those who are unfamiliar with our real-life counterparts: Harvest Pingpong is prettyprophet and Clover O'Dannyboy is Kawaii Pattycakes. Almost all the names were generated through the first non-profane words to come from ed's mouth and refer to our generic racial backgrounds, with "Pingpong", "Moshimoshi", and "Poe" being the exceptions. Pingpong was used thanks to everyone's enjoyment of the Simpsons quote:

Grampa: Oh, come on, there's lots of ways to pass the time. Hitch up your pants, air whittle, make friends with a Chinese man.

[an Asian man enters the room]

Craig: Um, Mr. Simpson, you weren't supposed to leave the home.

Abe: Thank you Ping-Pong!

Craig: Um, my name is Craig.

funny still loves that. prophet was made an Alchemist because chemistry is her major and Pat demanded the Dancer class. While a number of us play Etrian Odyssey now, namely the sequel, Pat was the first who became interested in it. Her fascination drew the rest of us in.

Panel Two

Pat does want all of us to cosplay at one time or another; I'm not much of a cosplayer, to tell the truth. The fabric isn't to my liking...and funny tells me that's why he has an aversion as well. "Too cheap-looking!" he says. prophet simply refuses, while nde and Ink avoid Pat whenever she arrives with a costume. ed actually will cosplay on the condition that he's allowed to keep the costume and wear it to his shows. Oh ed, if only we were all as brave as you.

Reebok Rajaratnam is Killer Ink. Ink has a liking for K-Swiss shoes, so prophet decided to use a rival company for the first name. The surname comes from a photo we saw on Facebook of a man with said surname. He looked practically identical to Ink if not for the fact that he was older and had facial hair. ed chose his nickname for Ink that day. Ink also happens to be a Landsknetcht but convinced funny to not draw him in costume. I assume it's because this references a sore spot of Ink's, so I won't expand on that. Ink's suit came from a Kazuma Kaneko drawing of Dr. Mekata of Shin Megami Tensei II fame (funny: scan from BE YOUR TRUE MIND).

And there is myself, "Olga Stalenvodka". I am a Protector because apparently that is what I do. funny even bought me a figure of the Etrian Protector/Paladin, which I have on my desk at home. Thanks, funny (funny: Now buy me some artbooks!).

Panel Three

The Dark Hunter happens to be edthefucker, as the name suggests. The "Newguyin" comes from the common "Nguyen" surname, a surname that ed informs many as his own...which it's not. Mori is the Ronin and her name was specifically crafted by Pat. While prophet dislikes Pat's otaku nature, Mori tends to have zero tolerance for it. As such, Pat attempts to convert her even more, hence the "moe".

prophet anecdote: The lines ed and Mori have are basically direct quotes: ed happened to come across me and Mori practicing a skit, causing him to shout, "Who the fuck thought it'd be a good idea to put Mori in a comedy?" with Mori saying "If you ever point at me again, I'll cripple you." ed pointed a finger, THE FINGER, and Mori replied by throwing a textbook at his face. ed, hilariously, was standing at the top of some stairs and fell the fuck down, breaking his wrist. I'd go on about the "humorless bitch" line, but we'll save that one. Back to Lavie with the next paragraph.

The style of note here is ed: funny copied off Sketchbook, a manga that many of us have become enamored with. Thank you, Musashi Quality.

Panel Four

Snowflake Pingpong the Survivalist and Poe the Hexer are nde and Nyx, respectively. They're the more quiet of the Rabbits, so they requested to have as few lines as possible. nde chose to have simply a question mark and Nyx chose to have absolutely nothing. prophet decided to make Nyx a silent character from there on.

Panel Five

The chief problem with maintaining the five-panel standard came down upon us here, when we were figuring out how to end. The original outline had quite a bit of action but we realized we couldn't fit all nine in, so we settled on purely introductions. At that point, funny exclaimed, "Punchline!" and prophet finalized the fifth panel. funny happens to be prone to making bizarre statements and for that, we love him. Being the spearhead for Etrian Oddtity, funny got to choose his class and appearance without interference...and he chose the Medic, female version. funny tells me he doesn't cross-dress normally, unless he sees very stylish clothing.

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Lavie Rhap: And that is #00001. Nothing special, just setting up our characters. A note I forgot to add last time was that funny copied the credit style from the webcomic VG Cats. I'm not sure why; he hasn't given a reason yet. But reason isn't something he needs, yes?

funny_bunny: Reason? Who needs reason when you've got FUN?

Lavie Rhap: Reason allows us to appreciate the fun on more extensive levels. Not everyone is as carefree as you, unfortunately.

funny_bunny: I'm not carefree. I care about MANY THINGS! Like scanning some manhua! Or getting a PS3!

Lavie Rhap: Can't you play at Pat's?

funny_bunny: No! SHE'S A GAMEHOG.

Lavie Rhap: I'll try to talk some sense into her for you.

funny_bunny: Danke, but even you, oh mighty Lavie Rhap, shall fail! FOR SHE HAS BECOME A THRALL TO SOUL CALIBUR.

Lavie Rhap: Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI comes out any day now for the PC. You could play that.

funny_bunny: Yeah! And Persona too. I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO THE ANSWER.

Lavie Rhap: You restarted, after all.

funny_bunny: SHHHHH, DON'T SPOIL!

Lavie Rhap: Don't worry, funny. I'm sure you'll find your summer full of surprises.

funny_bunny: You know what would surprise me? A person named Killer Ink taking over the artistic duties for all the doujinshi. INK, GIVE ME A SURPRISE!

Lavie Rhap: There's always next year.

Etrian Oddity, or the World Tree Madness in the West: GENESIS

2008-07-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

"In the beginning the Great Moon Rabbit created the moon and the field. The field was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the green; and the Spirit of the Great Moon Rabbit was moving over the face of the grass. And the Great Moon Rabbit said, 'Let there be cake'; and there was cake."

Etrian Oddity Issue #00000 - See the Child (written by prettyprophet, visualized by funny_bunny) <- Fufu.

HAVE A CHEESECAKE SMOOTHIE.

Lavie Rhap: Hi, I'm Lavie Rhap and I'm here to clear up anything funny left out. According to the bunny himself, there's quite a bit. Bear with us and we'll enlighten you to our inner workings and then some.

This is the first issue of Etrian Oddity, or a World Tree Madness in the West by the Thousand Rabbits, the much talked-about fan comic that prophet and funny had been collaborating on. We originally planned for it to be the vanguard of comics done by our little circle; as those following the Reich's progress may have noticed, Savior Blood, Smash Bizarre 2D ended up taking precedence. However, as circumstances dictated, funny decided to shift focus back to Etrian Oddity.

prettyprophet: Wassup gangstas, I'm just going to pop in here for a click. Yeah, yeah, I know I said I wouldn't do any Reich work because I'm on vacation...but I want to add in my own notes here. Lavie's keeping things civil, but a BIG reason why Etrian didn't fly was thanks to Ink, Pat, and ed. Namely ed, that fucker. It started off as a real 1000 Rabbit joint, with everyone pouring in random ideas and anecdotes...but we got fed up with arguing over interpreting characters.

See, here's a not-so-secret fact that practically anyone who's talked to us in the real world should figure out: all the characters are directly representing ourselves. Some exaggerations, duh, but they're us. SBSB2D is only based. Etrian? Almost 1:1 ratio of accuracy. Well, visually not so much; you can thank funny's RAD DRAWING SKILLZ for that. Point is, me and ed kept butting heads over practically everything so funny started writing. Again, you can thank him for any wackness that makes you say what the fuck. Ways to tell who wrote what: if it's an actual sentence, either me, nde, or Lavie. If it's random geek, me or funny. If it's total fucking otaku, pat. If it's offensive, me, funny, or ed. No, not ALL of us work on a single issue. Usually it's me, funny, and nde tossing ideas, Lavie and Ink critiquing, and Pat and ed as 'consultants'. "Hey prophet, you cunt, is THAT why the doujin's a piece of shit?" Yeah, actually, that's exactly why. We have no idea what Etrian Oddity's going to turn into because, unlike SBSB2D, there is zero game plan for this thing. We're just going to flip this bitch and see how it lands.

You know, the funny thing is that Lavie has no idea that I'm editing this thing into her own edit. Peace out.

Lavie Rhap: Etrian Oddity, is a fan comic very loosely based off Atlus' Etrian Odyssey. In order to differentiate itself from another Etrian Oddity, funny decided to add the subtitle The World Tree Madness in the West, as his tribute to Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West. How he'll tie that in, only prophet knows. (prophet note: Technically he already did, with "See the Child" as title. First line from Blood Meridian, yo.)

The reason for the five-panel style instead of the more common "4-koma" is due to Pat's insistence that four is an unlucky number. On that day, she was bitten by at least four mosquitoes, which funny took as an omen and bumped the amount of panels up one. I'd also like to note that reason for the explanations appearing in the post is because we could add links, making it easier for the reader to understand the many obtuse references we use.

Panel One

funny wanted to put the entire cast in a row but found it impossible with such small frames, so he chose to put a number of them in the background. The shirts on the Survivalist and Alchemist are from Nucleus, designed by Chris Appelhans. This was a request from prophet, who is a fan of Nucleus apparel.

Panel Two

I didn't want to leave this blank, so I moved an aspect of panel one down here: the eyes. funny tells me that although the style used overall was a complete amalgamation of various artists, the eyes of the Survivalist and Alchemist were specifically copied from circle Z-Vector. I can see how he copied, but looking at the specific doujinshi he used, I'd say that the eyes are generic enough for anyone to claim ownership. I was somewhat reminded of Breath of Fire artwork.

Panel Three

All I'd like to say on the Protector is that I'm pleasantly surprised funny kept her modest. Thank you for that.

Panel Four

I'm told that this entire panel was to build up to the line "We're nothing but caricatures of reality". prophet has emphatically stated it was her mission to include 'Morisms', which are quotes from the ever-impassive Mori. This line was not taken out of context; she really was referring to a work based on our lives...a sock-puppet show performed by prophet and Pat in high school for a fundraiser. Thankfully, Mori's icy nature serves as a most excellent counterpoint to the flames of our more wild members.

Panel Five

funny directly copied off another Nucleus artist for the tree, Robert Kondo's Day One. I'm not sure why funny chose this; "It seemed big" was all he could think of. I added the blurb about nine characters in search of an author, since Luigi Pirandello's play was the first thing that came to my mind when I read this.

prophet sez: This is a fucking source of IRE. I'm not even in the fucking country and funny messages me saying, "Do you remember who I copied off of for that tree? Because I don't!" So I spend five minutes of my precious time scanning through Nucleus. "funny, are you sure it's a print?" "Yeah!" "How sure are you?" "You know, sure!" "I can't find this shit." "Oh wait, it's in the artwork section! Fufufu, no need to worry it!" funny, fuck you. I wasted five minutes of my precious chill time and now I'm wasting more lashing out. You better buy me tiramisu when we come back. Cheesecake? Thumbs down, sucker.

---

Lavie Rhap: Despite Etrian Oddity being more "insider" than SBSB2D, we hope it has more widespread appeal in the sense that this comic will provide snapshots of our interactions with one another. While our chatlogs do enough, funny wanted to add a visual element. Ink, following his artistic calling, became unavailable for such duties, so funny took it upon himself to do so. That said, please be generous in your tolerance for funny's artwork. Most of it is copied, unabashedly so. A rather low-note to end out on, but here with the Rabbits, we try to be honest when we can.

funny_bunny: Don't worry, my luxurious Lavie! Let's get away, fly away! I found the path to paradise! Shining spiral of gold! Take my hand, find our way out! Heavenly stars above...just believe what's in your heart! No border between us; I can always feel you inside! INSIDE!

Lavie Rhap: How comforting! I'll rest easy tonight.

funny_bunny: And every night! For the night is what we own and the stars are ours.

Lavie Rhap: Ah, have you started on the next issue?

funny_bunny: Hoho! HOHO!

Lavie Rhap: May the stars guide you to brilliance and ecstasy.

funny_bunny: When WOULDN'T they?

Enter the Thousand Rabbits

2008-06-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah, thousand of us. All of us girls and oh-so-horny. Love you long time.

Ha! Fuck off. It's prettyprophet, your unfriendly neighborhood PR Rabbit and I'm here to give you all the business on the Villa. Villa Leporidae. "Hey bitch, isn't this funny's shot of semen? What's filthy wymmin doing up in this piece?" Well, cuntlips, I'm up in this piece because funny_bunny is a flighty lunatic who really isn't the preferred person to talk shop. We all go on tangents but funny? funny's different.

Alright, so I'm supposed to outline who the Thousand Rabbits are and what they do. I know, we briefly went over it at the Reich but that was random bits of dialog everywhere and that one relationship map we came up with for no particular reason. Probably to lessen confusion amongst ourselves. Whatever. There's no big secret behind the Thousand Rabbits. It's the name we use for any team/project/report/doujin circle/counterfeiter ring. "Then what the hell's the Reich? The Republic? The Villa? The Club?" Yeah...those are all funbuns' creations. Thousand Rabbits? Funny story.

Way back at the beginning of college, when the clubs were recruiting people, we were chillaxing with some friends from the anime club. For some reason or another, a bunch of us decided to get a table, prop it right beside the anime club, and steal potential recruits for our super awesome fake club. ed, being the wonderful asshole showman he is, was especially useful for this, convincing people to join through bribery and also convincing them to join no one else. Course, it didn't take long for other clubs to start wondering, "Who the fuck are these jackasses?" So someone from admin gets sent and starts talking to us. Who comes at that exact moment? funny_fucking_bunny. ed just grabs funny and he's like, "Tell 'em who we are. These guys? They don't know who we are." "Oh, you mean the crew here?" "Yeah, they don't know us." "It's a pretty long story." "It's alright, just talk."

funny then spends 15 minutes detailing all of our relationships with one another and EXACTLY what we did. To paraphrase:

"I'm funny_bunny and, with my friend nde, we write scripts. prettyprophet, who is nde's sister, she's also getting into it. Do you know that they're twins? Yeah, they don't look alike but the resemblance is there! edthefucker and Kawaii Pattycakes are consultants...mainly because ed doesn't work well in a structured environment and Pat is very hyperactive. Lavie Rhap is the editor and moral support...but I don't see her around right now."

"...and this little outfit of yours--"

"Oh, we're...nde, what did we call ourselves?"

"Had to do with rabbits. Thousand Rabbits, I think."

"Yes! Thousand Rabbits! Was it 'A' or 'The'? A Thousand Rabbits. The Thousand. I'm going with the Thousand. The Thousand Rabbits."

"Look, if you want this to be a club, you have to fill out--"

"Club? We're not a club."

And that's the end of that story. Needless to say, it set off the spark in funny's head to turn whatever the fuck the Thousand Rabbits originally were into something more...grandiose. He named practically everyone up there, with the exception of one member who started a year after we did. Here, have the roster:

Lavie Rhap: She's the stable, older sister-type that keeps everyone from killing each other. Very normal, very boring. If conflict is the essence of drama, Lavie brings on the Zs. Because of her good-nature, she gets the task of editing whatever. Probably one of the few people I know that I don't regularly get pissed off at...though I get pissed off anyways because she's so damn understanding. STOP BEING AN ADULT AND SINK TO OUR LEVEL.

Killer Ink: Ah, our youngest member...who's the most mature following Lavie. Maybe more, because this guy, this guy's dedicated. He's an artist hardcore and after selling his soul for like, a year or so, he inherited cash and refuses to commission anymore, even for friends. And THAT's why our doujinshi look like shit; Ink is not the artist, funny is. Still, Ink spends so much time with us that he may as well draw it...he just doesn't. Plus funny is totally incapable of following his advice so...too bad!

edthefucker: All groups of friends have assholes. Ours? We've got a lot. Narrowing ourselves down to the Thousand Rabbits leaves us with ed. I guess I can be bitchy too, but I'm going to arrogantly declare that I'm not. So ed the fucker. He's an elitist cunt and gets off on fucking people around and he knows it, loves it. That's just who he is. He used to be one of the most dangerous to be around for a multitude of reasons...then people like holstein and 7672359440 came. Those two ain't part of the Thousand, but ed? Yeah, still fucking crazy. What does he contribute? Antagonism. There's your drama.

Kawaii Pattycakes: You know how you have friends from the old days and you think about them and you question yourself, "How the fuck am I still friends with this person?" Well, that's my situation with Pat. Pat is a fucking Japanophile. I don't mean like myself, nde, funny, Bug Prince, Kibbles&Mint, HERZOG, Trojan...a lot of other people...who have tastes that INCLUDE Asian junk. Hey, half of us ARE Asian, so that kinda makes sense with us dealing with Asian culture, right? Pat's white and her interests are EXCLUSIVELY focused on all Asian material. And I seriously emphasize ALL. You got gwai los who tattoo shit like 'rising sun' on arms and they're like, "Yeah, I'm badass" but they don't have a clue about Imperial Japan's rampaging massacres through the 40s. People will say, "Boy, I'm glad Vietcong killed those Yanks" and not give a thought towards the Commies that were sure as shit more corrupt than any puppet-state. Pat here...if there's one thing I'll admire her for...is the fact that she goes beyond all these fake-Japanophiles and REALLY sink her teeth into Asia. I don't think it's love; I think it's insane fascination. Naturally, her LOVE for Asian pop culture overwhelms anything of worth, so we're stuck with listening to some crap tunes from some throwaway anime OP. If you haven't guessed, Pat is our liaison for the otaku geekdom. Pat, fuck you for making me explain your position.

nde: I hate this kid more than Pat! Heh, I remember when I started calling nde 'kid', mom would get pissed. "He's older than you!" "Uh, only by a few minutes." Anyways, nde, my brother. Love him lots. The only person I can stand to be around for more than a day. Yeah, I can't even take Lavie for longer than that. All that courtesy and responsibility? Yuck. This kid, despite being the most quiet and shy little thing, somehow became acquainted with the likes of ed, Ink, and funbuns. Hilariously, he's still quiet and shy. But he's a wonderful smith of words and, surprisingly, can match funny on terms of bizarre ideas. That's why whenever those two collaborate on something, know that it'll be FUCKED up.

funny_bunny: I'd like to say that there's no person more infuriating and entertaining than funbuns. You might not believe this, but no one here can ever truly figure out what he's thinking. That drives me crazy because for all of funny's talk of rules, law, and love...there's no application to his own life. His own life is a fucking whirlwind of anything that crosses his mind. How can I tell? In the space of one year, he's embarked on more pet projects than Pat has yaoi doujinshi. Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but let's see...funny was a columnist, photographer, an children's book writer, journalist, lyricist, DJ Maxer, tutor, pianist, scanlator, videographer, playwright, doujinshi artist, and one-time videogame music remixer. And those are the only ones I know of. Half of those ended abruptly because that's how funny is. He just goes forth and does whatever until he burns out on it. As of this date, he's mainly been pigeonholed into the scan scene because we're forcing him to be focused. But you don't "force" funny into anything. He either does it because he wants to or he doesn't do it at all. So this is why funny hasn't done anything for the SBSB2D doujinshi yet. Blame his lazy ass. Anyways, funny_bunny: scatterbrained leader of the Rabbits.

prettyprophet: Now how can I describe that prophet...she's astonishingly beautiful for one. And her wit? Look out, Oscar Wilde! Why, I'd say prophet is PERFECT. Right, so I'm prettyprophet, the most...active member of the Rabbits. If nde and Lavie are the base, funny the meat, Ink the vegetables, and Pat and ed the spices...I would be the cook. I make us do stuff. Now it's not like I'm a god, unfortunately. Pat, funny, ed, and Ink? Those idiots will do their own thing and completely disregard anything I have to say. Again, SBSB2D doujinshi. Still, someone has to be the spokesperson and that's where I fit in. In fact, I crowbarred my way in. "Hey nde, who's this goof?" "I'm funny_bunny, pleased to make your acquaintance. We're making a short film about cake." "Cool. Peace out." Next thing you know, I'm more involved with the Rabbit projects than the people who started them. Why else am I the one writing all this?

And that's who we are. There's a lot of shit I left out, like ed having a band, me being in a band, Pat drawing yaoi that could be mistaken for abstract art, Ink's shady business deals, Lavie doing nothing important, funny going recluse for weeks, and nde's fucking weird relationships with girls. But I'll never get into any of that unless it's directly linked to the Rabbits. Why? One day I might tell the story of why everyone more or less insists on anonymity...or maybe I won't.

Whatever. The Villa isn't a place for all that personal blogger bullshit. You want some stupid yarn about the political sphere? Fakeass, hit-grabbing post about how my house burned down, now I need money? Fuck that. The Villa is a totally non-serious, non-important blog that has no reason to exist. Why? Because funny's just using it to talk about his figure love. We'll probably go geek on other things like games and movies. Make no mistake; even though I'm writing a fuckload here, this blog is funny's and not in the "the Reich is funny's" way. The Reich is Rabbit property, including Rabbits who aren't in the Thousand. The Villa's funny with free reign, so he could talk about dogdicking cannibalism for all I care. Also, we're not furries, we just use "Rabbit" to designate between "crew involved" and "crew not involved". Shame, ain't it? We would have looked absolutely stunning in our anthropomorphic forms, fucking each other and so forth.

There you have it! This fucking long diatribe that I hope explains ourselves. And if it doesn't, boo-fucking-hoo. Deal with it.

Yeah, I shoved Okama scans throughout to make this more interesting. OKAMA, OKAMARBLE! burnt-fish, yo, check it.

Rabbit Review: UJ14 Full of Vice

2008-06-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

Name: UJ14
Series: PSE Products
Sculptor: No clue, designed by Range Murata
Maker: Beagle/Vice
Figure Type: 1/8 scale PVC
First Release: November 2006
Purchase Price: $40 US (sale)
Purchased From: AnimeNation

funny_bunny: I, funbuns, am pleased to bring the first Rabbit Review of Villa Leporidae. This is a very solemn occasion and as such, I bring my dear friend nde to assist in the ceremonies.

nde: Hi.

funny_bunny: Pray tell, nde, what do you think of superstar artist Range Murata?

nde: I like him.

funny_bunny: If I were to give you the secret sex sketches of Mr. Range, would you sell them for megabux or keep them for your own personal pleasures?

nde: I think they'd get passed around. We don't get much privacy around here.

funny_bunny: Indeed! Look at your fiendish imouto, walking around in a bathrobe and boxers, ignoring the two strapping young bucks plus two does watching her ecchi form!

prettyprophet: Fucking hell, Pat butchers jap enough, don't you start.

funny_bunny: The does are Nyx and Peking Duck.

nde: I don't think they're going to say much.

Peking Duck: Hey, I don't think YOU say much. Even though you should, because you're insightful, not like your friend here.

funny_bunny: Nay, my precious Peking Duck, my words contain incredible magic. Like a treasure chest in the gullet of Jack Sparrow.

nde: The last kiss of broken lovers.

funny_bunny: When is love not broken? Shattered?

nde: I don't know.

funny_bunny: It can be no other way. Perfection is but a dream!

nde: What about figures?

funny_bunny: Ah...figures.

funny_bunny: FIGURES.

nde: She seems rather lacking of emotion.

funny_bunny: Looking into a mirror? But I jest, for I know of your true fire!

nde: Thanks.

funny_bunny: Yes, UJ14...she was a gift! A gift from the amazing Aerith's Bitch!

funny_bunny: What subtle sexuality!

nde: Distracted.

funny_bunny: Mirror?

nde: Maybe.

funny_bunny: This is what nde would look like should he be a loli retro-mecha doll. Gets the jollies all up!

nde: I wonder why she's called UJ14.

funny_bunny: "Unlimited Joy" #14. The only working prototype of an experimental sex robot series. The project was scrapped due to mass protest against the moral implications, thus shelving UJ14 away forever! But a boy in the April of his fifteenth year stumbles upon this sleeping beauty...what travails await them? What suffering? What salvation?

nde: Headphones?

funny_bunny: Music quenches her thirst, her hunger. It is her lifeblood and she sings without feeling anything.

nde: Her personal pain was never taken into consideration. She existed not for herself, but for others.

funny_bunny: Is that not the most wonderful life? To be needed, to be wanted?

nde: Until we can give no more.

funny_bunny: Gaze! To far away lands, to the beyond. What does she see?

nde: Nothing, perhaps. How human can she be?

funny_bunny: Human? Humanity is not the measure of all things!

nde: I think it is.

funny_bunny: Beauty, dear nde, beauty. What human purpose could that device burden her with?

nde: To keep her alive?

funny_bunny: All that steel, plastic, and synthesis! Is not more fabulous than flesh? The flesh is weak and falls prey to exhaustion. UJ14 shall never break, never tire...is what holstein would say, fufufu.

funny_bunny: Do you not wish to embrace this one?

nde: Is she so truly vulnerable?

funny_bunny: Is she?

nde: Isn't it rooted within to protect the meek?

funny_bunny: And destroy!

funny_bunny: But how can the meek have such posterior?

nde: I suppose she has a soft behind.

funny_bunny: A thousand courtesans provided the raw data.

nde: I wonder if she gets lonely.

funny_bunny: But of course! She is the only one of her kind and she will never die. The boy in the April of his fifteenth year...time and blood shall ravage him. And she will never die.

nde: I think we all die alone.

funny_bunny: Who won't?

funny_bunny: Oh! Tricksies she played on us!

nde: No contact.

funny_bunny: Do we need contact?

nde: What of her blush?

funny_bunny: Could this be her moment of melancholy following her...exertions?

nde: So she thinks.

funny_bunny: And exists. Good on her!

funny_bunny: So? Now that you've seen what I have to show, what do you believe in?

nde: I believe in Murata's eyes.

funny_bunny: Does UJ14 have such eyes? Also, Form Code scans from burnt-fish!

nde: She does not express.

funny_bunny: Lamentations of the limitations! Even the engineered have flaws.

nde: Was she not meant to be cold?

funny_bunny: Yet not frigid! UJ14, you must stay cool! Stay distant! Stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you!

funny_bunny addendum: Now that you've read all THAT, take a look at a SEX review with SEX photography!

Last Exile for Lavie Rhap! PROPHET THOUGHT THIS IMAGE WAS YURI, THAT SAUCY SYLPH.

"Hello? This is Elizabeth..."

2008-06-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

"I'm calling to inform you of a change in Alter's line-up...I believe a 1/8 PVC figure of Yours Truly is now being created...I thought you might like to know. I wish you a safe purchase."

SWEET JUMPING MOON RABBITS! Damn you, Aerith's Bitch, for linking this! Probably costs $50 at HLJ! October release?! Photos from HOBBY STOCK! Scan from BE YOUR TRUE MIND!

Oh Elizabeth, I would love to eat Inari sushi with you one day.